I stopped drinking 19 years ago but never stopped gambling.
I have spent about £200,000 on gambling from frequent trips to Las Vegas (£10,000 a time put on credit cards) to Internet Poker. That’s about 4 years salary
I lost £30,000 to £40,000 on internet poker over a few years but after a major event at home ‘came clean’ and stopped about 18 months ago. Had anti gambling soft ware installed and so wanted to end all the misery it brings.
Now my partner went abroad a few weeks ago for a few days re work and I started playing poker on line again on a different lap top.
The worst thing that has happened is I am ahead at present.I just know from bitter experience it doesn’t matter if I £2,000 ahead I’ll play bigger games and against better players. I lost £300 on one hand in a cash game.
Its sick.
I know its not normal to go downstairs (my partner a deep sleeper) and play all night and then go to work without any sleep. Then try and get off work by saying someone is ill so I can go home play all day (when partner is around).
My partner of course would leave me if she found out.I can’t believe how the addiction has just kicked off big time.
I am telling myself when I am only £1,000 ahead I’ll quit for good that’s sick.
Winning is poison. It feeds the irrational mind's belief that there is a reward out there.
Winning is a lie. There is no reward. In the long run there is no winning.
It's better to walk away from that positive balance than to play it another minute. Cashing out is okay, but just walking away is fine. Because the more likely outcome is losing not just your positive amount but going way negative. That's just how the game works.
Step away from the computer, sir. Just... step away... and nobody gets hurt. Can you leave the computer at somebody else's house? Put it in your locker at the gym and leave it there? Box it up and mail it to yourself? Drop it off at the repair shop "it needs more memory" ? And for just one night get some real sleep instead?
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You say your 7k up, you forgetting the 400k you lost previously, walk away give the 7k to your wife and admit your slip, lying is as bad as being decieptful, be honest come clean and don't gamble.....
How are you doing, Stewpots? Please come back.
Sounded to me as if you were posting from the depths of hell and I would really like to hear that you have managed to get a night's sleep and maybe some peace of mind. Every hour not gambling is ammunition for your arsenal to start to win this war.
Dogfan's advice was v good.
Remember we are all here for you and you're not alone.
FF
Need to second what others are saying, you are not alone, please re-post to say how you are, it sounds like a nightmare for you but we all understand.
Step away from the computer, sir. Just... step away... and nobody gets hurt. Can you leave the computer at somebody else's house?
Well i have lost another £30,000 and am back. 75% on line slots 25% on line poker. Spent £1,900 winnings in one day. Playing in car at work . Play to 5am get up 6.30am to go to work. 8 days now without gambling. I must have blocked myself from 20 sites but i know that isnt the answer. A horrible illness.
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Yes I am rooting for you too despite my self pity tonight. Wonderful post Alain.
Thanks. This is a amazing illness. In 2013 nearly all my gambling was poker and if i won i would play cash games and lose £1,000s . play to 5am get up 6.30am and go to work. Now more is slots and i think was poker a problem. 'was poker a problem'.... I think that now.............. yes i lost thousands and thousands.
Yes. And you can't win because you can't stop. I know that but it hasn't stopped me unfortunately.
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