Struggling alone

So sorry you were feeling down last night Lou. Only just seen your post otherwise I would have visited sooner.

I have enormous respect for you good lady and admire the courage you have shown over the last year. It has been a traumatic time for you but you have battled bravely to overcome your fears.

Sincerely hoping 2021 will be a good year for you and wishing that you find peace, joy and happiness.

Stephen x 

My posts dont show up for hours aum could have done with the support last night 

Suppose to be in work i havent turned up or even been able to ring them .im a big let down?

1st day of new year...Failed 

How are you holding up Lou?.

Not great bobby problem is at the moment its hard talk.

Just struggling so much ..especially over new year..

Been just spending money online to try and cope and find other ways..been doing a fantasy 5 football its free but i dont even know if thats gambling atm. Was suppose to br at work today its been very sad there lately but i just didnt show up or even phone in so im in a bit of a state 

Lou

Dont be hard on yourself Lou.

Through no fault of your own you are struggling to cope at the moment.

Best to keep the hospital informed if you are feeling unwell so they can get someone to cover and if you need some time off work due to ill health than contact your doctor.

Being off sick with depression, anxiety etc is no different to being off sick with any other ailment so do not feel that you are letting anyone down.

Will be thinking of you Lou and sincerely hope you feel better soon.

Stephen x 

Its not that aum its not i was unwell more exhausted and struggling through this week

So over christmas i went back to my family..it was nice to be back but very triggering in my gambling recovery i was doing well until that point.

My family all talk sport and gambling which is hard they dont know about my struggles and i know its against advice but please respect i have thought it out and its my decision not to tell them. I have a family member that even works in a bookies but themselves gamble i woudnt say theres is problamatic yet though. 

We all got lottery tickets and scratchcard at christmas i scratched mine off won small amount... if it was bit higher talking at least a note i would have just got the money if i would had lost that would have been that. But why is it such a trigger when i never had an issue with scratchcards i used to spend thousands online but just few pounds is  a trigger. Sensible decision would be to have given it back to family or just took it got the change. I havent done anything with it yet part me thinks well its excuse and no harm gamble i can get 2 more scratchcards out winnings and still havent spent any of my own money.. would that still be gambling ??

Instead of gambling last few days i tried to use this site less as well but found myself randomly spending money online on ebay normally i worry about money but felt i needed get it out my system.

Then my family have been doing a football game its free to enter a chance to win money but u pick players every week and if  they all score a certain amount chance win money very poor chance and i dont do it for the money my family all started it even my mum that hates football !just bit fun i guess see who did the best..but i can understand it could be a trigger but i want to do it and havent spent no money theres no option on site..is it harmless fun ? Or stupud ?

Technically i guess i havent gambled but i feel like i have.

Struggling to cope and get through new years eve new year day i always struggle with it maybe its seeing others filled with positivity and goals  andhope..when you feel like your drowning.

Lou x

Any1 have any thoughts on that ? 

I know what you mean Lou because I remember visiting family before all this covid stuff and my nephews and their in laws were gambling on football and playing poker. It is very unsettling.

Whether or not to tell family and friends about your gambling addiction is a personal issue because it might not always be received in a positive light and could cause friction. Only the individual knows if it would be appropriate and helpful.

Your family visit is now over and no damage has been done to your recovery. Don't even think about the scratch cards and lottery tickets your family purchased because you were just joining in family Christmas fun and no harm has been done. 

I know nothing about the free fantasy football. It has never appealed to me even when I was gambling so cannot comment on that.

The good news is that your recovery from gambling addiction is still on track and you are doing very well. New Year has  been a traumatic time for everyone and I feel you will get over the negative thoughts and feelings you have been troubled with over recent days.

You have so much potential dear lady and talent to go with it. To have got to where you are now you must have been a very hard working, intelligent lady with ambition. I have seen on a number of occasions that you are a compassionate and caring soul and that you have a fun sense of humour.

You will bounce back Lou. 

Best wishes

Stephen x x x 

Thanks for your reply stephen i appreciate it i hope your okay and have a great 2021..

and yeah it was very unsettling i still have the scratchcard just sat there..and dp free fantasy football its badiclaly no option to pay on it.

My day count is one thing thats helped i dont wanna gamble because i dont wanna ruin my day count some say it doesnt help but it does for me

Tonights been tough to even make it through more than id ever be able to explain

Lou x 

Want to wish everyone a happy healthy 2021.

First couple days havent gone well at all for me.

But all being well i should be debt free by the end of this year though.

Lou x

Hello LouLou

Hope the weekend has been good for you.

Take good care of yourself dear friend.

Aum x 

Thankyou stephen for popping by ? 

Loux