Grand National Day, with a difference

Great post! Well done 

Yes absolutely sjAnon, great post. Horse racing was never my thing luckily my love of horses ( all animals) would put me off betting on it, and definitely not the grand national as the thought of those beautiful animals paying the ultimate price for people's pleasure really upset me. It's interesting isn't it that there are things that will overcome the desire to bet on certain things .....and then other things slots bingo etc nothing stopped me !! Best not to dwell on it like yourself recovery is always at the front of my mind now and the desire to live life in a different better way.

Hi SJanon.

Thats good news! Keep talking about it and I hope you can sit down with non gamblers and go through the exercises of reinforcing these feelings.

I wouldnt even look at the result and I dont see any gambling as good behaviour so I wouldnt focus too much on what being normal is.

Use time to strengthen your monitoring group and learn about addiction

Your parachute in for a day comment is interesting. Its like any addiction. Smokers dont like very casual social smokers and drinkers generally like to stay together. Class A users grouped together think other people are squares. Its powerful how addiction creates barriers to suit its own comfort zone

Horse racing was never my thing but Im not complacent about the power of any form of gambling I like to see a horse in a field or running free on the Patagonian plains. Never liked the idea of servitude to mankind.

I wonder if anybody would be interested in horse racing if it wasnt linked to gambling...these are thoughts you need to hear from people. You need to hear other views and in time you will be more comfortable with them until what are you missing?? but the pain and misery of problem gambling. Nobody was ever giving you life changing odds on the only four legged horse and you need to talk that through with non gamblers

You need to hear views on horses from non gamblers. Time is a healer and you will relax with the blocks on knowing you can never be complacent again.

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Hi SJanon

this is a great forum for myself. Horse racing for me too was my demon it’s where I lost the most money and would constantly chase loses. I used to feel the same as you about the grand national people coming in one day taking over a sport i followed and betted on and then left. While I’d secretly have about 10 horses backed in the race and keep on the gambling ways. While these ones would come in do 1 horse and win and I’d be left with losing. This is my second week GF and I found it very tough for the week that was in it. Although I couldn’t physically bet due to blocks it didn’t change the fact that I missed it with it being everywhere. I’m actually thankful it came so early in my recovery days because it was still fresh in my head that I didn’t want to do it. I’m glad the week is over mind you. 

Congrats on the 250 days you should be super proud I someday hope to be like you 

thanks 

Stephen 

Thanks all for your comments.

Joy - absolutely, horse racing is intrinsically linked to gambling and would likely not exist without it. Now I've had time to take a step back I can see all the unhealthy behaviour and thoughts- as you say, time heals.

Stephen- you sound just like me mate, secretly betting on half the field where everyone 'normal' just backs one or two. I've even had years where I had to pretend I'd lost cos I'd already declared my bets to my family, or I'd declared a few of them.

What I would say from my experience is try to step away from it all. It's easier when it's not in front of you all the time. I know TV ads don't help, but avoid websites etc. where you know it will be. It does get easier, but it's a tough slog.

Definitely I could have had the winner and I would day a peep or react in away so my family don’t realise it was a scary thought looking back. It’s so hard to avoid it when it is everywhere but I managed to get through it. People like you seeing 250 days GF really spur me on and know there is another side to this 

Hi SJ

I have to say that your post resonated with me a lot. I only penned a similar post a few weeks ago when Cheltenham was on. I was the exact same soldier as you, I would have half the field backed in the national (and sometimes more). Invariably I lost money on the race every year and I would be sick as a parrot if my Mam, sister or any other "casual" observer put a fiver on the race and came out with the winner and here I was with 15 horses backed and all losers. On reflection I think I backed most of the field as I wanted to be able to say "I had the winner", even if I made a loss on the race as a whole. Ridiculous behaviour I know, but most of my behaviour for a 5/6 year period was ridiculous to be honest. 

You have the right idea above of just avoiding it. Like you I know that the national is in April, but it was only a day or two beforehand that I realised that it would be taking place on Saturday. As soon as I learned this, I just took a breather from anything social media related and made sure that I was careful around newspapers, tv ads, online articles etc etc. To me it would only make the day that bit harder to get through. Far better to distance yourself as you are doing so well done. Recovery is hard enough without that sort of temptation dangling in front of you.

Cheers, Happy

Hi Happy 

Yeah I can relate 100% - it became less about the money and more about just having a winner with me. I remember some flat races with 6-7 runners and I'd back all of them to ensure I got that win, even if it meant there were only a couple of outcomes where I'd actually win money.

As you say, all logic goes out of the window and the blinkers go on.

I also knew Cheltenham was on thanks to the constant betting ads on TV, but again I managed to disengage. A bit simplistic, but for me it's 'see no evil, hear no evil'.

I actually feel a bit guilty about the National for my parents and family as they always had a bet but I think they don't want to now because of what happened to me.

I've given up wishing I was able to show restraint and control, more focusing on the future and staying gamble free day after day.

It's weird really as if you'd have talked to me back in August last year there's not much I wouldn't have known about horses, trainers and jockeys. But I can honestly say I didn't know one horse running at the weekend.

When this all ended for me I didn't want to let go of all that knowledge I'd built up over 10 plus years. But I'm so glad I did as it's made it so much easier to move on.

Take care everyone 

SJC

Yeah I can relate to that too SJ. When I first came into recovery I wasn't ready to "let everything go" like you have mentioned above. I felt like I had built up this wealth of knowledge over a considerable amount of time and it would be a waste to completely disengage and lose all that. Sure what if I did go back gambling and I didn't have that knowledge to call upon? I wasn't ready yet to call it quits. So in my early recovery I basically didn't spend money on gambling but I was probably still watching the same amount of sport. It was absolute torture. I was doing my head in. I had to disengage from it and even then it was little by little at a time until I broke away from pretty much all sports, but especially horse racing. It's only the last few months that I've been able to watch some sports without the inevitable urges of wanting to check the odds on a particular event. When these sort of thoughts come into my head, it's important again to disengage again for awhile and make sure I don't become anxious. For me when I start thinking outside the "keep it in the day" mantra and allow my brain to start going into hyperdrive that this is "for the rest of my life", that's when I get anxious and I struggle. And a big thing for me to relive that stress and anxiety is knowing when and when I shouldn't be watching sports, specifically the ones I would have looked forward to gambling on.

Cheers, Happy