Self exclusion from websites

There's a sticky post on this (I think) but I'm on my phone & can't find it...Give Gamcare a call, they will be able to help I'm sure! The other 2 names I recall are Netnanny & Betfilter but I'm a machine girl so can't vouch for any of them! Suffice to say that I doubt there is a central database as there has been much talk of lack of control that I have read!

You may need to downgrade your bank card to one that can't be used online, failing that, order a new card & scratch off the security code from the back.

3 months is great, this is a blip, a reminder if you like as to why you cannot place even 1 bet...We cannot win because we cannot stop!

Keep fighting - ODAAT

Thank you odaat. I've had a rubbish day at work and it's so tempting to find a new site to play on. I only play one game but it's really popular so there are plenty of casinos to try. Downgrading my bank card is a good idea. I only have one debit card and never use credit cards on gaming sites (I can be sensible sometimes and am well aware that the credit card companies charge as a cash transaction on gaming sites so it costs even more to lose money!!).

I'm so disappointed in myself for lapsing so badly (my husband is away so I'm home alone with just my daughter) but the temptation just got to me. I thought I could control it but initially won ВЈ3000 then lost all of that and another £700. I just don't get how I can be so stupid!!

Hi,

I'm from the other side of the fence but for what it's worth, my advice is that the priority is to rethink barriers. At the moment, it is a single blip after a decent start, can you focus on keeping it that way? Much better than beating yourself up over it, you were doing well and you don't want to lose heart.

I recommend self exclusion by letter to the head office on the website. Someone else needs to get the address for you. Tell them your name, date of birth and all postal and email addresses, so that they can identify you, say you are a gambler in recovery and that you want to permanently self exclude and that other than confirming it, they should not contact you again.

If your phone is a temptation, then downgrade to a non Internet version. Laptops and desktops are easier to block.

If a Visa card can lead to deposits, then downgrade to a cash card.

Tell your nearest and dearest about the blip, better they know, otherwise it becomes a monster that grows.

Wish you well,

CW

Been there, done that! At least you're taking positive steps to stop again before this blip turns into something more major. Three months GF is great going.

You really have to properly break the triangle. For me, the only part I could change was the money. Do you really need the debit card? Could you have a joint account with your husband so he sees all the transactions? For me, shredding my card has been the best thing I've ever done. I know that if I'm really determined I could find a way round it but like you I've never deposited with a credit card and it just gives you that time and space to let the urges dissipate. Good luck going forward x

I would suggest you cut your card up and if you really need a new one then order one and hand control of it to your partner.

A lot of these sites will save your card details for 'quick deposit' so it's essential you have a different card with new details.

If you really must have your card scratching the 3 digit no. off the back could be a deterrent not to use it online, without the 3 digits online deposit is impossible.

Contact all the sites you frequent and self-exclude, install the software to ensure you can't open new ones, even if you did open new ones without a bank card as above you can't gamble.

re credit cards, I would also destroy these or hand control to your partner, the urge will take you and it's too easy as you say to open a new account.

Drastic, but need must.

Remove the ability to gamble, i.e. take the cards out the equation and recovery is that wee bit easier as the urges will still be there to begin with but not being able to act on them gives you the time to realise and accept that gambling is fruitless, over time the urges get less frequent and less strong and you teach yourself to deal with them as they come.

Thank you for all your comments. I can see the money going out of my bank account now and it has really scared me. How can I be SO stupid. I cannot believe how much this monster has got me. Right now I am really hating myself which I know is not benefitting me in any way but that's how I feel. I spent everything I had in my account over the course of three days but I hope that is it now. I never ever want to feel like this again. I don't think I've ever felt so low. If it wasn't for my husband and beautiful children I don't know what I'd do. I have to accept I can't get the money back and now work out a way to break the triangle. I have a new debit card that isn't registered on any sites. I will give it to my husband to stop any temptation. I have self excluded from all the sites I play on. I have downloaded a hypnosis track about gambling addiction so hopefully that will be useful. I will also make sure I visit this site often to keep my resolve strong.

I have decided to change my profile name to reflect where I am right now. I have lost FAR too much money to this gambling demon and now it's time to stop.

I need to be honest to myself as much as too my family. I keep thinking "one more go" and "I'll win this time" I am not stupid and I know I can't win so why do I keep on going?

I keep making excuses as to why I need to keep my bank card/Internet on my mobile etc etc. My ipad has numerous blocks on it because my husband doesn't trust me so maybe this time I WILL stop using my phone for Internet and totally remove one part of the triangle.

I have told my mum and she understands the problem so now I do have someone in the real world I can talk to. I'm still not ready to tell my husband but maybe one day I will.

So once again I'm back to day zero. Having gambled today I can't call this day one but tomorrow will be.

I'm off to sign myself up to the 2015 challenge.

Welcome to the 2015 challenge.

Your situation is pretty similar to mine and I also couldn't control my spending on online slots. I've a diary on here if you wanted a read.

Like ODAAT suggested to me too, I cancelled my debit card and ordered a new one. When the new one arrived I got my best friend to scratch off the last three digits on the back. This meant I couldn't use it to gamble online. I think this really helped me in the early days. You must remove the ability to gamble as in the early days it's too easy to crumble and give in, especially when you retain the ability to gamble. Maybe ask your mum to do this for you ? You need to break the triangle somehow.

Id also consider (if you haven't already) asking your mum or husband to keep hold of your credit cards. You say you don't use them online but I'd still say it's a risk.

Whilst you are determined to quit you need to try to break the triangle. Make it impossible to gamble as much as you possibly can.

List all the reasons to quit.

List all the reasons to gamble.

Of course you can write a million reasons to quit.

Can you write any positive things that come from gambling?

If you're honest with yourself as your name suggests you should realise you perhaps don't even enjoy gambling any more.

When you can't control it and it controls you, it's stressful and it gets you down.

Please stay close to the forum and this site and I'm really pleased you joined the 2015 challenge.

Best wishes to you

boxingdaysmay15 (Clare)

I can't even manage one day without gambling. I am SO cross with myself yet I still do it. I just don't understand it. I have installed k9 on my phone having decided enough is enough but it just crashes and let's me go back onto Google Chrome. I feel so weak and don't seem to be able to break the triangle. I stopped at two deposits tonight but they were £200 each and I've left myself with nothing AGAIN. Why am I such an idiot?

Tomorrow is another day and I will try yet again.

Either ditch your internet mobile and visa bank card. Also get counselling and or go to GA.

Or keep making excuses not to take these steps, then give into temptation each pay day.

Your call.

CW

I have made it to three days now. Spoke to my husband at length over the weekend and we've agreed to put various things in place and that I can go to counselling. We run our own business so taking the time out is a bit difficult (and the closest place is an hour away) but I'm going to do it once the kids are back at school.

I'm not making excuses any more and plan to report many more days gamble free.

Best wishes on your recovery journey. Honesty with your husband sounds like a great way to secure a solid start to recovery from this. It has had a grip on you by the sounds of it. You need the support to help break free and look towards a brighter future. Please keep checking in with us each week on the 2015 challenge. If you need anything, just ask.

boxingdaysmay15 (Clare)

Hi,

Well done on the action-not-words, glad to hear that you've told your family. For me, the lies were the absolute worse and my husband was exposed, he didn't tell me.

Stick with it.

BW,

CW

Thank you cw.

Still sticking to my actions and not gambling.