What do you think?

Hi

From what you have described in your post, I believe that he doesn't want to quit.

I've recently taken the step & admitted my problem to family. I've done everything I can myself because I want to stop.

I visited this website, I joined & I introduced myself. I've self excluded from online bookies & others which aren't immediate I've allowed my fiancГ©e to change the passwords/email address. I've also offered to hand over my finances to my fiancГ©e & family to avoid temptations. I also set up a DMP to sort out my debts.

I did this all myself because I want to quit. I know I have to quit because I have too much to lose! I love my fiancГ©e & family, I couldn't bare to lose them.

I hope your partner sees the light & realises that he needs to stop.

Hi Katiecola

Coping with the consequences of problem gambling can be a very frustrating and deeply worying time.

I can see from your post that you have done your best to support your husband and are planning to take control of the family finances which is a good strategy to help the problem gambler abstain. Your husband's recovery will ultimately be up to him, and how much he wants to stop gambling. There is always a way forward, but a lot of it depends on how determined a person is to quit.

You can't change someone else's behaviour, but you can change how you respond to it. If your husband carries on and does not seek help for his gambling, perhaps you can consider what boundaries you are able to put in place to protect yourself and your daughters from any financial and emotional effects?

You say you have talked to GamCare are you aware that you can receive free one to one counselling for yourself which will give you the opportunity to explore the impacts of problem gambling on your family life. What you do in this situation is down to you but speaking to a trained counsellor could help you to clarify your thoughts and feelings.

This forum has many members - some are gamblers and some their friends and families, hopefully you'll be able to hear and benefit from their different perspectives.

Kind regards

Forum Admin.

Thanks for your reply cloud. Of course you have confirmed what I already know. I wish you all the best. Just wish my husband couldn't bare to loose us.

I cant tell you how it is for your husband Katie only how it was for me. When i was lying, stealing from my wife & children it wasnt because they werent enough for me. It was because my perception was that i was not & never could be enough for them. Gambling took the pain of those thoughts about myself away for a precious few hours

Dan x

Hi dan

thanks for your post. I think you've hit the nail on the head. He often says things like that- we are better off without him etc. but I can't help him if he won't take steps to help himself surely? Can I ask, did your marriage survive? I'm asking myself if I need to let him go so he can sort himself out for himself or if left alone he will completely self destruct. I do love him but I can't continue like this, it's destroying my whole family.

It did Katie. But only because it changed. I had to be honest with her. I had to give up my finances. I had to go to GA. I had to see a counsellor. Only time will tell if yours can , but you cant go on as you are.