Lapsed and ashamed

Hi Micky

It is disappointing but no real damage done. I used to think I could still go in the shops but not gamble but after a while it got too tempting so I just self-excluded.

They are not nice places anyway usually frequented by wasters and losers who have nothing to show for their hard work - not always, but usually. If you do go in again take a look at the old men in there and ask yourself if you want to end up like them?

You did well and are doing well - the win may encourage you to go back for more so it I were you I would self-exclude before more disappointment comes your way.

Well done on how well you are doing and stay strong.

Dave

Hi Micky, well done for the effort and committment you have made so far.

I gambled for twenty years, have stopped for six years, and my longest gamble-free period before that was when I relapsed after six months, roughly the same sort of time that you have.

It hollowed me out from inside and left me a physical and emotional wreck - I shudder when I think about it now. That was the final straw for me - I knew I couldn't go through that again.

There are two things you have to do right now my friend 1) Don't let this slip snowball - so many take it so hard that they hurtle into oblivion 2) Learn from it - this doesn't have to be a bad thing if you can take something from it, and it prevents you from doing the same thing again next time; imagine if this slip was your last, ever - it would turn from being a terrible thing, to one of the best things that ever happened to you.

It is always best to stay out completely, zero tolerance; these people live different lives, you don't have anything in common with them anymore - they are wasting their time when it could be spent doing something much more worthwhile; since stopping, I do charity work, I sing, write, go hiking and so much more - I regret the time I wasted far more than the money itself.

You are not alone my friend, I, and many others here, experience such confidence, free thinking and a relaxed attitude to life after gambling that it can lead to complacency, and complacency is a very dangerous thing. So many think they are cured, only to find themselves hurtling into oblivion in minutes - it is always there my friend, you are not built in a way that can handle it.

Well done again my friend. Pick yourself up, and look at this as "Part Two", not "Day 1" - you have been at Day 1 before and done well - now you have learned that you can't afford to be complacent, you can't allow yourself to let your guard slip. If you can take that on board and use it, then this would be a very postive mistake to make.

JamesP

Dave and James,

Thankyou so much for your kind words and advice. I realise that I can't gamble in a controlled way unlike some. I'm not arrogant enough to believe that I can win unlike some. Dave I took your advice without entering the betting shop I watched a few people enter and leave my local shop and you're right I don't want to be in their company. My friends (If they're friends) can meet me elsewhere and if they can't be bothered they aren't friends. James your philosophy that I now commence phase 2 makes me feel much better, I can (and will) learn from this, it's true I have become complacent, I now realise that I have to work at my abstinence and dedicate my time to thinking of those around me.

Thanks fellas

YFIR

Micky