15th August 2017 - Today I feel sick!...

Hi Moorey,

I'm sorry to hear you're in the wars. But, guess what - same here.

I'm on Day 4 and, like you've said in your first post, want to get to Day 100. So, let's start again and do this, ok, shoulder to shoulder. We'll gee each other up, and, importantly, keep it real.

I'll post on your diary daily, and you on mine? What do you say; we have history !!!

All the best, Mixer.

Mixer wrote:

Hi Moorey,

I'm sorry to hear you're in the wars. But, guess what - same here.

I'm on Day 4 and, like you've said in your first post, want to get to Day 100. So, let's start again and do this, ok, shoulder to shoulder. We'll gee each other up, and, importantly, keep it real.

I'll post on your diary daily, and you on mine? What do you say; we have history !!!

All the best, Mixer.

Deal, Mixer!... 🙂

Let's fight this together! We can do it.

I'm ready for this....

1 day gamble free.

Small beginnings.... but we all have to start somewhere.

Had some major urges already, I can't lie.

But just for today, I promise myself that I will NOT gamble.

Taking it one day (one hour) at a time. I want success.

Reading so many diaries this morning of people finding that success, and with it, lots of happiness. I want that myself.

You're right Moorey - we all have to start somewhere. Ok - this is the first footstep. Today - you will not gamble. We have a pact, for today, and I will not gamble either. I'm on Day 5, not much further ahead but every single day counts.Tomorrow, we will review our pact. But we will get today completed first. We can do this. We can succeed. Let's enjoy today!

Well done on your one day gamble free, this recovery lark is all about taking one day at a time, if you can get through today then you can start again tomorrow and the days and weeks will quickly add up. I hope you stick at recovery and I hope you find the way that works best for you. Good luck buddy.

2 days completed without gambling.

Setting myself small targets.

My first target is always 4 days for some reason. That's a number I consider to be 'on the way' to starting my recovery.

The fog is beginning to lift already after a hazy couple of days. Yesterday I felt like a zombie.

I'm still smarting from the losses and I desperately want a quick fix to make it all better again, but I know there is no such option. I have to stay patient and ride it out.

The money WILL come back again if I stay patient and gamble free. The amount I've spent over the last 6 weeks through gambling is a massive indicator that it will. It has to. Where else could it go?

I have to keep telling myself this!

I don't even need to cut back on things for a while to make it up, I just need to remain gamble free for a short period of time (and eventually beyond) and it'll be back.

Easier said than done eh! Ha!

Onto the 3rd day....

Big urges to gamble on Day 1...

But no urges whatsoever to gamble on Day 2.... it was the furthest thing from my mind. It actually made me feel sick just thinking about it.

Lets see what Day 3 holds in store...

Good, good, Moorey - holding steady. Just remind yourself of those sick-to-the-stomach moments you get after a big loss - and how empty you feel. That'll get you through Day 3 🙂

As we head into Friday, I've stumbled across a quote that is quite fitting and a true description to my own past gambling habits..... Insanity!

Albert Einstein defines insanity as "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results...."

Very true!... Why did I suddenly think that after years of failing in placing bets and spinning the roulette wheel, that the overall results of this would suddenly change!?!? It's ALWAYS destined to fail and lead me down a long, miserable road.

You've got it in one, Moorey; Einstein certainly wouldn't have been a gambler!

I believe the more we study, the more we think about gambling the higher our distaste for it as we realise the simple truth. And that is, even if we win, we lose because we ALWAYS follow the same pattern; as Einstein would definitely attest:

When we gamble, in a given session (be it a minute, hour, day, week or months), we always follow the three steps below.

1. We will lose.

2. We will win, and then (Step 3)

3. We will carry on until we lose more than we won. In other, words, we go back to Step 1.

Yes, we always lose!

I think, Moorey, that seals it for today and, the weekend while we're at it. GF it is!!

Have an enjoyable day mate!

Mixer

3 days completed without gambling.

The sense of loss is still there for me and probably will be until payday in 11 days where I begin to make amends and move some more money across to my savings.

Let's all make it a gamble free weekend.

Good - 3 days under your belt Moorey.

As you say, this is a time when the gambling of the past really hurts. It's a heavy price, but these next 10 days should set you up for when you do get paid and remind you not to do a repeat.

Another day tomorrow, and another day GF Moorey - that'll do for now!

All the best

Mixer

Hi moorey just reading your post an I'm sorry you slipped back into gambling!but glad u are back on track an 3 days down

I'm 61 days gf now an I can honestly say my life is completely different already an that was down to the 1st post I read on hear 61 days ago,yours!it was so helpful an really propelled me to think this is it!!my life as got to change!an it has an I'm still on the £1 a day so I'm always a winner £61 up 🙂

I've still got a long road I no but I can honestly say I don't intend on gambling again!i said to myself it's either 'life' or 'gambling' an I'm definitely choosing life!! An I've read back through your post an u said about telling your family and friends close to u,I would definitely advise u to do this as soon as possible because it helped me no end!it took a lot off pressure off my shoulders,cause if I ever have a down day they are there to support me an get me through it!

So good luck fella on your new recovery an I no if any1 can make 100 days an a lot more you can thanks again

Hope 28

Hi moorey

Thanks for your post on my diary.You have 3 GF days completed already-thats great i think the early days are tough.

Love the einstein quote re insanity i can certainly relate to that too!

Try not to be too hard on yourself about the sense of loss, you cant change whats happened but you can control your future.

I would encourage you to talk to someone a friend or family member, i know it can be daunting but coming from someone who has done this recently it has helped no end. They can provide support and advice but more importantly i think it helps not to bottle up all your feelings about gambling.

Wishing you a GF weekend

Annie x

Ho Moorey , thanks for your kind words on my diary , much appreciated . Great to have you back with 5 days GF . Early days but it can be the early days of a happier life for you .

Your fully aware of all the strategies and coping mechanisms so its just a case of implementing them with gritted teeth and a cheery smile .

Admittedly the thought of not gambling can be a bit unpalatable , but has time goes on and your taste buds change you might start to enjoy a gamble free life . You know their is nothing to lose as the gambling life is getting you nowhere anyway .

One day at a time ..... We can't win because we can't stop .....You can do it Moorey .... Best wishes stephen