It is some time since I last logged in here - my profile calendar has been ticking away and says 675 days since last gambled (what a lie so now reset to 0). I thought I was on the slippy slope of slots addiction then - well multiply huge losses back then by 3 and that’s closer to the truth now. Such a shocking amount of hard earned money just fed to machines. if I started saving £*** a month now, it would take me 20 years to recoup what I have lost. Between the age of 35 - 55 I was at the peak of my career and saved well for a fun retirement. It has taken me four years of slot machine madness to waste the lot. Now I am living on a ‘just enough’ pension and will need to keep finding other ways to earn a bit extra. This is all very humiliating and I hate myself for sabotaging my life in this way.
This evening I gambled £*** in 30minutes on a particular volatile slot that is popular on the Equinox terminals at the moment. Like watching paint dry and just one very lacklustre bonus. This was just two days after spending £**** in there.
I remember the days when £10 felt like a lot of money! Since playing slots, the value of money seems to have eroded not just x10 but x100. In the real world outside of gambling, just think what £100 could buy, or £500 or even £1000. Slot machines devalue money - just becomes like playing with Monopoly money.
This is not a post about what I have tried (and failed) to do so far to prevent gambling or what I need to get a grip on recovery. This post is pure pain on paper. It is despair and a ‘how did it come to this?’
I have only just joined and after reading your post I can truly relate to this. I feel ashamed and now feel scared if this continues. I don't feel like I've got any means of a way put. Do you have any advice please?
Keep going. Set a goal for 2024 and aim for a fresh start. I know it's easier said than don but a new year is a good psychology start
You are so right! Whilst the losses are devastating enough, the real fear is where would it end if I continue or can’t stop.
Advice … what has worked the best for me so far is a GenieHand safe that I lock my one and only card in to release only every week in case I need some cash - otherwise I pay for everything on Apple Pay. No cash, no arcades. Of course it has not been a one stop solution as I have still managed to smash and grab heavily in bursts but it was a preventative measure on many occasions.
I did dabble with online slots initially but soon signed up to 5 year Gamstop which is actually due to finish this Summer. Not foolproof either as there are nasty non uk sites that sometimes tempt but not often because withdrawal are near impossible so not really an urge. Gamban was great until I realised one day that it is easily switched off on iPhone
This is just one idea from me and I am also interested to read how others put blocks in place to help make space for recovery from this crippling habit.
Thanks for the advice. Yes I signed up to Gamstop last night so getting emails informing me of my exclusions from some sites today. Feel relived in a way as then I can't go on them. I'm also going to ring to sign up to the one that excludes you from betting shops in your area.
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
