Having debt is essential

It's meant to serve as a constant reminder. Unfortunately everyone seems fixated on credit score. Debt is a consequence. Once debt free, I know what happens. As I always say, it's not about money. There is also a good thing from it because if you do consistently pay your debts you are far more credit worthy and it teaches you to manage. Worrying about debt is a way to avoid what's really going on.

Lol,

I know where you're coming from. Every now and again my debt agency contacts me to ask if i can pay more. I could pay my debt off quicker but all the time I have poor credit i know i have no chance of a loan. I made sure I only have a basic debit card account with no overdraft facility so no temptations there. In 2008 before the bank crash the friendly guys at the bank kept offering me overdraft increases and loans. I wrote to my bank manager asking him to withdraw my overdraft facility and option for loans due to being a compulsive gambler. Not only did he not bother to reply to me, after paying a bill at the bank one day the women told me I was eligible for a loan fo £25,000. I just laughed at her. Thankfully I was having a sensible day or I'd be in an even bigger mess now. Only £2000 left to pay.

Stu

Good luck stu, great news, guess I’m saying the debt is helping me focus, I’ve no where else to go but pay it down and for once not adding to it.....if I had no debt the temptations are there, I’m hoping changing my lifestyle and valuing money will keep me gambling free

Mr L had a full bailout courtesy of me and my parents first time round. All it did was preserve his then excellent credit rating so he could run up the same amount all over again. Second time round my parents offered again but I said no. He had a DMP through Payplan and took on a weekend delivery job to repay the kids what he'd conned out of them.

IMO and as he didn't see the DMP payments actually going out as I handle the finances it was good for him to be reminded regularly that the debt was there and his and he had to come up with the strategies to repay it.

Lethe wrote:

Mr L had a full bailout courtesy of me and my parents first time round. All it did was preserve his then excellent credit rating so he could run up the same amount all over again. Second time round my parents offered again but I said no. He had a DMP through Payplan and took on a weekend delivery job to repay the kids what he'd conned out of them.

IMO and as he didn't see the DMP payments actually going out as I handle the finances it was good for him to be reminded regularly that the debt was there and his and he had to come up with the strategies to repay it.

Yes that’s the sort of thing I mean can help, being backed into a corner means you have to be very focused and determined to get out of it, there’s no bail out for me, no cop out by running from the debt, I’m paying it as it’s my mess but I fear once I’m debt free in 4 years I will relapse, hopefully by then I will have trained my mind to be a different person.Thats for the future I guess, I’ve a hell of a lng way to go yet, I’m nowhere near out of the woods, far from it.

I have always found it easier to repay debt than to save, which does not really make sense to me, but that's how it has been ever since I was a young adult.

In chat recently I have been banging on about my soon-to-be-gone overdraft, wanting it gone more rapidly and generally being impatient. However, when it is gone, as it will be in a couple of weeks, what then?

I am not afraid of falling back into gambling, the blocks are in place, but I know my self-discipline to repay whatever I owe is far greater than my motivation to save will be. So I am considering going into what I might call 'positive debt' such as buying a much needed replacement household item with the overdraft, then paying that off again, and when that's done moving on to the next thing. I have a list of priority items that can be tackled like this. Loads better than giving it to a gambling habit as I have been doing for years on end.

It still keeps the annoying overdraft annoyingly active! But better that, possibly, than thinking that I have 'spare' cash just to fritter away on inconsequential bits and pieces.

(I no longer have any credit cards, the overdraft is the only credit line I have.)

Thanks,

When I was gambling my life was go to work, come home, get drunk, gamble, feel miserable, repeat. I became so isolated and chronically depressed. I lost all faith in myself, I hated mysef so much. Since I stopped gambling, every day i feel better and better. I started going to some local meet ups, it wasn't easy as I'd become so unsociable but it's really given me hope for the future. I go to the gym 4 times a week and hoping to get back to work soon. In the past I'd come home, drink, gamble, downward spiral, quit job and plan suicide. Lol, I know it's not funny. I honestly don't know how I'm still here but every day get's a little brighter thanks to Naltrexone. In the past I was afraid to get out there, try new things, meet new people. I'm doing that now and it feels good. There's so much to do in life other than hand your money to the already stinking rich bookmaking industry. Apparently they will lose £200 million is the favourite wins in the Grand National this year. I so hope it wins.

