Mentally cant get over my huge gambling losses

Hi

im new to this and I understand everyone on here have probably had it a lot worst than I have but I just thought maybe hearing about other people experiences and how they got past them might help me.

I have recently lost around £5000, I had won this in the first place but it does not make it any easier to accept that I have lost it all when I think of everything I could have brought and say for instance took my family on a nice holiday etc! I feel like a complete failure when I look at my family and I'm wondering when I'm ever going to get over this. The gambling side of it I don't think is a major issue as since I've lost it I've not even thought about betting again (I know as time goes on I could be tempted again which I would have to deal with when it comes) but at this moment it's how I live with the feeling! Only a year a go I went through depression and this sort of thing is making me feel just like that did and I really don't want to go back to that place.

any advice or anything would be truly appreciated.

Thanks

chaser1508 wrote:

Hi charlieoscarluke. Sorry to hear that your in a similar situation as me. Yes your correct you have to have hope...also we must look forward and not back. We can't change what's happened but we can change our future by making better choices. Also I read that the dalai larma was asked if he could give only one bit of advice only from all his years of wisdom what would it be. He said "let go, let go, let go." This hit home with me and I try and think of these words when my thoughts go towards my past gambling/debts and it really helps me.

That quote inspires me too. Letting go is hard but so worth it!

i feel very inspired after reading all these messages. I have lost a total of about 9k in the past 3 weeks or so yesterday being the last straw after loosing 3k., not to mention what i lost before in the past. i have always kept my loses to my self and never opened up about it to anyone. i have finally managed to confide in my girlfriend and it feels like i have shrugged off a huge burden. after reading all these posts i have come to admit and accept that i have a gambling problem and am determined now more than ever not to allow it consume me but rather remind myself of the dire consequences gambling can cause in ones life. lets beat this addiction together ones and for all! TO GAMBLE IS TO LOSE!

Yes there are some great posts and messages in here. Kojo I am so glad you have took the brave step and told your girlfriend. It is so hard to tackle this addiction on your own and having support will really help. My debt is going down and although it is a pain to keep paying out every month it is a useful reminder of the huge damage gambling caused me. I can see the end in sight (being debt free) and that is really motivating. "Letting go" of the past and focusing on what I can change going forward has been the key for me. You can beat this!

To date I have lost £145k gambling roughly. I gambled it, lost it, won it back and lost it again. The last time I lost it, I was trying to do a good thing, buy a small flat for someone ill and important in my life and use it as collateral to buy another for myself. Due to nature of work I do, a mortgage was difficult to get and needed more of a cushion to make it all viable. I had a short time frame to make it all happen and back to the gambling was the 'quick fix' I thought I needed to make it happen. I ended up losing most of it again and now I have nothing to show for it and disappointed important people in my life. If you win big, walk away and dont look back, dont make same mistakes I did. House always wins. Now I sit and cant forgive myself for what I did and the missed opportunities I could have had. I have hit a real low in my life and trying to get out of the vicious cycle, its hard but its one day at a time, I dont gamble on casino sites anymore and the savings I do have left I do not even contemplate risking. I budget myself and although I have debt my savings cover it. Everything happens for a reason , a friend told me that, its a shame it happened in my case for the wrong reason, losing it.

I like the thought of a relapse being a kick up the a**e rather than a reason to keep gambling. I can’t get my head round why I gambled again. I know I will now take it as a warning and will be positive every day I don’t gamble

Seasoned...if everything happens for a reason then maybe losing that money proves to be the moment that you decide to quit for good? Then (with time) you can look back on it as the best loss you ever had. Its fortunate that you can service the debt and you haven't gone to the extremes of bankrupcy etc. I use the monthly debt payments as a reminder of how damaging gambling is and that bit of monthly pain helps me from gambling again. Wishing you all the best with your journey

Hi
I'm new to this forum.l just want to share my horrible gambling experience which brought me to losing every thing I had and being on the streets with my family.
It also starred back in 2007 when I first joined online roulette.At first I was up 4k and cashed out and called it a day.I was debt free and mortgage free. Then in the pursuit of becoming rich over the next 12 months playing online roulette I had incurred a debt of 97k which I had to remortgage my house for.i was at the Rock bottom of my life my family didn't know it was a dark secret which till today I lived soley with it..over the next 10 years I worked hard stayed Gambling free brought my debt down to 40k was happy and then in Dec 19 2017 decided I want to win back what I lost 10 years I stared online roulette again..At the starting I was up 13k and feeling good but sadly over the next 4 weeks I lost 30 k savings and remorgated my house for another 35k ..in debt again 75k and the savings..my advice to anybody would be NEVER chase your losses you can't win them back..its gonna be hard for me to recover now am 10 years old than I was when I lost 97k but therez always hope and light at the end of the tunnel..Feel s##T at the moment but will try to stay positive

Hi Lost it all,

well done for coming on the Forum and being open about your gambling story. Your experience is a good reminder that even if you haven't gambled for ten years, things can escalate really fast in a short space of time.

