How do I take the last step

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(@fqyneax0vw)
Posts: 7
Topic starter
 

Hi 

I didnt gamble for 7 years and then I have a relapse and spent 13k in about a week, I and to take a loan to cover this and I've been paying it back every since with no bother. I haven't gambled again since, its been over 8 months. I don't have the desire to do it again, I have been reminded of the feelings of guilt, sadness, shame and tbh suicidal thoughts. The  feeling of  not gambling is so  much better. I realised I need mental health support due to severe  childhood trauma and I have an appointment next week 

 The problem is I was so ashamed I didn't tell my partner , it wasn't just ashamed but had the fear of him being mad and telling his family who are very judgemental. I don't have anyone else but him and he's not empathic even if he's a very good man, he doesn't like to talk about serious things and when I call myself a addict he denies I am or changes the conversation. 

He came home today to say he's contacted a mortgage broker, they have only asked for our wage slips but let's face it the secret will be out soon. I can't bare this at all

 Any advice what to do? 

 
Posted : 26th February 2024 10:54 pm
(@stace)
Posts: 437
 

I think the best think to do is be honest with him before he finds out himself. It goes a long way when it comes from us ourselves, its so much harder when they find out about it other ways. You've not gambled now in 8 months, which is a huge achievement in itself. If you were to tell him, you can show him the steps you've taken to stop and show him how determined you are. I was terrified when I had to tell my partner, I couldn't even face doing it face to face so I wrote him a really long letter explaining why I turned to gambling, what I've done to help me stop etc. Yes he was mad at first, and hurt but he did come round and supported me. All the best. Stay strong

Stace

 
Posted : 27th February 2024 11:45 am

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