HI everyone.
Been posting for a month now but i want to share my story tonight so thankyou in advance for reading.
My life has always been a struggle even before i started gambling.
I have Tourette's syndrome, Aspergers and OCD. I also suffer from severe bouts of depression due to the above.
I am 35 yrs old and I first gambled when I was 32 (i went through my teens and 20's without placing a single bet. It was alien to me).
3 years ago I thought I had turned the corner. Despite all my previous struggles which included Homelessness, Hostels, inability to hold down employment etc etc I secured full time employment which i was sustaining, nice flat, depression had lifted and i was doing ok.
Then one night on the lash with my mate he suggested we finish the night down the casino. That was the start where it all began.
What started out as a social thing every fri night progressed with me going down there midweek on my own. for me it was all about the roulette( ive read that people with aspergers can be attracted to certain things)
I started breaking the golden rules. taking my cash card with me, spending what i couldnt afford and going down there too much. I look back now and realise i was displaying problem gambling symptoms within 6 weeks. Thats how pre-disposed i was to it!!! then come the usual horror stories!!!
lost my job and my flat and ended up back on the streets. I then discovered the FOBT's in the bookies and things went from bad to worse.
I spent a year and a half on the streets bang at it. Selling the big issue and begging in and out of hostels and campsites in a total numb mess.
In June 2012 i had reached my rock bottom. I was in the grip of it and i had experienced the emotional rolercoaster. anguish, despair, turmoil and suicidal thoughts.
I knew I had to do something about the mess i was in so i phoned Gamcare (the number had been stored on my phone for months)
they suggested i go to my local GA meeting which i did. Fast forward 20 months and im still in recovery and i will be for the rest of my life. I attend all my meetings and apart from a few small relapses i have been mainly gamble free for 20 months. Its been 12 wks since my last bet but i know im in a better place for what ive learned at GA and on this forum. I will have to stay focused and try,try,try for the rest of my natural life to stay off gambling but its a challenge im up for. Thanks for listening x
Ben.
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