Hello,
Before today I had not gambled since the 1st May 2017, I have attended 5 face to face counselling sessions about my gambling problem and the progress I am making is great. Unfortunately today I suffered a relapse, I am self excluded from over twenty bookmakers so the temptation is never a issue because I simply cant go anywhere. My girlfriend has my cards etc so I cant gamble online, but today after staying at a friend of a friends house in the outskirts of the town I saw a bookmakers I had no idea was there. I had £160 in my wallet and then straight away the thoughts came back. "Should I have one more go again"? and then I was thinking "Remeber what you learned in your counselling session"?, so many thoughts ran through my head but the temptation got to me. I sat at the FOBT for abit and then started putting the £20 notes in. After about 15 minutes I decided to walk away with £205 so I actually didnt lose and just made a £45 profit.
Now guys I was wondering if any of you have some advice on staying positive after a relapse. I am actually feeling not bad, maybe because I didn't lose the £160 but I think the whole staying positive comes from the fact that I had gone so long without caring about gambling and I'm making great progress. I think I got abit too cocky with it all thinking am cured. I know now I have to ring up the national self exclusion line and add that bookmakers to my scheme, self exclusion does work for me because I would feel a idiot if a member of staff recognised me and asked me to leave. Should I treat the relapse as a lesson in my recovery and work with my counsellor on how to knock down that temptaion?. Like my username states am "embracing the struggle".
Thanks for reading guys.
Gambled today too. Gutted. I'm a seaside resort gambler...not a fan of fobts.
Hi embracing.
I just feel you have to talk it through with people close and everyone to firmly base yourself in reality.
Its an addiction I found to be a very spur of the moment thing and it will seize an "opportunity" as it sees it. It will seize a moment of weakness and instantly realise there are no blocks to stop it
You also have to be very aware that a period of gambling will result in the very reason you joined the forum in the first place. Yes money did come my way on the rare ocassion but it was never enough and I gambled it away again plus more. It was only a temporary thing and went nowhere near covering my massive losses. You have been honest by saying that something came your way but its not an income scheme and its all heavily against you.
My losses certainly changed my life but I never remember playing for anything that would have changed my life....Thats the crazy life of an addict.
I realised I was vunerable when I lost my gold ring in the next town. A crazy thought process started where gambling was a way to win the value back. Only something random to do with train times held me off. It scared me as I thought I had it under control. I then needed to deal with that in a moment of strength
Since then I discussed it and extended my blocks. I realise I will need blocks anywhere Im working or travelling through regularly. Thats not because I feel urges now...thats just being sensible and showing and awareness for a powerful addiction and form of mind control.
You can never be complacent and that is just a reminder. Recovery has granted me the serenity to realise that it may always be within me but with my healthy mind and outlook I dont feel urges to gamble.
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
IHi Embracing,
I'm not going to bore you with my incredibly long story, which will no doubt be similar to most peoples on this site, but as an an addict to not only gambling and having battled, won and lost various wars as a result, my advice would be to celebrate every victory. In this instance, you managed to walk away without money being wasted. You've managed to learn a lesson, in that you're not cured, but have a measure of damage limitation in that the negativity will not be as strong, because you didn't lose money. However, this could also be a downfall, because you will not be linking this gambling experience with all the other bad ones that caused you to become ashamed, dad, defeated, paralysed with grief over money wasted , no doubt. So just be careful to remember the important facts that gambling is the disease, whether win or lose and as youvee said you will, put that block in place so as to reduce the risk of it happening again. All the best. Mikey
Don't look at the fact you walked away with profit this time as a good thing as it will be only a matter of time before you 'try your luck' again. Get to a GA meeting, do everything you can to get into recovery from this addiction.
Thanks for the replies guys, I have enjoyed reading your responses and will take your advice.
Sam Crow, that is exactly what am going to do. I realised that I got lucky not to blow all the money and like you said I won't treat it as a good thing.
Since the relapse 2 days ago I have not thought about gambing at all, I have my sixth counselling session a week tommorow so I will be quite interested to discuss this with the counsellor.
Hope everyone else is coping with their recovery. I wish you all the best.
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