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*** JUST A THOUGHT ***

When we first decide to go gambling free, there's usually a reason, we don't suddenly "decide to". More often than not, I would suggest, it's because we can't spend any more - the debts have hit a certain point, or there's simply no more money. Or, our loved ones my have stumbled on to the extent of our problems. Or other reasons. But normally, I would suggest, we have no choice but to stop. Let's hang on to that thought....

Here's what happens next. We become morose, self-loathing of what we've done, determined, in the fug of the misery that it's caused, to stop. Partly because there's no money left, and partly because we are actually quite desperate - we know, at this moment, that gambling is making us miserable, our loved ones miserable, everythings just horrible.

The first few days gambling free build up. Fairly easy - we're skint ("anyone can sail a ship in calm waters!") but still very bruised by what we've done.

Hopefully, in the fug we're in, we're taking some practical steps to shore up the position we're in so it doesn't get any worse. Handing over finances to friends and partners; self-excluding from online and land-based gaming companies, casinos and bookies. (If not - - - you should be!).

At this time, it's good to chat to Gamcare, phone them up, talk it through and start the journey to understand and get into the mindset of why we're gambling. There might be an underlying reason to undertand and rationalise; but it's always good to talk and communicate with others.

Anyway, the fug slowly fades just in time for the next infusion of cash - payday. And all of a sudden, things seem brighter. After being cashless for a what has seemed like an eternity - here's some more cash. All of a sudden all of our problems seem far away, just for a moment. And then, the gambling devil tries to whisper in your ear: You could make the money back you've lost you know... and ---- STOP.

STOP RIGHT THERE.

Here's the reality check. We know we cant win, because even if we do, we end up spending it and then some. So we always lose. So flick that devil off of your shoulder, pick it up by the shirt collar, open your front door and hoof it into kingdom come. (If you wish to holler a "message" then be my guest.)

So what do we do with that cash? Firstly, during this 'raw' time, make sure you can't get hold of it, or take steps to manage it responsibly (sorry, the trust isn't there yet).

Do we clear debts with it? Well, possibly, always clear what's costing you the highest interest first, that's always the best advice. if you're in too deep, though, it might be worth phoning StepChange. They'll help you pay the money back and get your life back on track. But, remember, you've got to stop to do this. If you take the StepChange route and still gamble, well, it's not going to end well. Try not to.

I started this thought saying we often 'stop' because 'we have to', but the truth is, we have a choice. And, when we think about it, it's not really a choice (between life and misery). I mean - who would truly choose misery?

So its no choice, really. We just want to live a 'normal' life, which is guaranteed to be a better life than a gambling one, because we know that always leads to misery, because we always lose (and become untolerable to others, waste time, feel terrible etc. etc. etc.)

When you realise that there isn't really a choice we can see that the one option we have - choosing life - actually means the pressure starts to physically lift from us. Yes, really! And, as time passes, the pressure eases further.

Because we are free! We are free from gambling the moment we stop. Willpower doesn't come into it; we can relax. We simply need to remind ourselves, every day, not to gamble today, because we know it's bad for us. Don't try to suppress thoughts of gambling; when you do, feel happy that you don't have to gamble any more! You are 'free'! Feel great about it. You don't have to do this anymore.Does it really make you happy? Is that semi-permanent anti-social grimacing and stern expession you put on really "enjoying yourself?"

Now yes, you might look back at times. That's fine, but don't dwell, don't stare. We are where we are, the future starts here. We can't rewrite history, but we can start to write the future. It won't be easy, possibly; you may have debts, relationship issues or a myriad of other challenges - but you're up for the challenge, right?

Just remember, you are free of gambling the moment you stop. Some people say life is 'boring' when you are gambling free. I say this; gambling your money away actually takes very little time; a months wage can disappear in a couple of hours. So what would you rather have? A 'bored' month being skint? Or a 'bored' money with some money in your pocket (even if you're servicing loans you'll have a bit of free spend). Look at it that way!

So.... treat yourself, give yourself a break, don't you deserve a break from all this? Yes, you do. Give the gambling a rest, give yourself a rest, relax and enjoy - yes, enjoy - being free. Then, tomorrow, ask yourself the same question: Do I want to be free again? Yes; so, just for today, I won't gamble. Every day, remind yourself, respect yourself - and your heart, body and soul will repay you back like you won't believe!

Feeling better? I think that's worth a gambling-free day in the bank - don't you 🙂 ?

Great post Mixer , saying it like it is with no frills . Our approach to recovery can be fairly straightforward if we don't complicate it .

I woke up this morning and made the decision that I won't gamble today , only 16 hours left of it so it should be achievable .

When I pass bookies I will just hope nobody comes out with a big stick and forces me inside

I know I don't have to be a slave to gambling . I am free to choose whether or not I gamble .

I accept that I will not recoup my losses but i can make sure I don't lose any more .

I hope I can be cool and focussed every morning , but I will concern myself with that when tomorrow comes along .

