I have finally taken the steps to do something about my addiction.
I rang Gamcare up and will get to chat to a councillor. Just reading through the Allen Carr book, just taking a break from it.
I finally done that after 30 years of gambling because I have used money that was lent to me to buy a car and spent it it gambling over the weekend.
I have not £1 to my name. What a plank. I do get money from a part time job and benefits but currently have less than £1 in my bank account.
This is more of a write something down post to try to figure out how I am going to tell my mother to who gave me the money.
I feel utterly ashamed, what a total idiot that I have been. In one big hole.
Hello Iwillbefree,
Well done for joining the forum, posting here, calling GamCare, booking an appointment, reading about recovery... it sounds like you are doing a lot recently to turn this difficult time into a turning point that could direct you towards recovery.
You might be feeling shame at the moment, but perhaps that could be transformed into a more constructive remorse, if you take further actions to support your recovery, for example by putting effective blocks in place, perhaps signing self-exclusion agreements and so on.
Our forum members sometimes post "If nothing changes then nothing changes", in other words if you keep everything the same you'll probably get similar results of more problem gambling. This quote also suggests that recovery won't come about by feeling shame or by wishing for recovery, but rather it is more likely you'll make further progress in recovery by taking actions to prevent relapse and by making changes to improve your life. So well done to you for taking those steps you've mentioned, including arranging to see a counsellor.
Take care,
Forum admin.
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