I have now hit rock bottom and I am in deep trouble

Hi, I hope you’re ok? How you feel now won’t last forever and if you make the right choice, you will never experience that again. You can do this! 

Thanks guys, all really helpful and useful comments.

I feel better. I think I smiled a few times today and even accepted what I had done. I looked at my bank statement for the first time today and saw those large deposits I made not return. 

I was staring at a Roulette wheel today online imagining what number I would choice to see if it would come in. So I am clearly not quite there. The positive news is that I did not deposit any money and closed the tab. 

I think the point about the money and numbers is correct, I am focusing too much on the money that I lost rather than concentrating on the addiction side. £10.5K is a ridiculous amount to lose in about a week, especially after I said I'd be "tightening my belt" after I left my job. I did the complete opposite with nothing to show in return.

My debts are now just over £9000 which will have interest in 15 months. It gives me some room to focus on improving myself as a person before it starts to kick in. I performed a couple of money transfers, so I now have money in the bank, however it is debt.

My girlfriend is my soul mate. She's an absolute stunner and even when I had the £10K sitting in the bank she always paid for things. She's 15 years younger than I am and she's more mature than me. I believe she's pulling me through this as she's being extremely supportive.

I am an addict and I have been for years. I've only just realised this last week. It's crazy looking back at all those actions that I did, the amounts I was gambling. It disgusts me now.

I just now need to find a job that gives me some direction in life, I felt I've lost that this month and that perhaps contributed to my spiraling actions.

I am a match bettor as discussed, it is what paid for the house deposit and car, so I can't throw it away at this stage when I don't have a job. It's something I'll continue to do and I will try my hardest not to relapse.

6 days free, slowly getting my mental health back.

Once again I appreciate all the comments, I believe it saved my life. I've never drove to a bridge before and contemplated jumping off, I am now grateful that I did not as I can see a small ray of light.

Well done man, you have pulled yourself back from the brink and sounding a lot more positive. 6 days and building so keep the positive thoughts and stay strong.

Posted by: Ravloki

I posted a week or so ago about when I lost £5500 in about 20 minutes and that I had £6000 left to my name. Well today I gambled another £5000 and I have £1000 left, I am unemployed and I have a mortgage, and I feel like jumping off a bridge. I drove to it last night and considered it. I am in deep trouble.

I always had that £5500 loss in my mind and started imagining placing very large bets on the football outcomes. First I imagined placing £5000 on both teams to score in the Man City game and it came in. I was gutted. I then almost placed the same bet on the Manchester United game, and to my disbelief that too came in.

At half time yesterday I said I can't believe this and I placed a £5000 bet on "Under 3.5" market, but I actually placed it wrongly and accidently put "over 3.5 market".

Anyway, as usual, the "Under 3.5" came in. I thought I'd won, checked my account, and saw that I had just lost £5000 again. I have been physically sick and I don't understand why if there is a god this would happen. Someone is clearly having a laugh and joke with my misfortune here.

I have £1000 left and my bills are due every 1st of each month. I just left my job 3 weeks ago and was hoping to have some sort of income while I seek work, obviously I've completely blown my life.

I dont think I will get through this. I argued at my girlfriend yesterday and took it out on her. I am an absolute moron and I deserve nothing. I can't see me getting past this. Overall I've lost £10,500 in a matter of a few weeks tops and I have nowhere to go from here.

I've had a good last 2 years financially. I bought a new house which I'm moving into next month and I paid off my new car with money left over in the bank.

Suddenly I entered the employment world because what I was doing was no longer viable. As a result, I've been playing roulette to make up the difference, and throughout 2019 it hasnt obviously worked at all.

Counting up my losses, comes to over £8000. I did colours, started at £... and about 2 hours ago ended up at £... a spin. I was always thinking that it just needs to hit my number and I'm £... back up. It didn't happen.

I fear for the rest of my money. I have £8K left and now have all the new bills associated with living in a house. My job income is £1400 a month. 

I never thought I'd have to post here, but I now admitted to myself I have a serious problem and my money won't last a week at this rate. I need to stop, I need to get it in my head that gambling is never the answer and nor is chasing loses.

It isn't too late for me to move on from this and rebuild, but I need help. I still want to stick £... on a colour right now. Any help is greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Think of it this way. You still have £8k left and an income. Why do you want to put it all down to a colour? You’re better than that. Even if that colour comes in, you won’t feel relieved or happy. In fact it will just reignite that desire to gamble more. Let’s accept we have made huge mistakes but let’s not make them worse. See your challenge as working your a** off to pay those bills and make a living using the £8k and your income. Keep your peace and sanity by not gambling, it will do nothing but make things 100x worse, weather you win or lose! 
Try to stay connected with reality. Roulette is a fantasy! 

If you don't quit the matched betting, you will not quit gambling, simple as that.

Ravlioki only time can heal wounds, but you need to forget about the losses.

Money is just an energy, it will come back to you eventually another way, but only when you forget about it.