I would strongly recommend that if you haven't done so yet, get in touch with our Helpline 0808 8020 133 or our Netline here to speak to one of our advisers to get some advise on strategies you need to put into place to protect yourself from further gambling related harm.

If you would like to start your own recovery diary you can do that her:

http://www.gamcare.org.uk/forums/recovery-diaries

Just click 'New Topic' on the top of the page and you're on your way.

Wishing you all the best with your continued recovery.

Eva

Forum Admin

Hi Lost it all

Thanks for sharing your experiences buddy. You must be going through some terrible feelings and tough times.

You are so very right in your advice about not chasing the losses. What’s gone is gone. Tough pill to swallow but it is what it is. I do wish you a rewarding recovery - I know it will be tough but there is still hope. Maybe something good that you have not expected will come out of this. Just ban yourself from every possible gambling avenue and hand over your finances to someone you can trust.

Just don’t look back. Let this be the first day of the rest of your life. Take it one day at a timd without being too hard on yourself. There is always some good that can come out of the worst situations.

Keep coming here. There are loads of stories - some worse than yours in which people have turned things around.

Wish you all the strength and courage my friend. We are all in the same boat and remember you are not alone.

I know debt is horrible, I logged on here as Jude14 but had a problem logging on, so I created a new account.

Unfortunately even StepChange was unable to advise me as I currently have a buy to let property. I have stopped looking for help with my debts. Instead I am living day by day trying to save pennies and in time (as long as I don’t relapse and gamble) I can clear my debts which are huge

Good and bad news...debt down from £55k 3 years ago to £9.5k now. Bad news after 339 days gambling free (so close to a year!!) I lost £5k in one day. I was ill in bed, very bored and wanted to kill time. Totally forgot I cant handle losing and will always chase any losses! £5k came from my savings so I haven't added to my debt which is a blessing. A hard lesson but a useful one to remind me how damaging gambing is and why I should never let my guard down. But now my target of paying off my debt by the end of this summer is not going to happen.

The purpose of the post is that I am going to focus on the things I can control and acheive moving forward. I have closed the account and I have set myself a target to reach a year of being gambling free and also be debt free at the same time...a double celebration. In the past I would have focused on the lost money, what I could have done with it and the feelings of being so stupid. But I cannot change or control the past so I determined to focus on how well I have done upto today and how next year will look being debt free!

Ive thought a lot about this and Ive been a credit controller. The money has to be put behind us and debts must not make us ill with stress.

Its not an easy ask but there is no soft chasing as I tried that in my head thinking I will carefully win it back tiny bit by bit...It doesnt happen because the money was lost in the red mist and it isnt coming back on easier odds. When we had a blow out the money is gone.

It makes it infinately harder knowing we have to get a certain amount back. The roulette wheel or fruit machine doesnt develop a sympathy complex and go easy.

debts can only be paid back at the rate we can afford. I think the stress of debt causes people to chase gamble. Thats what we do as compulsive gamblers ...we put our accomodation and everything on the line

I do feel though that the risk is then with the lender and we cant make ourselves ill. I refer to art videos where people have put a million pounds on a fire and it gives me some sense of perspective.

That in a sense is what I did with my gambled money. I flat out ignored the odds and thought it would all come my way on odds like 1.1000 or 1.500....... even at around 1.10 to win a few pounds I was flat out deluding myself with every spin.

The most dangerous thing about the addiction is the thought that we have just lent it to the bookies and its coming back on Monday. I was compulsive and out of control..once it reaches that point its a deeply dangerous illness.

Ive been bankrupt and there is life after bankruptcy. I do know the pressures and Im not suggesting people run from it. Im just saying it has to be put behind you and the debts have to go on a repayment schme which is affordable and reasonably unobtrusive.

Best wishes to everyone on the forum

chaser1508 wrote:

Thanks Balvaird for your wise words. I can service the debt payments it's just going to take many years to clear. I understand that others have lost homes and houses etc...so I guess I mustn't be too hard on myself? Yes chasing losses is what got me into this situation. I realise that even if I won all that money back I would probably lose it all again the next day! Have you just accepted that you will be paying off debt for years?

Hello all, first time on the forum.

This is in regards to "wasteofmoney"s post.

I too did the exact same thing a few days ago. I only spent 50 of my own money and then won 2k... I turned that 2k into 34 THOUSAND!! in a matter of hours. I transferred some and played with the rest. At $125 a spin you can quickly see how fast my 34k was about to be gone but I thought I can get it back it's fine I came this far. 2 more hours past and the 34k is now 12k and I'm chasing losses with every spin. I'm still up a considerable amount of money but for some reason I keep spinning and losing. The money I had transferred already I had canceled the pending transfer and starting spinning again till I was left with 0..... this all happened with a single 50 note and I could have taken out 34k and paid creditors and took my fiance on a expensive trip but I never and I cannot accept the loss... it's the fact that i could have done so much with that money but now it's all gone. I haven't eaten in 3 days and it seems like this is the worst mistake I ever made and I cannot stop thinking about how irresponsible I was. Any help would be appreciated guys and I've read everything so far and wish everyone the best. I just cant stop thinking about what could have been. And I'm already thinking about dipping into savings to see if I can win again