So this is my first time ever posting. I’m a problem gambler. I’ve been gambling for the last 12/13 years and have lost hundreds of thousands of pounds. I have gambled my entire wages away on numerous occasions. I have borrowed money off so many people and never been able to pay them back. I have lost friendships, I lost my boyfriend and I have been so close to losing my family. My mum has on occasions helped and paid my rent to prevent me from being homeless and this has put an enormous strain on her as she doesn’t have much money herself. I have gambled wages, other people’s money. I have also gambled an inheritance. Any money I have I gambled.
When my November wages hit my bank, I thought like I usually do that I needed to win some money so that I would have enough to pay all my bills, debt and be able to eat. However, as usual I lost every last penny. My mum once again paid my rent to stop the eviction process (I’m already in a payment plan) and I have been off work for weeks due to the effects all this gambling has taken on my mental health. Tonight, well last night actually at 11.30pm I decided I have to stop. I’ve always wanted to stop but then had the fear that actually if I block my self from everywhere or can’t gamble then I won’t be able to win enough money to live on or pay my bills etc. It’s the irrational part of addiction and so I decided I wasn’t going to listen anymore. I rang gamcare and spoke to an advisor for half an hour. Once off the phone I just did it! I just went on my online banking and blocked all gambling transactions. I went on gamstop and registered with them for 5 years (which is the maximum) and then I went on online chat to gamcare and got the Gamban link.
I've finally done it. I’ve finally put everything in pace to make it impossible to gamble. We’ve also ordered a new bank card so that when it arrives my sister can scratch off the last three digits so I can still use my card to get shopping/petrol etc but I won’t be able to do anything online including gambling.
and finally I’ve just been accepted on to the Gordon moody retreat for women.
I can honestly say I have never been more proud of myself or happy but in the same breathe so anxious and terrified. I’ve done it. I am finally free from the gambling trap. I will never ever place another penny onto a gambling site ever again.
@charchar04 You seem to have done a lot in a short time, well done for that.
Can you shed some light on the Gordon Moody retreat? Why did you decide that you needed that rather than the other options first and when did you apply for that? Last night too or earlier?
It would be interesting to know so that I can mention it to others.
Thanks
Chris.
Well done char seems like your doing everything you can, it must have felt so hard after so long gambling but also a relief to get the blocks in and support. Im sure your mum will also be relieved
Lou xx
Hi Chris,
sorry my post probably didn’t make everything that clear. So I had tried gamblers anon in the past, visited my gp, had cognitive behavioural therapy and had given my banking access to my sister etc in the past. But nothing ever really seemed to work. I also don’t think I was ever fully ready to stop. I was too scared and so I applied to Gordon moody in November after I lost my entire wages. I had an assessment and then received a phone call to say I had been accepted by their panel.
As for everything else. It was almost like a lightbulb just went on last night in my head. After I once again had gambled some money I’d borrowed I just thought I can’t do this anymore. I’ve been so close, so many times to just downloading the blockers and joining gamstop but the fear has always stopped me. So whilst I was feeling really strong in those moments I just did it.
I’ve woken up this morning after only a few hours sleep but I still feel so elated I’ve done it. I’m not naive, I know I have a massive journey ahead but I just feel I have finally taken the proper first step.
Hi Lou,
Thankyou. I can’t tell you how many times I have tried and failed to stop gambling or the sheer amount of money I have lost over the last 12/13 years. I am at rock bottom in terms of money and in terms of debt but now hopefully I can start to formulate some plan to pay things back. It was terrifying doing it, as silly as that sounds but now they’re in place there’s no turning back and it’s kind of taken some of the worry away. xx
@charchar04 Good for you then. I hope it works out for you. Remember though, don't try to live your whole life in one go, just do it one day at a time. Whether or not GA worked for you, the principles around it are sound and make perfect sense.
All the best
Chris.
hi Charchar04
i may not know you but i am immensly proud of the steps you have taken to gain back control of the life that you deserve. have your sister create a ISA or savings account that has a seperate card with your bank then she can give you essential money into that account which you will have a card for say £10 per day for food/petrol, then all the other essential bills rent/gas etc will come out via direct debit on the account that your sister has the card too. this works as like yourself i followed the exact same steps, i have this system set up and it works, your sister needs to be strong willed and to let you know in no ucertain terms that if you spend that daily £10 you wont be getting more till the next day. it wors and in a year you will have saved up thousands as i have all the best. just do it and see!!!
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