Your loved ones

Honesty is one of the cornerstones of Gamblers Anonymous. Honest with yourself and honest with loved ones.

How can you get support if others don't know you are struggling. All lying does is allow the illness to fester. Bringing it into the open sets you free my friend.

I was only honest when I had no where left to go. I wish I had been advised to tell loved ones at a much earlier stage where I could have had support.

My advice is to tell them.

Chris.

Hi

I echo what Chris has said. I only told the truth when I was backed into a corner and released the lies had to stop. Sure it wasn't a pleasant experience at first, but once my wife knew everything and then my parents, I felt I could then start to move forward.

I'm sure someone famous once said "the truth will set you free". It will help you see you don't have to face this alone.

Along with admission there is a problem, it's one of the first and most important steps you can take on the road to a better life.

I wish you all the best.

S

Hi zarsan. I understand your reluctance you are scared and that is normal. I too had to get found out and backed into a corner, but I spilled it all then everything and as  has been said above the relief was immense. It's the lying secrets and deceit that keep us trapped in the hole of compulsive gambling . Living a cleaner life without the lies secrets , going to GA and gaining support of others that " know without having to tell them" is truly humbling and helpful I look forward to going, I need to go, I must go !! Good luck with whatever you choose 

Please be completely honest Zarsan. Get it all out, all of it. Very difficult but I personally think this is the way to beat this. I was absolutely heartbroken when partner confessed to me but we both wish he’s done it much much much earlier. He was convinced i’ll kick him out and leave him that he’s arranged for a place to stay that night. But he did confess and we got through it.

Now that he’s out in the open, we are all supporting him. I am much happier in my relationship with him and we feel a stronger connection between each other.

I wish you all the best. 

Yep agreed to be total ready to quit for good I think you need to tell those closest I have tried so many times to quit I kept everything to myself the amounts I’d lost how I was feeling everything the day I decided to quit for good I logged into my bank and showed my husband my transactions he was gutted angry disappointed all the emotions you can think of but from that day I have been gf for 278 days and now I can discuss how I feel with him 

Can genuinely say, coming clean to my wife rather than her finding out (which had happened before) was the best thing I did and the biggest difference this time around trying to stop.

I was about 3/4 days gamble free and had read so many posts on Gamcare and listened to podcasts and from what I had read I knew I had to come clean and take the worst. I came clean and she was so supportive because I had told her and she was proud that I had taken steps off my own back to address the issue. 

I am now 52 days gamble free and happy. She asks me most days how I feel and if I have had any urges. That constant acknowledgement of what is happening just makes it so much easier for me to remain honest 

Hi Zarsan

I have to echo the comments made by the others on this thread.

Telling my partner and family was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to to but in the end was the best thing that I could have done, especially as my family knew about my gambling problem beforehand and I’d kept the relapse a secret For such a long time and my missus had no idea whatsoever and she was also pregnant at the time so I felt like I was stuck behind a rock and a hard place.

My partner and family helped me to put blocks in place and have guided me and looked after me when I needed it and I’m now 243 days gamble free and it’s the best feeling ever.

Ulitmatley you’ll have to tell them at some point but it’ll be down to you when you decide the time is right, I know this is a very clichè thing to say but, it’s like ripping the plaster off, it will hurt at first but you’ll feel better once you’ve done it.

Good luck, and stay strong

Nico