New here, Please help

Hi S, welcome to the Forum and well done for posting what you have here,

I gambled for about twenty years before stopping over five years ago.

It took me a very long time to involve others with regards to helping me; that is something I regret because these issues are a lot for one person to carry around on their shoulders.

There is also the risk of them finding out by their own means or by accident, which would be far worse than you being up front with them; they may have their suspicions already - you might be good at keeping things quiet and hidden, but they may be better than you think about finding things out for themselves.

If you can't bring yourself to tell them, then use it as a catalyst to stop once and for all - if you carry on, then it is quite likely that you may have no choice but to come clean, probably sooner than you think. There is also the option of GA if you want to have communication that way - it is very liberating to be around others who have walked some miles in your shoes.

Take some time to analyze yourself very deeply - what drives you to gamble? Is it boredom? The thought of winning? The thrill of the chase? Is there gaps in your life that you could fill with something life-affirming and fulfilling? Gambling is ultimately a self-destructive entity because you will always lose in the end my friend - find something where there is an actual end product, physically or emotionally.

Your stakes are higher than ever because you are winning more; this is because you chase the euphoria, not the money - your old, small, stakes won't give that to you once you start to win big. And that is always going to be the way - winning is more dangerous than losing because it will make you want more; you can't win in the end though because you can't stop.

Draw a line under what has happened S my friend. There are a lot of open doors aged 27 - push yourself to go through them; the alternative is being here in another seven years, aged 34, where it is very likely that others will be suffering as a result of your actions.

You are better than that - you seem like a decent, honest person; you deserve more.

JamesP

Hi S - Well done for taking that big first step.

I urge you to visit this site as much as possible because here you will find sound advice, support and encouragement in your battle with this terrible addiction. I am only on Day 11 of being gamble-free but already feel so much better and so will you. Good wishes.

Joanna

Hi James & Baggins, thank you both so much for you replies.

Day 2 today of being gamble free, i feel so much more relaxed, but....i do keep thinking about the amount of money i lost 🙁 i am going to work hard to repay this debt, but for some reason today i just keep thinking about it, but i guess if i just keep telling myself i can get this debt repaid by working hard, then start a fresh at the end, all should be good 🙂

Last night i was deep in thought looking at both my parents and my partner, thinking there is a part of me that you don't know about, once i am over this addiction i can hopefully get rid of this horrible guilty feeling that i have hanging over me, i feel like a bad person & rather pathetic to be honest.

But....on a positive note, onwards & upwards, whats done is done, i can make my life better, the power is in my hands 🙂

change, you are not alone . i totally understand how you feel.

im 25 and having gambling for 7 years just like you. 2 days ago i got paid and gambled away all my wages on black jack online. like that wasnt enough i went as far as STEALING the money that my cousin left in her drawer ,went to the bookies to the bookies.. well i guess we are familiar with the outcome. this not the first time have done this to her, this is the third time . shes very upset with me and dont even wanna look at me. i cant blame her, i know all the trust she had for me is gone. the messed up thing is that,i knew how bad she needed that money and i still went ahead and did that to her. today i asked myself on simple question was gambling all worth it . the answer is NO!

i have said to myself time without number that i will stop all to no avail. now i have told my family about my promblem aside from thier suspicions. they are very dissapointed in me but they also ready to support me as long as i seek help.

i have had enough of gambling and i know the only way i can WIN is to stop and i believe that i can and will STOP. i say this because we as humans,we are built to rule over our emotions and not the other the other way round.

the road to recovery is gonna be full of all forms of temptaions but if you put your mind to it, theres nothing that you cant achieve.

none of us was born with gambling gene in our DNA which means that we have power to rule over it and not let it rule over us.

you just got to believe in yourself that you can do it.

i'm gonna seek in all avenue that i can get. today im going to a GA meeting and have got a one on one with a counsellor next week.

this is the first step to recovery and i really hope this is going be the beinning of good things to come.

stay strong young lady and keep your head up.

Welcome. Well done for joining the forum and starting on the road that is recovery. It is a huge step and you will find lots of support and understanding.

I am on day one after a relapse so I am not about to tell you this journey is plain sailing. I too have managed to keep my gambling a secret and will warn you that attempting to recover in secret is exceptionally difficult. I choose to persevere in isolation but would suggest you think carefully if there is someone in the real world who could help. I have a diary which helps (feel free to pop by if you need to chat) and have put a block on my laptop and pc so that I cannot gamble online. There is lots of advice on here on here from people more qualified than I to give it. Best of luck in your recovery.

Good Morning all,

Day 3 today of being "clean" last night i was so tempted to tell my partner about my problem but couldn't bring myself to tell him, i think it would break his heart, and i love him to bits and don't want to do this to him. So now i am even more determined than i was 3 days ago to sort this problem out. I have a debt of 5k, i don't have the best job in the world, so ive sat down and worked out that i can repay £200 per month to this debt, so in just over 2 years i will be debt free, that made me feel a little better, because if i carry on gambling that 5k debt could turn into a 50k debt, i think i have now finally realised (took me long enough i know) but the only winners here are the bookies and these online sites! I have to stay strong and will stay strong and get this horrible bug out of my system for the sake of my sanity and my loved ones.

Well done change!, your so right that £5k could turn into £50k. I was around £7/8k in debt and heard about a friend who was £25k in debt and that actually made me think I can carry on, borrow another £5/10k to get myself clear but now my debts have doubled. I have been clean almost 50 days and that debt is coming down so the sooner you stop the better. Only one winner and that's the bookies no matter what 'strategy' people think they have (like me) we cannot win because we cannot stop.

well done change! ,the only way to beat this illness is to stop .we all know that . no matter how big or small the temptation is, dont give in because life only gets better without gambling and the debts only go dowm.

went to my first GA meeting and it was very helpful.sat there listening to other like me sharing thier experiences and challenges the have all had to face just to get rid off this ill habit makes me know and believe that i can do it to i can be gamble free too. i just have to resist that urge and believe in my self that i can do it

Well done . Im new to this site aswell! Im 27 and started gambling on bingo sites only spending 20 occasionally. Then went onto slots and now I wager far to much . Spending 400 a time. I have closed all my accounts down and determined to stop for good. Im now into day 2 without gambling and starting to feel positive about it. I just hope I can be strong and kick this habit for good .

Hi well done on closing your on line accounts. Like you I’ve been having my head battered with on line gambling for years now. My problem was as soon as I closed one account I would open another account at a different on line casino and so the misery continued.

Nothing I did could stop me from placing that first bet. The only thing which has helped me is putting software on my pc to block my access to on line gambling sites. TXNogam cost me £20 and it’s the best £20 I’ve ever spent. You can get a free 28 day trial of it. I’m also going to GA which is helping. Hope this is of some use.

well done mark.. i hope it only get better from here onwards