Thanks, Abstainer, and I like your thoughts in your reply

In the quiet of the morning, sipping a cup of tea, calming repeating those words can apply an instant coat of armour. I love the bookies/big stick line. We know no-one forces us inside, we can walk straight past, quietly reminding ourselves we're not going into that den of misery, "thank you very much". We smile as we walk past, because we don't have to go in, we don't want to go in - it's bad for us. It causes misery, because we can't win, because if we do, we give it back and then some more. We always lose.

And yes, agreed, let's look after today and live today.

As we know, tomorrow will come round soon enough (and, one day, it won't...!). So let's all enjoy today, look around, "smell the roses" and life a normal life, which is the life to lead.

Let's not deliberately create a rod for our own back, C'mon, everyone - we're better than that. We deserve better than that!

"Today, I'm not going to gamble. I don't want the misery !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "

Loving the posts on the forum they are great to read.

That walking past the bookies or casino moment is one to be enjoyed, because your showing them who's in control. By not going in its a signal of power, freedom and will to live a happier and gf life! All the time that was spent there, is now reinvested into much more interesting projects and activities which give you real rewards and allow you to feel real emotions - its crazy!

Some of the emotions are a little overwhelming sometimes, as previous emotions were buried by spending hours gambling so we supressed them and never had to contron them in the same way we do. This isnt always nice (depending on the emotion) but important in adjusting to a gf life, and starting to feel free and live the good life.

Hope you all are having a woderful gf day.

Athena

Doing an excellent job handling The Guru Challenge Mixer.

Good to see Athena1991 getting involved.

I like the influx of ideas you bring to the forum Mixer. New ideas can create progress and progress is needed for positive change.

You are very open and welcoming to new ideas which in turn leaves the challenge open to growth.

Stephen's 'Ode to Mixer' post was indeed brilliant, noted the sharp response from Mixer and liked Stephen's reasoning as much as the poetry. Good exchange.

Thought I'd add a couple of P's:

'Perseverance' is my favourite.

Next one bit of an offshoot of perseverance in some ways and one I struggle with so always recognise: 'patience'.

Do like 'pragmatism' a lot. Well chosen without being obvious. Will make people think.

I'm sure like most people upon seeing the word 'pragmatism' my initial thought was how difficult it would be to put in a haiku...

Thought to not exist

Winning method is now found

System pragmatism.

Hi Glint

I very much enjoyed your considered post, and your additions to our 'P' word repository. Perseverance - a very important attribute which has moved me, following your excellent haiku, to incorporate it into that well-loved poetic device - the limerick!

Here goes. Ahem...!

There once was a chap quite traumatic

T'was gambling, time to be pragmatic

But did he persevere -

Day-to-day to get here!

He’s living a life - and ecstatic!

For any ladies reading, please feel free to change the protagonist in the first line from 'chap' to 'girl' (or 'gal'). It still works, keeps the assonance 🙂

Back to your post, thank you for your kind comments, and yes, I agree with you entirely that this thread needs to keep fresh, evolving and of genuine value and comfort to all readers. We have a great group here and a relaxing, underpinned by a steely determination, atmosphere. A bit like a lounge with comfy chairs dotted around; but never forgetting our raison d'etre 🙂

Looking forward to further posts, Glint. A sonnet, perhaps? 🙂

Let's keeping strong, everyone, as we really get into September proper.

The next rollcall's on Sunday, we are 21-strong, lets see if we can achieve 147 days Gambling Free between us !!!

If we think we can, then we can.

Have a great day!

I'm back to day 0 - very silly relapse! I let me personal circumstances bring me down and back the bookies! Time to refocus and start the counting again!

Hope everyone is having a wonderful and gf day.

Athena

Hi Athena

Awwwwwwwwwww!!! Really sorry to hear of your blip. We have to be so on our guard at all times... as we know it just takes a moment. But this is a blip right, you're "straight back in the saddle" 🙂

There's one thing you can do. Ban yourself from the bookies - and any others within a 2 mile radius AND others you might be tempted to frequent. It'll take 20 minutes and you'll have done a really positive thing there.

I like to think - when we fall, we get up STRONGER, with more gambling obstacles and extra, extra determination 🙂

Here's the number -0800 294 2060

As Mys. Doyle of Father Ted famously implored: Go on, go on, go on, go on !

With you all the way Athena.

Mixer

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Erm, checking in. 163 days gamble free.

EDIT: I lied! Day 164. Days going by so fast. 🙂

Day 29 here.

How's everyone getting on, feel free to check in if you'd like to 🙂

Best wishes to all the Guru Challengers , hope your all living the dream . Would be good to try it after living the nightmare .

Clocking in with 120 Days GF , wondering who I am , where i'm going and who are all these people who keep passing me by ! seems to be thousands of them ! Gets crowded as I pass the bookies , the pavement is obviously not designed for me walking along shoulder to shoulder with all my gamcare friends .

Loved your limerick Mixer but when I googled that and sonnet I was in over my head. I always thought a limerick was a witty ditty rhyming with good timing , but it's a lot more structured than that .....stephen

Checking in on day 12 .......Glad to say still gamble free,things are a struggle but trying to stay positive and on the right track

20 Days gambling free...feeling good..joined a gym and no thoughts at all about betting.

Checking in 42 days gf xx