Guilty

lucyhelp

Thanks for posting and acknowledging the issue , please don't ever feel worthless and ashamed , this is an addiction and a coping mechanism , these things happen. 

Please feel free to contact the GamCare Helpline on 0808 8020 133 or Netline to explore the additional support available to you. We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week if you would like to talk to one of the GamCare HelpLine advisers.

you can self exclude from most online gambling by registering at www.gamstop.co.uk this self excludes you from many gambling websites .

You can also download blocking software onto devices that you have been gambling on by going to www.Gamban.com/gamcare  (this link currently has a free licence which covers a number of devices for upto 5 years)

Kirk 

Forum Admin 

Hi, Know exactly how you feel, in fact, I could have written your post almost word by word a couple of years ago, moving forward a few years I can tell you what will probably happen if you don't stop gambling - you can spend years fooling yourself, telling yourself things like " it's just one more ticket, one more game and I might win big and all will be sorted" "I'll stop on my next big win"...fact is you won't stop, you might even win big one day and you'll spend it all straightway. You'll be spending all you have which you promised yourself was for this bill or that extra, then you will turn into whatever is available to you overdraft, credit cards, loans, even using other people's names to incur in more debt(I did it using my partner's name), then the consequences -you keep getting overdue bills, debt collectors calling you every minute of the day, ccjs, it's a nightmare! And worst than this will be the guilt, as you said you had planned stuff for your family and you find yourself barely having enough for essentials, probably counting the coins mid-month not sure where to turn for the rest of the month up until the next payment. Then you stop one day to think about the time you spent gambling instead of being with your family, plus I don't know if you have a partner but if that's the case one day they'll know about it all, in my case I dragged my partner into my mess so not only did we lose a lot of money he now finds himself unable to apply to any financial products (loans, overdraft, credit cards) as I used his name, his signature, did all I could to finance my addiction, we're still together but not sure for how much longer, sometimes I just feel he gave up on me, and rightly so as I'm not sure I would remain with him if it was the other way around. As for my kids, now 2 grown up boys, I do feel I could have given them so much more, time, attention, maybe a better life...as for me, been struggling with depression for years, was referred for therapy which was useful but even then I kept on playing and generally feel I've wasted the last 15 years of my life. So my advice to you, stop now if you can, you will lose yourself if you don't, if you're struggling financially, search for help talk/chat to the national debtline or your citizens advice bureau, there are ways you just have to find the one for you. Think of your kids, your partner, your family, they need you, not stressed or anxious or constantly irritated, they need your time, attention and just enjoy the little moments when they ask you for a little extra and you reach your wallet and happily pay for it cause you didn't spend it on gambling. Most of all, think of yourself you are worthy, and you are able, it is a struggle, a daily struggle for the rest of your life, but even when you relapse and you will, don't stay there that's all that matters, rise up again. You can do it, one day, one hour at a time. You are not alone.

Thank you so much for the replies . I'm currently sitting with 9p in my bank and my pay day is on Monday.  Today being Thursday.  Already like you said belle , waiting to buy a ticket , possibly 10 pound worth over various games , I set myself a budget of 30 pounds a month , that lasted 5 mins . I'm so disappointed in myself. Not sleeping and just wanted to pay my daughter bk in one go , though she's said I can each month . The anxiety is just as you described,  I'm hiding my finances,  getting jealous of winners , crying at night as I'm not one of them.  I dunno whst to do 

Also I wanted to add . I have an addict personality.  I keep telling myself I will win but I won't.  I've lost so much weight with the stress so much fun , I put on an act all is good but it's not . I'm upset , crying , angry and it's all my own doing . It's just awful