It is some time since I last logged in here - my profile calendar has been ticking away and says 675 days since last gambled (what a lie so now reset to 0).  I thought I was on the slippy slope of slots addiction then - well multiply huge losses back then by 3 and that’s closer to the truth now.  Such a shocking amount of hard earned money just fed to machines.  if I started saving £*** a month now, it would take me 20 years to recoup what I have lost.  Between the age of 35 - 55 I was at the peak of my career and saved well for a fun retirement.  It has taken me four years of slot machine madness to waste the lot.  Now I am living on a ‘just enough’ pension and will need to keep finding other ways to earn a bit extra.  This is all very humiliating and I hate myself for sabotaging my life in this way. Â
This evening I gambled £*** in 30minutes on a particular volatile slot that is popular on the Equinox terminals at the moment.  Like watching paint dry and just one very lacklustre bonus.  This was just two days after spending £**** in there. Â
I remember the days when £10 felt like a lot of money! Since playing slots, the value of money seems to have eroded not just x10 but x100.  In the real world outside of gambling, just think what £100 could buy, or £500 or even £1000.  Slot machines devalue money - just becomes like playing with Monopoly money. Â
This is not a post about what I have tried (and failed) to do so far to prevent gambling or what I need to get a grip on recovery.  This post is pure pain on paper.  It is despair and a ‘how did it come to this?’
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I have only just joined and after reading your post I can truly relate to this. I feel ashamed and now feel scared if this continues. I don't feel like I've got any means of a way put. Do you have any advice please?
Keep going. Set a goal for 2024 and aim for a fresh start. I know it's easier said than don but a new year is a good psychology startÂ
You are so right!  Whilst the losses are devastating enough, the real fear is where would it end if I continue or can’t stop.
Advice … what has worked the best for me so far is a GenieHand safe that I lock my one and only card in to release only every week in case I need some cash - otherwise I pay for everything on Apple Pay.  No cash, no arcades.  Of course it has not been a one stop solution as I have still managed to smash and grab heavily in bursts but it was a preventative measure on many occasions.
I did dabble with online slots initially but soon signed up to 5 year Gamstop which is actually due to finish this Summer. Â Not foolproof either as there are nasty non uk sites that sometimes tempt but not often because withdrawal are near impossible so not really an urge. Â Gamban was great until I realised one day that it is easily switched off on iPhone
This is just one idea from me and I am also interested to read how others put blocks in place to help make space for recovery from this crippling habit.Â
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Thanks for the advice. Yes I signed up to Gamstop last night so getting emails informing me of my exclusions from some sites today. Feel relived in a way as then I can't go on them. I'm also going to ring to sign up to the one that excludes you from betting shops in your area.
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