Hello,
My name is Lee, im new to having an account on here but regularly visit this forum to see if anyone else is expereincing this misery this addicition causes.
About myself. Im 25, i have a good job and i live with my girlfriend of 3 years.
Where it all started. Well it all started at 17, i used to work in a pub so as youve probably guessed by now it all started watching people on a weekend shoving their money into a fruit machine and then coming to the bar with 10's and 10's of £1 coins! I thought this was amazing , they put £10 in and then play a fun game and win £50?!!! Couldnt be that easy could it? Well i thought that! so from the age of 17 to around 23 i have put hundereds and thousands into a fruit machine. BUT the last few years ive not really been on them, mainly because in my mind it was harder and longer to win that £50 and i had bigger fish to fry. PLUS my girlfriend obviously hates them so i dont risk an argument and row with her.
Anyway at 18 i found online gambling and this has stayed with me till this very day at 25! Ive been on poker, played blackjack, roulette, slot machines, virtual sports, horses, football betting , basketball betting, tennis and even bloody Ice hockey!!! You name it, ive bet on it.
For the past 7 years i have been a gambelling addict. All my money i have ever earned has gone on gambling or going on the football.
This past month though i have come to massive realisation of that i cant carry on doing this. And to be honest i come to this realisation most months! But i just cant stop!!! I just think that my life has been wasted constantly gambling or thinking about it! I have no savings , i dont have a car, im renting a house because i cant afford to get a mortgage etc etc. My life from being an adult has just evolved around gambling and i just dont know how to shift the habit!
Today has made me post on here now though. Maybe you might be able to relate from this or might understand the kind of gambler i am from this next bit and a story.
This month is a hard month, i am going away twice, had to pay all the bills and to live for the rest of the month. (By the way i have no savings so i live from month to month wages).
Because things are tight i had £1000 left in my account after all bills etc being taken out. So what did i do. On monday i get the big urge because its in my bank account to have a flutter. Try and get the bank balance up like every month and take it out and enjoy it. My devil at the minute is basketball and football betting in play. So monday at work i go online and i go to my betting account on the one site im still regsistered to depsoit £100. I then put that on an inplay bet. Its looses... Youll know the script by now. So while im meant to be working in the space of an hour or or so ive lost £600. I dont know what to do. I just want to go home as my head is now all over the place. As work finishes i walk home and im just thinking over and over again in my head , "why have i done this?" "I needed that money for the trips away and to live, i couldnt afford to loose that" . I get home and the first thing i think about is how i am going to win this all back! So i go online and deposit another £200. I loose... Again!! Once again , im gutted but with the amount of years and with this happening every month it now takes me an hour or so and im positive and ready to win it back again! So what do i do? I deposit another 100... Gone!!
Im sat on my bed wondering what the hell i have just done and i have no way out of this now. I have trips to go on that i cant afford , i have the rest of the month to live, things to do , things to buy like food etc . YET i still gambelled my money away and i knew what i was doing.
That night i worked out that i needed £600 for everything this month. I had £100 in my bank account and that was it. On tuesday i sold my phone for £500 to make the £600. It gave me some peace that even though i had buggered up again that the loss of my new phone would remind me of what i have done and i may learn and the fact i now had £600 to my name for this month.
Tonight, i deposited the £100 out of my account into the betting site. For a change i was up, i kept on winning, football bets coming in every 15 minutes and i had got it up to £500. In the space of half an hour.... it had gone. Im now going to struggle on the budget i set.
Its just a normal feeling for me, putting some money in , winning it and then loosing what i had put in too! That £400 extra could of really helped me but i knew what i was doing with not withdrawing it.
I put that long story to kind of make you realise what kind of gambeller i am. This happens every week and every month!! I love gambelling! I love the buzz and excitment of it and i love winning!!! I cant deny that the urge and the pleasure of doing it out wins the misery it all causes after it!!
Every month i spend my whole wage plus more. Every month.
This all needs to change for me and if you have time then i would really like some advice or some help!
From all my gambelling i have quite a bit of debt now. All from payday loans. I must have around 8 payday loans and a calculated debt of £3500. They are always after me by phone, email, letter but i just havent confronted them. I just dont know what to do. Does anyone have advice or direction on where i can get a debt managment plan or somewhere i can sort all these into one payment?
The next question is the gambling itself! How can i stop this? I wouldnt say im a stupid i guy but its fustrating the hell out of me why i spend my hard earned money on gambling!? i just dont get it!! and it confuses me and it gets to me that i just cant stop even though i know i want and need to! I blocked myself last month from the one site i had only not already self excluded myself from, YET i found another one! Has anyone got an advice on that front?
The only way i can think of stopping this is giving my bank cards to my girlfriend to look after and to see my banking on my phone but asking her everytime i need some money! I just hate doing that because i feel restricted i myself.
I want this to be the end now. But i just know if i had some money in my account right now id just go online and spend it.
Any help would be great and thankyou for listening to my story.
Lee.
I was 24 and in £14k debt, just admitted everything to my girlfriend broke her, self excluded off all sites for a year, still relapsed a few times as you probably will, but the hard way was the only way, your only bull sh1tting yourself if you think you'll turn over a new leaf without taking any of the triggers away, your only in 3.5k of debt, in 1 year maximum im presuming you could be debt free, or you could be looking back this time next year 5k+ in debt, single? who knows. take it as a life lesson, and move on.
Also don't do anything to dent your credit rating and null your chances of getting a mortgage, i avoided any debt management plans and just kept upto payments, juggled cards around to avoid interest, paid them off in a suitable order, maybe seek some professional advice regarding the payday loans, presuming they wont just go away, although i know someone who took a few out for under £1k and apperently they stopped chasing due to the amounts as would cost more in fees to try recover, perhaps speak to them and set up payment plans you can afford with them.
Hi Lee, I find myself in a similar situation to yourself. Today is the first time/ that I have read this website and contacted the GAM Care via live chat. Have things improved since you posted this experience
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