Again, apologies as its been a while! I know it's not 2018 yet, but thought I'd start early! Christmas has been absolutely, amazingly wonderful!! To buy the presents I bought for family....which I put hours of time and thought into...who'd of thought?! Gosh, I couldn't even barely buy a Christmas card at one point- through my gambling haze! I spent Xmas with my family and truly enjoyed every minute of it! I remember most Xmas days for years waking up with that sickening gut feeling that on Xmas eve you blew all your money-again! And had applied for ANOTHER pay day loan, after another and that your 'New Year' was infact going to be spent in the horrible cycle of debt, gambling, depression, sleepless nights, just existing. I remind myself frequently of those days and feelings, not at all because I want to dwell on them, but I must remind myself how far I've come, how bad of a place I was in. I've come to terms with the past, what is gone is gone, but I can make a better future because I've been given the chance to change. I'm so excited for this New Year, I'm going to my friends for wine and chocolate night-might seem boring to some people, but it's perfect for me, as a few years ago I just simply wouldn't of gone. I'd of stayed at home and gambled all night, waking up to another rubbish year ahead! But I'm celebrating the fact gambling hasn't ruined my Christmas and that in two months time, yes two months; I'll be DEBT FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Again, I'm well aware getting in debt was my own fault, but trust me I've learnt the hard way and will never go back to the cycle of debt and pay day loans again! I've already set up another savings account with a small amount in for now, but will be paying in monthly. I'm just so excited about the year ahead! To anyone who isn't having a good day, stick in there-hold on...it's worth it, trust me! Well as I've rambled for a while now, I'll stop and leave you with this....make 2018 your year. The past is the past and no amount of guilt, punishment to yourself will change any of it. All that can change is the present and future. The only way to make a brighter future is to keep fighting, keep doing what ever it takes to keep you on the right road. Show a hand to others this coming year, because no matter how rich or poor you are, what mistakes you have or haven't made in the past, everyone needs a helping hand at some point in their lives, and that helping hand you give may just change that persons life forever. Wishing you all a happy, healthy, gamble free 2018.
Much love Cx
Lovely post and well done. Having had a hugely depressed Xmas, i’m already looking forward to this time next year, and hopefully feeling as good as you do. Letting go of the past and the guilt is the big thing for me (and at times I’m sure I’ll miss the thrill of the gambling) but success stories like yours certainly help. Have a great new Year and 2018. Rich x
Hi Rich, thanks for posting. I 100% get your guilt and regret of the past. Looking back, I had so many awful Christmas days (my own fault) but what I mean is, I really would never have imagined the feeling of a truly, magical Christmas ever again....I've witnessed it, by heck it's been blooming hard, but 100% worth it. Which is something you can absolutely have your self this next next year. This time next year, you might (everything crossed) be the one writing a positive post about how fabulous your Christmas has been, and you might be that lift up for the persons who is just starting their journey. It's totally within your reach, but blooming heck will it be hard, but things that are always hard are worst fighting for, or we'd never appreciate the good, simple things in life. (That's what I tell myself anyway) Not sure if any of that actually makes any sense-apologise. But what I'm trying to say is, you can feel this good next year. I truly never thought I would again! I've spent this year, in tears looking back at the stupid things I've done, time I've wasted, money thrown away, debt i was in, but then I realised crying wasn't going to solve my problems, infact just make them worse. I like to believe in the magic of the world (which at Xmas I do 😉 but I also knew that a Fairy Godmother was not going to appear and make all my problem go away, so I had to let them go and do what o could to make things right, better for the future. Again, had terrible days and sometimes spent days in bed feeling the world was against me, but always managed to give myself a shake. I truly hope 2018 is the start of a wonderful new life for you, Rich. All the best, stay strong and happy new year. Cx
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