Rock bottom

Hi Dan and welcome to the forum.

My first advice is that you need to be determined to tell someone close who can help you protect your money and put on your blocks.

This takes more than willpower. You also need good help to make sure you abstain because its a very strong addiction.

You know you cant go on like this. You need financial advice and a full recovery to reset and heal your mind.

You have it all wrong about gambling because you crave a fix

The odds are not offering you easy money. They want your money and you know they are getting it Its a mugs game and a vice but we get hooked to it like a drug addiction. Thinking about money is consuming your life and you need to step back and focus on the simple pleasures in life.

I hope you can talk to your mum or anybody that will listen. you need to explain what you have been up to or try to explain because it will make no sense to them until you all understand addictive power.

Stop now before it gets any worse...because it will get worse if you carry on...dont give the sharks another penny of your money.

You can do it. You need to start learning NOW what you are dealing with. We have all been there so you are not alone. You will be feeling confused now because you have yet to fully understand what controls you

Best wishes for a gamble free life

You will find its consumed a lot of lives on this forum 

the obsession will fade after around 90 days of abstinence although relapse is also common at this stage via complacency 

in my experience most want a solution which solves their problem and allows them to continue gambling 

It doesn't quite work like that ,  you need to stop gambling for a prolonged period of time to notice any positive effects naturally most gamblers don't have patience and want an immediate solution so just go back to the problem and start gambling again 

break the cycle, let the obsession go , pay the debt sort your life out  

Hi Dan,

Its a shock isn't it when we gamble a bunch of money after promising to ourselves that we wouldn't do it again. Am nearly twice your age but my addiction didn't really get going until my late twenties. It has consumed me ever since, with relatively brief periods of calm at times.

The thing is, from what you say, things are not objectively that bad, though I appreciate it might not feel that way in the aftermath of another binge. Your debt totals are not huge and living on £400 for the month is completely doable. Ive made £40 last a month before. It just depends on your life style I guess. You gotta adjust to suit your situation. 

I could ramble on here and in essence I agree with what has been said. Things to do may include.

1. Acknowledge to yourself that you have a serious addiction and that you cannot win because you cannot stop.

2. Take some practical measures to make it hard for yourself to gamble e.g limiting access to money, registering with gamstop, blocking software, self-exclsuions from land based gambling places etc etc.

3. Phone your creditors. Explain the situation. If you can pay the minimums then continue to do so. If you can't then tell them. They will freeze interest, reduce payments etc. I think your priority debts are those to friends and family. Again talk to them. Work things out.

Your not alone. Iv'e been doing much as you describe for many years. I'd probably swap places with you, especially knowing what I know now. Remember its a progressive problem. If you think things are bad now, it could get a whole lot worse.

Do what you have to do to stop yourself gambling and find other ways to pas time. Sport? Exercise? Study?

All the best.

Hi Dank,

I'm sorry to hear of your pain. It is highly relatable given what I went through in the past. You are not alone.

As someone who has been on the recovery journey for quite awhile now and who has had some success, I want you to know that the key to beating gambling is having in place effective barriers between you and gambling, so that even when you get an irresistible urge to gamble, the barriers are there to stop you from acting on your urge. Importantly, never rely on willpower alone. It will just lead to relapse after relapse.

Speaking of barriers, if you gamble online, I highly encourage you to contact all the services that enable you to deposit money into online casinos and request that they permanently ban you from their services. This is a super effective barrier to put in place to prevent future relapses. Online casinos are infinite, but the deposit enablers are just a handful. Doing this has really helped me (I’m now 2 years gamble-free).

Email template you can use:

Subject heading: Request for permanent account ban.

Hi there,

Please immediately and permanently ban me from using your services. I have been using your services in ways that are not good for my wellbeing. I would like that to stop and having my account permanently banned is an essential step. Thank you for taking my well-being seriously and doing as I have requested.

My information is as follows: [insert the relevant info such as account name or the email you have associated with them or, in the case of ****, the email you use to make **** transfers]

Sincerely,

[Insert your name]

Other effective barriers include:

1. Self-exclusion from land-based casinos.
2. Having an accountability partner whose opinion of you you care about. You don’t want to disappoint them, and this acts as an emotional barrier to gambling.
3. Softwares like Gamban, Coldturkey, Betblocker, ScreenTime on iphone (get someone else to set up a password so you can’t alter the settings once they’re set)
4. If need be, have a loved one manage your finances for you.

The more barriers, the better. Good luck my friend. You got this.