Like many others here I want to say "Today is my last day gambling" but it seems like it's impossible. I have self-excluded myself from so many other websites, installed Gamblock (but managed to remove it easily), and I'm once again in a very bad point.
I got married in August, and I haven't told my wife about it all yet ... I want to, I love her, and I want it just to stop! I am not in the worst financial situation but I am afraid it could carry on ... !!
I stole from my business partner around $20,000 (USD) as I manage our business accounts and he trusts me but now today another $2,000 .... so I basically owe him $22,000 (USD), which is like 13,500 pounds. It's not a massive "debt", I also have the ability to pay it back, but I need what I saved with my wife to buy a property which is so expensive nowadays, any property you look for. (not in the UK)
I am trying to stop and today I ordered from Amazon a book about gambling addiction, hopefully I can read and learn more from it ... but I want to stop in a way that what I'm telling you here ... that I am stopping today, I don't want it to be an empty statement, I want it to be a fact, but how can I make it a fact?
I've lost today 1500 GBP so quickly on 2 NBA bets I had and I'm tired of this NBA and of gambling in general ... I just want it out of my life as far as possible, but don't know how to get there...
Hi wanttostop, good to see you continuing to post my friend, i'm sorry that it is not in better circumstances.
It is true that gamblers will always find a way to gamble if they really want to - there is only so much you can do with the multitude of options that there are today.
Sometimes it is easier to forget about the big picture and go back to basics; don't think of the problems, debt and worry as a whole, deal with day ahead and nothing else; compartmentalize your life where you are only dealing with what is in front of you.
Put everything you have into tackling that moment, that very second you are about to start; you have some control at this point, you have an opportunity to turn back, however strong the urge. Once you start, you are lost, spiralling into oblivion were there are no consequences until the game ends and the money runs out.
Everytime I felt a strong urge, I would do whatever it takes to get through it until they lessened to a point where I could deal with them. Sometimes, I would just walk, walk and walk at a strong pace for hours, preferably somewhere remote. Sometimes, I would punch a pillow, sometimes I would just roll up into a ball - whatever it took to get through that time.
In the end, I almost welcomed the urges, because getting through every one pushed me further up the ladder towards recovery. All of this is much easier said than done my friend, I very much appreciate - we have spoken several times before, and I have seen how happy you were when you stopped for a time - take it slowly and focus on one thing at a time friend as I said; you will get there in time.
JamesP
James,
Thanks so much for your ideas, these are very helpful, and I would like to keep on writing in this topic for a while, to see how the progress goes, not only today, the main point is to report 2 weeks - 1 month from now etc.
By the way, what's your opinion about reading gambling addiction books?
You're very welcome Wantostop1, no problem at all,
It always a good idea to read as much as you can about this affliction, whether it be from personal experience as it is on this Forum, or from the perspective of someone who has written a book.
What I would say is take parts from everything; everyone is different, and everyone has different levels - if it works for you, superb, if it doesn't, then stop; what works for one might not work for another - don't take it as gospel if it isn't working for you my friend.
I look forward to reading your progress my friend. Well done for taking such a positive approach.
JamesP
Hi James,
It's the 2nd day today, and NBA games have started tonight and I had a big urge to bet on them, and bet "under" but I was thinking even if it's going to be a "sure win", I know what happens in the end ... I was there before, I remember I had those days when I bet over 1000 pounds on one game and won ... but I know this winning would be dangerous for me, and I prefer to keep the "clean train" running and be without it, so I'm avoiding betting on the NBA tonight and I prefer to put more concentration in my life onto other things, because a bettor cannot quit if he keeps on betting, the only way to quit is to stop it completely.
So I'm glad I'm avoiding that big urge, which is difficult but encouraging as well.
Thank you James.
Day 3 without gambling, been quite a though day, had thoughts of gambling and been "sad" without it but I know it's just a false imagination and hope I can stay on the right course and keep on going there.
I haven't counted the days so far but I haven't been gambling since I've started this thread.
It was quite difficult in the beginning, feeling like having an ex girlfriend who is a fob (=friend for benefits), however the further I don't feed this addiction the further things are getting better.
I have managed to start repaying the debt, just transferred $3,000 back to my business partner's account, so out of $22,000 it's now $19,000. It's not easy to repay it all back but I'm learning the consequences of my actions now by doing so. I hope god would give me the strength and the ability to keep on repaying the entire debt without worrying about my financial situation during this time.
How's it going mate
See:
http://www.gamcare.org.uk/for…dex.php?tid=288056&page=2
The debt is still $19k, it might take a while to repay it all.
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