Its still early doors, but ive done things differently this time and it feels good. Ive been a addict for about 8 years and ive stopped a few times before for short periods, but always fell back in the trap. This time too many things got to me and i broke down emotionally twice in a week with different doctors. To hurt my knee badly enough in the past i gave up on sports that i loved. That i done it again that if i dont work then there is bately any money coming in to our house. But the idea that i cant even chase after my infant done it for me and surgery will be an answer. Anyway it hit me, im really messing up in life that if im not carefull i could lose everything i love, this is always been i my mind but things hit hard that week and i took the big step of talking to my gp about my mental health. From being very angry at nothing, anxiety, self hatered, dissapointment embarrasement everything you can feel inbthis situation. I was really inba dark emotional place. I spoke to a colleague at work too. Ive seen the gp a few times and expressed my feelings that since thebfirst time i spoke to her it feels different. Ive slept better, my anger has reduced, ive started to feel more relaxed at home. Im enjoying my days alone with my kid at home where before i didnt. Its horrible to say but i would rather of been at work, but now im looking forward to my days with him. Just wish i could run about with him. Ive also taken thebpositive step of setting up a joint account with my partner. This way i know she sees my money and not the bookies, i can stop lieing and hiding things. I should have done it years ago but i didnt. It wasnt easy to say yes to the bank account but i said this time was going to be different and im trying hard. Im actually looking forward to telling my gp about my steps forward. Its been 37days since i last gambled and i feel so proud of my self as i couldnt even go a day without it, or think of it. To anyone who reads this or tells people things will improve it does, you just have to be strong and belive it yourself.
Hi Lindsay,
Thank you for posting in the Forum. Your message sounds very positive and you have certainly taken very good steps in the right direction. Maybe you would like to start a recovery diary here to monitor your progress. It can be a good tool to refer to at a later stage.
I also wondered whether you might find face to face counselling useful as you write about the difference it has made to you to start talking to your GP about your problem. We have counselling services available throughout the UK and you can contact us on the HelpLine on 0808 80 20 133 to talk this through with an advisor. Alternatively you can read us on http://www.gamcare.org.uk/frontline-services/netline to chat online. Both services are open from 8 am to midnight every day.
Keep believing in yourself, you can do this!
Kind wishes
Gabriele
Hi Lindsay,
thank you for sharing your experience. I am sorry you had to go through so much, but glad you are feeling stronger and on the right track. You have done the bravest things by being honest and accountable and also for seeking help from the GP for your mental health, good on you. I am back to Gamcare after a relapse, so I was reading for inspiration, glad to have come across your thread and congratulations on your 37 precious days. I have yet to achieve my 1st day in round 4 of this chaos, hoping it will be tomorrow. Wishing you all the best.
Thanks for the kind words and encouraging words, im now day 67. Havent spoken to my doctor in 4 weeks as she is on maternity, but ive nit felt the need to either if she was there. Ive got rid of my overdraft, working hard, my partner has got a new job more hours so extra money coming in to our house. So theres less worries there. Life is actually improving. I hope you find the right path again and regain the life we deserve not had from this horrible addiction that clouds over our lives.
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
