evening,
i am new to all this but been looking through the forum since yesterday and this seeems like a good place to start on the road to recovery.
ive been gambling since I was 10 years old, innocently playing fruit machines in the arcades with my friends every weekend for as many hours as are money allowed us. Have been a work aholic my whole life aged 12, 3x paper rounds baby sitting 3x nights a week and cutting people’s grass, roughly worth £50-£60 per week for all off them, every penny wasted in slot machines or online poker. This continued until I was 16 and this is when life became really bad.
I remember walking into my local bookmakers aged 16 and the women behind the counter asking for my I’d, being only 16 I handed over my driving license and too my surprise this was accepted and this was the beginning of several thousands pound losses, I have always worked never been unemployed for longer than 24 hours so money has never been a issue. I would gamble £1600 every month without fail and wouldn’t care at all obviouslywould have wins but soon would end up in the bookmakers bank also.
this continued for several years until I hit 18, things got even worse gambling £2000+ a month racking up payday loans, provident loans overdrafts anything I could think off I had it and I wasn’t paying it back.
lofe became very difficult I became depressed fed up and sick off gambling which is when I tried giving up the first time, I attended counselling once a week but finding my self telling him what he wanted to hear, continued gambling even while attending the meetings and never showed no desire to quit.
I continued along this path until I met my guardian angel she has been a rock to me, she has turned my life around, with debts totalling £10k and ccjs atc, after 6 months off hard work and commitment I am now debt free! Not to be confused with gamble free, I am very much in the vicious circle off throwing away several hundred pounds a month would be more but my partner is in control of majority off money, she runs my business accounts and runs my payroll for my employees. In any one time if I had access t9 these accounts the concicences could be major tens of thousandd lost but we take the steps and I don’t have access to these.
After 15 years off gambling I am truly ready to give up tofay is my first gf day and I am committed to making this last. My first real test will be when we go on holiday as the boat we are staying on has a casino. I’ll be posting most da6s and will keep everyone updated on my progress. I am very much different to a lot of people on here as I am not debt ridden no more but one thing we all have in common is we are all compulsive gamblers and none off us can tell each other why we are hell bent on making ourselves miserable.
Well guys been a very busy day, I’m glad too say another day gf, had a few bad thoughts didn’t help got a £20 tip off a customer today no one knew about it but resisted . Always helps keeping my self busy at work. Got an early start tomorrow so going to hit the sack and continue my journey tomorrow.
Keep it up mate not easy but worth it
I know and have felt the benefits, and also know th lows off losing thousands. This time I’m not looking back.
Cheers for comment
.
Really tough day today no work, sun is shining plenty off racing on the tv need to keep with it decided to fill my time with work paperwork 6 weeks behind so now seems as good time as any.
Pathetic really lasted couple days back on the wagon update soon so gutted can’t describe my feels right now
Well I spent180pound did reach £4400 pounds end up with nothing ready to give up on everything at the moment but tomorrow is a new day let the challenge begin
Pavingking - I hope you managed the day without a bet. Day 1 for me also - not easy, but it’s a start
Hi, just after a nightmare Saturday, brushed my self down and started again today is my second day and feel positive and great had a really bad urge today even logged in and clicked deposit before I clicked the x and continued my gf life. Hope you are also continueong Kensington. This addiction can’t and won’t beat us all
Hello Pavingking,
The fact that you're still able to have the chance to deposit that easily shows you don't have good enough blocks. This addiction gets serious and until you get serious against it you will continue to struggle. If you REALLY want to stop then you have to take the basic steps to block your access to it. Otherwise the cycle will continue. Theres always a chance to beat it but it gets harder and your problems run deeper for as long as you let it remain in your life.
Check out Mixers post about what steps to take etc, linked below
http://www.gamcare.org.uk/forum/want-do-something-read
All the best
Pavingking - I’ve signed up to gamstop - it will exclude you from all online U.K. licensed gambling websites. If you’re serious about quiting signing up will make life easier - it removes one of the temptations
If you’re not ready to do that the perhaps worth reflecting on why not ?
Cheers Evening guys, I am deadly serious about stopping, I’m so busy hard to find the t8me to put in place all these blocks however I’m just in from work and the first thing I have don’t is take your advice and all signed up to gamstop, now going to have my dinner and then I’ll put some more blocks in place. How is your journey going Kensington hope your still on board. This has got to be the hardest thing I have ever done and I’ve boxed for 15 years and that’s hard but this is someth8ng else. I’m nearly at the end of day 3 and I’ve not had many thoughts about gambling maybe because I’m so busy with work atm, I have access too about £20 so it’s not the fact I don’t have money. All signs are good at the moment. Got my first session with the gambling counsellor Thursday so we will see how that goes, I’m in two minds weather to see a doctor about depression also what you guys think ? Anyways shower food and then I’ll have a chill and look at some more advice and steps I can take.
Well done. Paving
Hi Paving - I’ll be interested to hear how you get on with the gambling counseller and what their advice is.
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what got me here and what I get from it that has resulted in the relapses I’ve had - not sure I know yet
I’m a dad of 2 young kids, so whilst I want off the emotional rollercoaster of the day to day gambling, I also really want to learn and understand from my mistakes so I can be a good dad and teach my kids properly
Hi guys, quick update stil gf 6 days now, been so busy with work it’s hard to update, I had to cancel my meeting counselling due t9 work commientme t however rearranged for next week. Not had many thoughts about gambling and life is good at the moment. Will have a major update Sunday. And I’ll be a week gf by then, have a lovely weekend everyone and stay gf.
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