Hey. It’s been a long time since I was on here. I am an extreme binge gambler. I can go long periods of time and then binge gamble to stupid lengths. In my darkest days I did £4k in one night. On 2 occasions. I got myself into some right troubles and came here and attended meetings to get the help I needed. Iv had a couple of slip ups along the way but I’m in a much better place now than I used to be, however the gambler still lives inside of me. GamStop was a blessing for me. This is what stopped me going online gambling and chasing loses. Since my darkest days, I have paid most of my debts off and bought a house. But now I can’t afford to go down the gambling route anymore. I could literally loose everything. My Gamstop exclusion has expired and I got myself an online gambling account again. Just for some football bets for the euro. However I slipped into that casino again. I found myself xxxx up and I knew it was taking a hold of me again. I just wasted that xxxx and now I’m £50 down. Supposed to be going out treating my girlfriend tomorrow but blew the money i was planning to spend on a good day. I literally can’t be trusted with a gambling account. In the grand scheme of things, this is very small but it just worries me that something I thought I had dealt with and had control over is still always there inside of me. I can’t gamble because if I win, I just want more. If I loose, I can’t stop chasing. I don’t know why I have come here to post this, maybe I just needed to tell people that understand. I will exclude myself again and hopefully move past this relapse before I fall into that dark place againÂ
Excellent post. You've demonstrated in one post how easily this addiction can sneak up on you. Huge congratulations on realising this and hopefully putting a stop to it. Allot of the posts on here are either success stories or cries for help in the early stages of an addiction. You've shown the middle part of that journey. The tough part that gets forgotten. It doesn't matter how much control we think we can have, the demon is always there. I hope I'm strong enough to deal with it like you have. Make sure you get that GamStop back on and get back to normal life.
Thanks for your post.
Stay strong
Thankyou for the reply. I felt horrible this morning when I woke up allowing this to creep back up on me. I have set up my self exclusion once again and hopefully I take this as a warning. It can be so easy to slip back into this horrific addiction
@wishicouldstop. Well done mate. You woke up and realised what what happening.
Restarting Gamstop was an excellent move.
Have you spoken to your GF about the issue? Don't underestimate the help she can give you and she could really appreciate your being open and accepting support.
You may feel as though you are making yourself vulnerable in doing so but actually you are taking control and entrusting her to help which she may really appreciate.
Keep us posted and well done with the steps that you have already taken.
Thankyou for reading my post bean. No I didn’t tell her, I know that goes against all the advice on here and from what I have done in the past but I honestly feel this is out of my system now. I lost a small amount of money and managed to take control which is something I wouldn’t have done in the past. The blocks work for me and now I feel protected again and have had a reality check. If I do however fall further into the darkness I will reach outÂ
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