All the best

Stu

I guess I fear that having savings I will blow it and cause me to relapse? I’ve no where to go with my debt for 2 years so I have no choice, my fear is I start to gamble once I start to get into this debt and get it down.Urges aren’t there at all but because I know in my head I simply can’t gamble because if I do this life all falls apart it’s stopping me from gambling.

my biggest fear is having money...weird.

Okay understood you are very much worried about your debts. Here is the solution you will get <a href=" removed link " target="true">debt relief order, you need the approval of an Individual Voluntary Arrangement (IVA). Once your IVA is finished the payment will be distributed to your unsecured creditors.

I can see where you're coming from, having a regular payment coming out of your account/paycheck each month to pay off debt for some time, or being overdrawn by a large amount is a painful yet immediate reminder of your problem gambling debacles. I think some people might be tempted to chase their losses though. I myself would rather lose my own money than get into debt by the same amount - up to a point, obviously being 300k in debt for a lot of people is never to be paid off and losing 300k like your house would be worse.

On the other hand I was fired abruptly from job last week with about £37k debt. I live at parents at the moment and desperately want to move out of the house and out of this town back to where I was in 2016 and that's not happening now for a long time. I'm stuck in this town and there are little in the way of suitable office jobs available, suitable as in ones I can get above min wage. I might even struggle to get an actual full time min wage/manual labour job in the month or two grace period I will hopefully be allowed to get. So I might be facing bankruptcy with up to a 5 year restriction (5 years of garnishing wages). In any case manual labour won't put much of a dent in £37k. Side note: I actually won all this back 6 weeks ago, but due to the sites stalling on the withdrawals for days/weeks and my greed I did it all back again. Absolutely gutted and has probably shaped the next 5-10 years of my life in a negative way. I'd be unemployed but no or smaller debt. I'm drinking fairly heavily at the moment with a bit of my last remaining meagre funds (£2 bottles of cider). One last partial paycheck coming in which will be swallowed up unless I cancel all the direct debits and send letters out to all creditors hoping for a reprieve.

So yeah debt is 'good' as a reminder but if it's going to screw up your life, for me the next 5-8 years possibly, for others perhaps being made homeless then it's not really such a good tool!

Yes I know exactly what you are saying. Clearing the decks, feeling good or feeling a bit flush can be triggers to start gambling again. It all comes under the broad heading of complacency setting in. 

Then again paying debts off is no real comfort zone so there are confusing thought processes at work as always with this addiction.

I think what you are saying is that debt repayment gives a strict forced discipline on managing money and whats left over. It even gives a solid purpose when we were aimless and footloose with money before.

So Is it that we fear suddenly losing that having less controls over our spare money. I would say that we would always need some controls in place perhaps for the rest of our lives. As a recovering gambler I can never be complacent for the rest of my life just like an alcoholic or drug user.

Sardo raises a good point though that large debts are depressing and can trigger an only way out scenario. I would say that there is life after bankruptcy...I couldnt handle £10,000...there was no way I could have paid it when I was unemployed and needed retraining. I was quite skilled in a general way but nobody was employing older guys...and that's an economic fact..... not my sour grapes

I agree that our mental health is way more important than credit scores. Its easy to say look at the bigger picture and go off travelling round the world. I understand that people have commitments but I see no pint worrying yourself ill about debts that can not be repaid.

 Depending on circumstances,there is a level of debt which is manageable and a level which isnt.

Im building a new relationship with money. Im a much better saver now but thats mainly because Im scared to spend it on anything. This is a worry as I dont want to turn into a total miser. This is also the effect that a gambling addcition has. It can screw people up on dealing with money in a healthy way...I know the fear of losing it so Im tending to hoard it into little piles.......this is all a work in progress.

Best wishes to everyone on the forum