Please help me.... does speaking to someone really help?

Hi Aimee08, it's very positive thing that you are back here posting, but sad that things haven't worked out for you.

The thing about speaking to someone is that few people understand what you are going through; by opening up to someone with experience or knowledge, you are not only going to have the ears of someone who understands and appreciates what you are going through, but it lessens the burden of what you are carrying every hour of every day.

It's difficult to understand how much help, and how liberating it is (especially GA, where you can talk to people who completely relate to what you are going through) until you actually experience it. If I were you, I wouldn't over-think it, and just do it because the more you think about it, the less likely you will do it.

You are not a monster Aimee08, gambling has made you do and say things that you wouldn't ordinarily. If they banned gambling worldwide tomorrow, you would almost instantly become how you were before you ever had that first bet - that is not going to happen, so you have to reach that place in your own mind.

Aimee08, my heart goes out to you my friend. I feel that you have your good and bad days, but then some days, everything you have learned from being part of this Forum since 2012, and everything you have been through, seems to go out of the window. You are not a bad person but sometimes, you bury your head in your sand and resign yourself to these urges which undo all your hard work.

These are what you must focus very, very hard on my friend - those seconds, those minutes when things get too much and you succumb. Learn to work your way through them and in time, they will lessen greatly and all of this will begin to feel quite distant.

You can get there; I gambled for 20 years before stopping over five years ago. It can and does happen, as it has for many people here. You may feel like you have fallen as far as you can go, but you and I both know that you can always fall much, much further.

The only way you can truly turn a corner is by accepting who you were, and what has gone before. And that is what you have to do my friend - accept that the money has gone and the only way you can justify it is by stopping for good, forever - if you carried on, that £40k, plus the other money, would seem like a drop in the ocean compared to what you could spend over the next ten or twenty years.

I lost two homes and two partners, as well as accumulating £350,000 worth of gambling debts. I was like you - desperate for answers, desperate for a solution - what you have to do is keep trying, everything, and find out what works best for you to stop you when you are feeling vulnerable. If you haven't spoken to anyone, then do it, and do it at the earliest opportunity my friend.

Aimee08 my friend, don't read this and bury your head in the sand as I said above. Start today, start tomorrow; concentrate and focus on rebuilding your life and put aside what has gone before because you can't change it. You are still a young woman with a huge amount of time to create a new life for yourself, one where you can be the person and the mother that you always wanted to be; you can get it all back and, not only that, achieve more than you ever would have before.

Sometimes you have to force yourself to make changes and face things head on; it's not easy but I am happier than I have ever been, and you can get there my friend, you truly can but you must work on this with everything you have, and maybe find qualities that you don't currently have.

JamesP

I am just reading back at my posts . I have been gambling stlll all these years and today enough is enough . Today is day 1 for me before I loose everything , I have 2 payday loans i need to pay off I need to stop before it gets worse it's going to be the hardest thing I've ever done but I'm going to give it my all this time once and for all !!!

Hi Aimee08,

Glad to here you are back and are now stopping! It will be hardbut it will also b te best thing you ever do, in a few years time when you are all away on a family holiday you will be so happy you stopped,

Best advice is to think ahead about what you can do with the money you now save instead what you have done in the past, I hit rock bottom this weekend when I lost £15,000.. It hurt so bad and I have to stop so I'm just trying to look at the positives that can come from it and not the negatives that have already happened,

DW28

Hi Aimee!

It's never too late.. it really isn't.

I'm 32 and have been a CG ever since I was 17, but by truly being honest to the person I love most in the world, I feel like the future is bright and that I can actually beat this illness. I've always told myself I could beat gambling if I really had to but over the last few years I've realised I can't unless I'm a) honest and b) accepting of my illness.

You need to flush out EVERYTHING with someone close to you and you will instantly feel the weight lift.

The money is gone and won't ever come back but as is mentioned above this will be a drop in the ocean if you beat your addiction and start to turn things around. All the things you think you've lost can come back in time so don't worry about that..

You can do it! Don't let the past get in the way of your future..

Good luck..

You never used to be a decent woman, you still are. Gambling has you know and will make you feel c**P about yourself, it doesnt care about you, it thinks your great in fact it wants to show you look increase your stakes and you might win this massive jackpot, oh look you was so close if that 5th reel had come in you would be minted, unlucky, keep trying. Two kids put all your energy into them find the way that you can beat gambling and never go back. You have to want to never log in again, and you can do it.

Day 1 again .. Today I installed blocking software onto my phone I have banned over 18 sites through my internet provider. I’ve never done this before because I felt I had to win back what I had lost . It’s just ruined my life for the past 7 years and devastated those around me . I feel like this time I am really going to do it . I have realised that just willpower alone won’t stop me I’m too hooked so I’ve installed this today and I have made sure there is no way I can gamble on my phone or any other device in the house . I only gamble online I have no interest in bookies or scratchcards thankfully so I feel for the first time I might just beat this and be the mother to my 2 lovely girls and sort my messed up life out . I will keep posting as it helps me focus

Day 2 feeling weird not to get up and gamble straight away which I have done for past 7 years feels good and I am not craving it now so that’s good I pray this time I will do this

Day 2 night have felt a bit lost today not gambling I have money in the bank spent a lovely day with my friend and our kids sat in the sun . Got home to my partner drunk acting like he was angry putting us on edge but that’s nothing new when he drinks but feeling anxious about tomorrow but day one without gambling done . Spent the best day with my daughters fur ages not on my phone all time they are happy sleeping soundly beside me goodnight x