At the age of 26 I Never thought I would be doing this, this is my first time on here , I find myself embarrassed if I'm honest that I've let things come so far, but now I've lost my money, my confidence my self respect even lost myself( family see this as well) and now I've lost my partner of 8 years. I don't no where my life is going. I have tricked myself in to thinking im in control when I no I'm not but the fear to accept this scares me; but here I am and I'm looking to change my thinking and my future. I have read threw a lot of the post on here and can see the similarities which with out sounding ignorant I was relieved that im not the only person on them lines of thought. Gamble, chase . Win but still play, then get a loan, then another and so on.this has been over the duration of my relationship but over the past 5 years and especially this year has got progressively worse and if I'm honest over the whole time I've spent in excess of £25000.......... But I've always been in denial because I'm embarrassed and it weren't all in one blow out....There's a lot more behind the scenes that im really struggling with and tbh im close to the bottom of a very black hole. I've arranged counciling but I just can't see light at the end. Never been so lost.
Hi Murray
I spent ages 18-35 gambling and lost a sense of who I was along the way. Thankfully I haven't gambled for 2.5 years now.
Firstly I would idenfity what your values are. There is no 'correct' value - a value is simply something you hold very dear to your heart. Mine include helping others, letting my true self out, health and creativity.
Once you identify your values then you can start setting goals, however small, in the direction of these values. By taking action towards these goals you give your life a sense of purpose and re-discover your identity. Obviously if you can live by values then gambling is knocked out of the equation (there is of course a wealth of info regarding combatting immediate urges etc - I'm looking a bit deeper)
Hi cardhue I'm glad to hear you have pulled threw the addiction and have managed to stay clear. I understand the logic in what you are saying but when you no longer know, clearly what your values are, setting goals and aiming towards them seem impossible. This is the lowest I've ever felt in my life and I want to make sure that I use this as a building block to move forward, although as it stands I don't no where forward is. I'm trying everything I can to put blocks, steps what ever you may call them in place to combat the habit, and as it stands I don't have an urge and it makes me feel sick, and I don't want to gamble, the fear that it has took over me and changed me as a person leaves thoughts in your head that there is no ' happy ending' so to speak and it will keep creeping back up. I just want control of my life .
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