It’s been a long time coming, but the day has finally arrived.Â
Gambling has destroyed everything about me to the point I can’t remember the old me. I turn to gambling to block out life’s problems hoping I got lucky and had a big win. It never happened. Even if I did win it was all gone the next day. I knew I would lose yet i still continued to gamble- the urges took a hold of every emotion in my body and tormented my brain and soul.Â
Life savings gone, self respect gone, a peaceful mind gone. I have lost so much to this evil disease, we all have, but today I have chosen to accept what I have lost and slowly get my life back.Â
Today is a painful day but tomorrow is day 1 for me. I plan on updating this post daily/weekly to remind myself of the torture I have endured and keep myself accountable.Â
I know this new journey will be hard at times but it’s the peace of mind we all desperately want and deserve.Â
It's a hard day. Fearful. Scary. People angry with you, guilt. Money lost life changed etc etc. Wish you luck I attended ga for 4 years and I got alot of stuff out but sometimes need to go deeper. I didn't actually resolve my life issues and had to stop ga cus of covid. But least I didn't gamble. Then never went back I wasnt complacent and thought abt not gambling daily. But then the issues flare up like work and home and you see things that look easy like these stock market swings. So u have a go. Then u forget even if u win u never stop. And u chase etc. I recently did it on stocks after all this Trump. Business I blocked and stopped now but a years worth of damage done I can't get back. I see it as time as you get older I'm killing my life gambling and I just can't let go. It will stay forever. Just have to control it and respect the animal.Â
@4kxr5cyp18 Thankyou for your comment and insight. Everything you say resonates with me especially even if we win we never stop as it just isnt enough or we get greedy and lose it all. The stock market recent dip and swings, I too have noticed and planned on "investing" but we all know its just a different name for Gambling.
The amount of money and time lost and wasted over the years has deeply affected me mentally and physically, all I want is to find myself again and begin to build up my confidence and hopefully find peace. I actually crave the peace, I want my mind to rest and the only way this is possible is without gambling in my life.
I wish you the best of luck in your journey, we can and will beat this demon.Â
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