Hello all i have been problem gambling for years now and always seem to blip after about 5-10 months of being so strong, I'm 31 and married to my amazing wife and we have 2 beautiful children which should be enough to stop me for good but here i am again!
This time is even worse because I've been paying back about 20k of gambling debt over the last 5 years and i am now down to just 2k of being 700 pound better off a month!
It always seems to get me when we are having a bad month and things are tight and i know my loans are due out and it hurts paying that every month but i know im never gonna win a good amount from gambling or my wife will accept it even if i did win big so what the hell am i doing???
I've now done another 2k this last month which now pushes my loans back more when i was so close to the end i feel sick and ashamed because i let my family down, i am now gonna self exclude myself again which i done before but it ended after 1 year which i then thought i was fine but i need to ban myself for life because i just can't seem to beat this evil addiction.
I feel like i deserve to be alone now because it's not fair on my family i just can't be trusted.
This was done on Roulette aswell 🙁
Hi Sparky.
Great title SOUL DESTROYING because thats what it is,not just your soul gets destroyed but the people you love most. Come clean with your wife and hand over the finances to her or a trusted family member and find a GA meeting if you can.The alternative is a life of lies & deceit and losing the family you obviously love so much.Accept that you are never going to win back what youve lost and concentrate on keeping what you still have a wife & 2 lovely children.
Stay Strong
AL
Thanks Al appreciate the advice and support!
I have now handed over my finances and banned myself from every betting shop in reach of me but this time i need to stay banned because after the year ban i thought i was ok but i need to accept i can't trust myself!
I'm lucky my wife and family are so supportive but next time i could lose everything so i will not let that happen!
A little setback, don't let it take away from the amazing progress you hae made to reduce your debt. just bolster up your defenses and carry on. Post on here when the debt is gone.
Trust me, punishing ourselves so harshly is half of the problem. Accept that slips will happen (exactly when has any person got over an addiction 1st time without slip ups?), and don't beat yourself up about it.
Urgh thanks, i know i just go into full on anger and hate for myself after the damage is done and i come out of that evil bubble whilst gambling!
But i do believe ill come out of this on top just need to stay banned and let my wife keep hold of my bank card because when i do get the urge i can't magic money out of my a*s lol so hopefully this will really sort me out this time!
Hi Buddy! In my opinion you are doing great, it is only normal to have a relapse. I am 20 years old and have had a few relapses (story in bio if you fancy a read). Don't beat yourself up about it, just tighten the boundaries and carry on speaking out about it to those around you. You'll get on top of this addiction and stay on top, but it won't be done in 1 day, 1 month or even a year. Keep going, stay positive mate, you got this.
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