Hi any advice from people would be amazing. I've got a problem with gambling, have done for years but only really admitted it 6months ago when my girlfriend found out all the trouble i was in. I've been to counselling sessions that massively helped me, I didn't think about gambling and was so fixed on getting sorted and clearing my debts.
But in this time I have caved in twice, most recently today which is why I'm here. I go weeks without thinking about a bet then boom I do it thinking I have control and I've just blown £700 in the matter of minutes. My girlfriend is my absolute world and has been there through it all but every time I screw it all up again, ruin her trust and break her into a million pieces. It kills me but I cannot help what I'm doing and when this happened the last time she told me if it happened again we were done.. well it has happened and I'm dreading her finding out, which she will soon.
Just when things look good again, clearing lots of debt, working hard and building our relationship up again I ruin it all. I'm at breaking point, I don't wanna lose my girlfriend but i know she is better off without me!! I've had the counselling, banned myself online and had ni control of anything but slowly I gain the control back and I think that's the problem.. how long do I have to go without a bank card or access to money...
I have such a great life, good job, amazing friends and family, own out flat and am ridiculously in love with my girlfriend.. but I keep doing this and it can't carry on.
In addition to that I can never deal with the problem once it happens, usually I drive off and leave everyone worried about what I may do.. I'm not going to do that this time but I can't go through the heartache I'm going to cause her again. Weve not long booked a holiday that we agreed would only happen if I stop gambling and pay off some debts. Now look I've spent all of the holiday money and some in a stupid moment that i regret more than anything! It's so hard explaining to my girlfriend, telling her I've screwed it again and that I should just go and watching her cry over and over makes me want to give up on life. Seeing her so upset should be enough never to do it again and the worry of losing her but clearly the gambling still overrides everything in my life and I think of nothing about gambling when I'm doing it. Should I pack my bags and go to realise what I've done, what I have and what I'm going to lose..?
Hi there
Sorry to hear this. Firstly no, dont pack your bags. You may need some time to yourself to register what has just happened. But all is not lost. Its not your fault you have been sucked in to the hell hole that is gambling. Your girlfriend has been supportive in the past so why would she not now? She said that she would walk away but she may not mean it. Yes, she will be upset, angry, distant maybe but if you work together you can get through this. Make a plan of what you intend doing to stop this once and for all. It may be that you will never be able to have your own bank card again - so what? It is for the sake of your relationship, future and life. We all deserve to have a fullfilling life and sometimes obstacles get in the way. We have friends and family to support us through the rough times and for you, the fact that you had a moment of madness has triggered this despair you are in, and you need help.
I would look at getting some more counselling, handing over all your finances, bank cards, account to your girlfriend. Self exclude yourself form the site you just lost the money on to stop the temptation of trying to get it back. Ring the bank and tell them to stop your card. Take up a hobby, do some voluntary work - anything to keep your mind busy. Let your girlfriend know how serious you are about this. Its not going to be easy and brace yourself for a few meltdowns, confrontation and tears but you can and will come out the other side.
Best of luck to you and I hope you sort things out.
Tough one but don't do anything silly
Jo jo thanks for the response.. she doesn't want to leave me but cannot keep going through this every few months especially will everything going on with her family. Just feel like the worst person in the world crushing her over and over and I just feel like there's no end to this ever. I'm going to do alot more this time to ensure I'm getting the right help, and make sure there is no way I can cave in a gamble again!! I dont wanna be like this but I can't help it, it's a disease not an addiction, it takes over me and there's nothing I can do..
Today I'm going to call ny counceller and start that again, then exclude myself from all the local bookies.. have to prove that this is the last time we're gonna be in this s**t situation and that I hand on heart do want to be okay again!!!
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