2 Big Steps

Hi Kevin,

I was just about to log off and something made me read this!

Although I'm 12 weeks gamble free you've been braver than I have been as I still have never told anyone of my addiction. It must be a weight off your shoulders?

I said to myself 85 days ago that I'd wake up every day and look in the mirror and promise myself I wouldn't gamble that day. It has worked for me - just try it. Ignore everything else and just make that a focus for the day.

It's a very lonely thing and I hate that I feel I can't tell anyone but it's great you have. Make sure you keep posting and speaking about it as it does make it easier. I definitely know how u feel!

All the best for the meeting tomorrow

Stu

Hi Kevin,

Brave steps indeed. Releasing the shame and guilt is a huge leap in your recovery. Next payday, make sure you are safe, blocks in place, try not to be alone and reward yourself when you get through. It's not easy and is all consuming but if you really want something then it's very achievable. Stay strong and never get complacent. You have love in your life. Be thankful for that but don't forget to love yourself. I speak from experience. You can't do it for anyone else but yourself. Take care. I look forward to reading your diary.

Best wishes.

Againstnature.

Thank you both for your support. I'll post tonight on how my session went

Well done Kevin

It does help talking to someone. Good thing bout this site is you can say exactly how you feel and no one would look down on you. It helped me a lot .

Take care and good luck for your 1-1

GR4Y

(15 days happier)

So first counselling session. It was great. I feel really positive. So positive in fact that I decided to ring my bookies to ask them to stop serving me permanently. Guess what they are ex directory. You have to physically go in and humiliate yourself in person. Absolute ba&stards. It's not enough they have made thousands from me. They now want me to embarrass myself in front of relative strangers. Unbelievable.

Hi Stuart

Thanks for your reply. I know what your going through buddy as I've kept this thing to myself for years. Focus on your 85 days clean. Celebrate and be immensely proud of your achievement. It's extraordinary. I can only dream of achieving 85 days. Keep in touch. And well done mate

Hi Mate

Don't be ashamed of going in and self excluding! You might just make someone else think about it if you do it. They are usually very discreet and in my experience they were relieved I did so as they knew I was in trouble with gambling. Go in and hold your head up high make sure you have two photos of yourself. I use photocopies as it can work out expensive in big towns. SE is such a saver as it gives you some time to think things through before you start the journey miles away for a bet. Keep posting and going to counselling it really does work. Telling someone as well really takes the power out of our "Dirty little secret"

Take care

Thanks Smiler

I am going in tomorrow. Isn't it amazing how positive this place can make you feel. The support from everyone is truly inspiring, your post is genuinely appreciated.

K

I am with Smiler. Self exclusion is a liberating and positive experience. Scary at first but I went on to do it in every bookies in town after the first one. Stand tall and proud. Best wishes. AN.

Don't be ashamed to self-exclude. It's a massively courageous step.

When I told my best mate about my problem (the first person I told) I was nearly in tears saying how ashamed I was. She stopped me and said "There's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. You've worked out that you've got a problem and you're doing something about it and asking for help. That's brave and smart."

So I'm passing on her wonderful words to you. 🙂

Echoing the others - you will be nervous the first time but hold your head up high and be proud that you're getting yourself sorted as you self-exclude.

All the best

FF

Hi mate

You're right they really are b*stards! But you've done the right thing. The more difficult it is to gamble the better. Just think you're having the last laugh as you're never going to give them a penny of your money again.

And I posted saying I couldn't imagine getting to 30 days. And now I'm at 87. The days honestly stack up so quickly and before you know it you'll wake up and be. 85 days gamble free.

I've never tried counselling for some reason I've always kept this to myself and my blog is the only publicity of my previous addiction. Did you take a lot from it ?

Keep up the good work mate

Stu

Stu

I'm now day 3 and really feel positive.

I would definitely recommend counselling. It has really helped me and I've only had one session. It made me realise I have to share with as many people I feel comfortable with doing so.

Day 3 is massive for me. I can only imagine how proud you must be to get to over 80 days!!!

Counselling isn't for everyone mate but it has worked for me so far. I'll post every week on how it's going.

3 days free..... Wohooooo

Well everyone despite counselling and sharing I lost a lot today. I self excluded from my regular bookies only to walk in to another one. I don't feel sorry or angry just silly and weak. I was doing pretty well. Only good thing now is I've got no cash so I can't gamble for 2 weeks, I'm going to use these 2 weeks to sort myself out and start again. Hope your all doing well out there.

K

Hi K

It is tough trying to get yourself to stay stopped. The counselling may have rattled a few old skeletons in your cupboard and made you run for your safety blanket of gambling. As long as you can learn from your mistakes you are nearer to getting this great gift. You sound like, to me, that you want to change your life around. That is exactly what has to happen. You and you alone have to change your life around. No one can do it for you but people around you can help and support. Keep positive and do the right things and the right things will happen

Take care