Mentally cant get over my huge gambling losses

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Hi Midlifecrisis and charlieoscarluke,

It seems you are both dealing well with your losses and looking forward. I like the mental tricks a lot...very helpful. I also try to imagine that my debt was from a business that I set up which didnt take off (again no one would mind) or an expensive course in how to be financially more astute!

I am getting better everyday in "letting go." I think I am slowly coming to terms with my losses and finding making progress in paying them off (no matter how small) quite motivating.

Lets keep in touch with our progress.

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Letting go of the finacial loses seems hard at first (I lost a hell of a lot, not all my money either) but it does get easier and its crucial in recovery, when it comes down to it its nothing really, what is money ? when its lost its gone forever, I find letting go of the time wasted, chances wasted, trust lost and friendships etc lost far harder, the money means nothing compared to them.

Hopefully you haven't damaged them too much, If those loses are all you lose and teach you to stay away from gambling forever, consider it a bargain life lesson

good luck mate

I also struggle with this, despite the fact that over the past 4 years I've 'only' at maximum lost £10,000 or so gambling of my own money, I've been much higher with 'winnings' of course but obviously they were just temporary!

A huge amount of money of course but before I handed my finances over to someone else I was pretty much spending my monthly wage and beyond.

I think the main problem for me at the minute is mainly that my brain is trying to tell me to gamble but I'm fighting it back which it isn't used to at all and it is difficult, today for example I walked round town but couldn't actually bear to buy anything it just felt weird every time I tried to do so!

Why is it so hard to just forget about some blooming electronic machines which you know you're not going to win on!

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Hi Chaser,

Like the others say the money is gone! I'm facing up to paying my debts off. It can be frustrating to face the monthly repayment plans, but good god they are far cheaper than the amount I was turning over in bets on most days.

Try and look for positives, not negatives. Waking up every day and telling yourself you will not gamble today is a good start.

Reading this thread I can see you've grown stronger already. I quote something you wrote earlier....

" Also when I focus on how stupid I have been I try to switch my focus (as advised) to the important things in life (friends/family etc). Today I have thought about it much less and I think I am starting to accept my huge losses. I am also trying to be grateful for the things I do have in my life that are great (my lovely daughters and wife, house, car, job etc). Focusing on what I have rather than what I did have has been very useful."

These are great positive words. Say them everyday to yourself. Most of us on this forum have debts but some people have lost everything. I will never forget the upset I caused to my wife and myself when facing up to my addiction, probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life and something that I don't ever want to do again. There's a mental scare there to always remind me.

Speaking 1 to 1 with a long term GA member on my first meeting, opening up to a complete stranger, listening to his story also, something else I will never forget. Then attending GA meetings with all the ladies and gents in the same boat as me. All positive moves. I don't want to let myself down as I will be letting down many other people too.

With a strong mind you I'm sure you will make big strides forward. Life is full of ups and downs no matter which path we take.

Wishing you all the best.

Very inspiring thread to read. I guess loss is loss, and there's an element of grieving to be done while your head rounds the sharp edges off the whole experience. Time is a great healer too. Sounds like you need to forgive yourself also if you don't mind me saying. You never set out with malice in mind, or to create a situation that was ultimately a nightmare for youself. Why would you. I hope you you keep feeling better and more at ease with each passing day 🙂

Hey, was checking how everyone is getting on since posting re this thread? I had a relapse at the end of April and lost £1800 on an old online account I hadn't shut down...so stupid. I promtly closed the account and I am now 31 days gambling free and paid off £2k of my debt...just £18k left! Actually I now see this debt as a useful reminder of how damaging and costly gambling is. This sounds very obvious but when you truly realise that gambling gives you NO pleasure you start to think why do it? So many people mistaking believe they actually enjoy gambling when all it is doing is making you miserable and depressed. This has really helped me quit so when I get an urge to gamble I remind myself that I am not getting anything out of it, the odds are against me so why place a bet. I hope you are all making good progress with battling this horrible addiction.

Sorry to say I am back again! Last week I just thought I have now got some money saved and a little go on fobt's won't hurt...how wrong was I. I really can't handle losing money and can't except a loss. I lost £800 which then turned into a £6000 loss because I wanted to "win back"my original £800...what an idiot!

The weird thing was I really didn't care when I relapsed, I just thought f**k it. Now I don't understand why I felt like that. Although I am more determined than ever to stay gambling free. An expensive lesson learned hopefully.

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So true

PlasticDream wrote:

Letting go of the finacial loses seems hard at first (I lost a hell of a lot, not all my money either) but it does get easier and its crucial in recovery, when it comes down to it its nothing really, what is money ? when its lost its gone forever, I find letting go of the time wasted, chances wasted, trust lost and friendships etc lost far harder, the money means nothing compared to them.

Hopefully you haven't damaged them too much, If those loses are all you lose and teach you to stay away from gambling forever, consider it a bargain life lesson

good luck mate

So true

allainepo wrote:

Hi chaser, I got to that f##k it point also, it's a very dangerous place to be in. At times it feels like it can be ok as you can cope with bigger losses but that is the point, the losses do become bigger and bigger until they are so big the crushing huge debt is upon you which is not so easy to live with. I got so bad i got to the point of winning and losing thousands every day and thinking easy come easy go which led to a monumental loss and near suicide. I hope you can get some gambling blocks in place which will buy you some time if you do get a gambling trigger and like all sick people get yourself to see your GP and talk everything over with them and stay on here even if you think you are over the worst. It is a battle for the rest of your life so stay here and help others battle too, oh and change your screen name as chaser is a bad name, do not go down the chasing route you have to forget the lost money and start living a gamble free life. All the best to you and everyone

I have online blocks so can't gamble on my laptop or phone. But I drive a lot for work and I drive past a bookies and thought f**k it. It was like a rebellious act to myself after doing so well, very strange. I am lucky as only lost money. It friendships, partners etc. The lesson learned is I can never bet again as I am very competitive and can't handle losing so ending chasing loses. Should really understand that I shouldn't except to win on roulette when the game is designed for you to lose! Thanks for the comments so far, all thoughts on this are very much appreciated and valued.