I wrote a post on here in the Autumn time 'what has happened to me'. Since then, I've really struggled. I won a lot of money only to then lose it again, and more. In a short space of time, I've irrationally lost savings I carefully saved over the past few years and I feel completely ashamed, disappointed and upset with myself. I've been fixated on in play tennis betting and it has crippled my thinking. I've been desperately wanting to open up about it to those closest to me, but felt too embarrassed to do so. As a rational and careful person in so many other aspects of life, I don't think I will ever understand my actions. There is some context to my actions, but I do not believe the context excuses what I have done. Like many others I have read about on here, I never in a million years imagined gambling would be a problem for me, but it has become one and I must now accept that.
The 21st February 2024 is going to be an important day in my life. I have signed up GamStop for 5 years and there will be no more betting for me. I want to focus my attention solely on the most important things in my life and if I can help others in any way in the future, I may be able to look back on this experience with a bit of positivity.
Alongside this important date, there is a song (the title of which is this article) by Jimmy Cliff which I heard recently on the radio which resonated with me and is also going to help move me forward.
I can see clearly now the rain has gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way,
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It's going to be a bright, bright sunshiny day.
Good luck to all.
What a lovely post! I have won money but lost so many thousands over the last 12 years, with gaps in between. Like you, I am so sensible in most aspects of my life and can budget so well down to every last penny! My friends just would be shocked if they knew how much I have spent and lost on gambling. Over just a couple of months, I lost 27k of my own money after selling my property - leaving me just lucky enough to be able to purchase my current home with no mortgage- that's the sensible side of me but how embarrassing/soul destroying that was for me at the time.
I have such a loving and kind family and friends yet only one of my brothers and my sister know about all of the above. They both offered me support financially when I needed it but I do believe that this was because they knew how hard I have worked over the years and brought my son up single handedly.
May you continue to see clearly as the days, works, months pass. Take care.
Pink Lady.
@j5a6meyr4z hi Pink Lady. It's good to hear your story too and as you say, a lot of similarities with what we have both experienced. I'm glad to hear you were able to purchase your home and I hope you can move away from these difficult times too.
I told my wife about it last night. I was dreading it and it wasn't an easy conversation but I do almost feel relieved now because although she is upset about it, I know in my head I took a big step yesterday and time will now be a healer.
Likewise, I hope you can continue to see clearly too in the weeks, months and years to come.
@08uy7jeoah Hi, reading your post today has been so overwhelming as I can really relate to everything you have wrote , I feel so alone in all of this it’s crippling me to bits.
I haven’t told my partner I have a real addiction, I too won a lot of money and lost it all then used a credit card to chase the loss and now I’m in debt because I couldn’t control myself
I took the first step today and called GamCare who were amazing and helped relieve a bit of anxiety in me, this page has also helped seeing I’m not alone
i reallt do hope there are brighter days ahead and we can see more clearly
Thanks again for sharing
Thank you.
@fy5xit6zgm hi Angela. I'm sorry to hear you have experienced similar and I can totally relate to the feelings of loneliness with it all.
The fact we have both opened up on here and also used GamCare gives me confidence we can put this behind us. For me it's going to be about obsessing with healthy things in life again (I did this in Covid), things like exercise, reading and cooking all help and I'm sure you will have similar things that could maybe help you alongside GamCare?
Good luck to you moving forward, there will be better days ahead.
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