Triggers

Hi

Yes you will realise that there are many triggers and feeling good about something or more flush than usual can be one of them.

Oh I feel on top of the world can make you feel invincible and the neurons in the brain start making their trigger paths

Triggers is an interesting one because they can be different for others. For example I have never gambled online.....Its not that I am better than others but that was just never a trigger that carried through for me. To much doubt and I like anonymity over registering anywhere. also didnt think I will get paid which prevented online gambling. Im not complacent though and realise thats a string of almost random reasons which were just working for me

When it came to machines in town there were all sorts of triggers and deluded reasoning that had me wasting all my money

Triggers can be subtle and they can be almost instant. I never in a sense felt I was fighting urges but I would probably trigger it the night before then have no control in town and be instantly going throught the motions of withdrawing at the servicetill and justifying I would be ok to have a gamble.

They were urges but seemed to work in subtle devious ways. Thats how it seemed with me the time.

Stress depression and just feeling low can be other triggers. I will be really honest that if I felt my dad had been too stern with me, I would often be past caring and thats a major trigger related to a self harm state of mind

Best wishes

The alarm clock going off in the morning was my trigger

day@atime wrote: The alarm clock going off in the morning was my trigger

Yeah as Dan sums up anything can be a trigger for a problem gambler

I have many triggers, the usual ones like when feeling low etc but with me it was also about kidding myself on that it was a reward, I'd earned little bit of fun hadn't I...Especially after a long tough shift in work, I'd had a rough day, I worked hard, why shouldn't I "play" .....Fool....I know that now!

M x

Maybe I should change my allegiance and support Man Utd as there won't be so many opportunities of feeling the highs of winning a football match.

Joydivider,It is really interseting you say you didn't gamble online as you like anonymity. I ONLY gambled online for the same reason. I would never go into a bookmakers and only very rarely in a land based casino as I did not want anyone to see me gambling.

babapapa wrote:

Maybe I should change my allegiance and support Man Utd as there won't be so many opportunities of feeling the highs of winning a football match.

Joydivider,It is really interseting you say you didn't gamble online as you like anonymity. I ONLY gambled online for the same reason. I would never go into a bookmakers and only very rarely in a land based casino as I did not want anyone to see me gambling.

Yes interesting and it can be a string of random or addicted thoughts in my head. Online gambling never appealed and I havent had to knowingly control thoughts about that. It was a pretty sharp dismissal that I wouldn ever bother myself doing that. Is that how you felt about bookies etc? I feel you quickly dismissed that avenue in the same way

To me the arcades and bookies were not pleasant atmospheres but the staff and othe gamblers didnt know my name, my status, where I lived etc. I could in that sense be anonymous and when they came round with the free offers and tokens I used to give a false name and signature. I didnt really speak to anyone much and those people I did talk to there was a funny code where you could have a bit of banter about gambling but avoid eye contact elsewhere. When I think about it now its the pretence of a double life and probably because part of me knew it was a dodgy activity. To be honest I felt a bit naughty. bit of a jack the lad..little bit woo little bit weh and that must have been part of the whole addicted package which was attracting me. Its so complex that I also wanted to feel like a high roller and blase with money even though I was playing for escape and losing. Hey look how casual I can be (loadsamoney me) and Im going to make easy money. This maybe in direct contrast to how jaded boring and straightlaced I was starting to feel

Stress and depression was a major trigger so you can look at some of these other factiors as a subtext but they are all there in the complex soup

I didnt mind being seen and maybe I wanted to be part of something...cant fully explain it. I did get uncomfortable if someone stood too close and I certainly didnt want to make close acquaintances so it wasnt actually a social experience I was proud of....more like a den of iniquity which played on some sense of naughty fun...I dont know because it wasnt actually fun or entertainment when I think about it now

Im not trying to learn how to gamble online but would have thought some personal details and banking details have to be given. Thats a no no for me as its too much information they would hold and I wouldnt want the bank seeing any transactions. its not a particularly rational thought process but Im glad that was one method of gambling I didnt do.......still didnt save me though as all my money would go on feeding the slots in high street premesis

That is interesting though because its like our anonymity triggers are working in the opposite way.

Gambling isnt rational so I dont really expect my trigger thoughts to make much sense now

Best wishes

Hi Joydivider,

Gambling on horses, football etc has never really appealed to me and when I was in my late teens that was really all you could do in bookmakers so I never had much experience of those places. It was the slots and roulette that have been my downfall and I appreciate the fact that those activities are now too readilly available in bookmakers. I run my business from my home town and have a lot of clients from all walks of life living locally. I would feel embarrassed if I was seen gambling and feel that clients, or prospective clients, seeing me walking in to a bookmakers would think badly of me. I would hate the thought of people talking about me or telling people "You will never guess who I saw in the bookmakers today". I am so aware that it is a flaw in our character to gamble, certainly gambling compulsively, and I don't like to think people will see a side of me which I have not exposed. It is one thing I can be grateful for, as it has only ever been on-line gambling that has affected me. With blocking software in place it is perhaps easier for me than some to be in a position where gambling becomes very diffcult to physically do now.

As a side, i really do think this forum is fantastic! When you post something, which is hopefully worthy of a response, you wait eagerly for replies. There is a buzz of anticipation not dissimilar to that when I was gambling!

Best wishes to all.

Ah yes I see what you mean. I never really knew anybody in this town which is part of my isolation so I didnt really worry about anybody seeing me going in.

However once in a blue moon I did see other people in there that I had briefly met in the house of an aquaintance of mine. That was embarrassing and it did sometimes make me leave. Actually you are right that I couldnt gamble beside anybody I really knew from elsewhere. I would have died to think that a boss at work would see me or a client I was working for. I know exactly what you mean so maybe that is a form of control for me.

Over time I realised that I was extremely unlikely to see anybody I knew (that could affect my life in other ways) in these places so the anonymity could continue.

I have to be deadly honest in that I didnt see other gamblers as respectable so didnt care who saw me. That sounds awful to say and someone should have handed me a mirror because I looked just the same as them. I didnt want to know them and as discussed on other threads nobody really wanted others having a better time in there

Apart from the office sweepstake which is almost obligitory, I have never directly bet on a horse, the dogs or a sporting event. Bookies were never my thing until about six months of 2015 when I lost more than I ever had during that period. I went into them to use the machines for the fruit machine type games . I have to say calling them fruit machine games almost negates the stratospheric level they have reached with maximum addiction techniques. I was even getting a bit bored of old style machines but the new ones took addiction to a whole new level. The designers of these "games" know exactly what they are doing. I dont even like calling them games now. Deviously programmed reels that took my compulsion through the roof.

I found roulette boring. I tried it a few times but found all the casino games wouldnt trigger me to continue. So this is what we were saying about triggers as they affect people differently. You see it wasnt mainly about money which is why I found games with less escape to be boring

Theres something important in the electronic (vegas style shall we say) gave me that feeling of wanting to escape into them and continue on. To think about it now they werent even fun. It was just a stressed mix of chemical rushes and a session left me feel exhausted with it all..emotionally drained and of course skint

In recovery I have discussed why its the reel machine games drew me right in. I couldnt stop and I would completely empty my bank balance which is scary to think about now.

The mind works in strange ways to justify its own ends. I do think its a form of mind control and we all have a hard time coming to terms with the fact that we completely out of control. The reasons are hard to describe until we learn about the addiction and our troubled souls

Best wishes to everyone on the forum