Over the years have gambled, before computers it was Arcades. Managed to break free from them but then found could gamble online without all the secrecy and sneaking out to Arcade, making up any excuse. Used to turn mobile off so didn't have to answer.
So found could gamble online when everyone out so no need for secrecy except for the ongoing debts I ran up.
Got divorced (money debts didn't help but not only reason) so found could gamble online guilt free as has my own place, just me and my dog. Have squandered so much over the years reckon I could have bought a blooming mansion! Hadn't gambled for 4 months as gave friend my bank card an used to transfer cash to savings card so could only get cash. Even got to stage didn't think about gambling. Then we all went on holiday so had my card back. All fine until we got home, within 2 days those itchy want to play feelings came back an spent 250 just in 3 days. Nothing compared to thousands I used to spend but hated the feeling of betrayal I had towards my family an my friend. Told her an gave her card back so know I can't play. Did the usual exclusions as well.
Just hoping one day I could be grown up enough to control my finances but can't see it hapoening
Hey there.
I'm afraid we never fully grow up do we.?The only way it seems is to let someone who loves you treat you like a baby. I guess that's what I am. My friend is currently looking after my cards. I am fed money for food and petrol.
Take it easy and don't beat yourself
Hi Mary-Jayne, welcome to the forum 🙂
You may be surprised about ever being able to control your own finances down the line but it's going to take an awful lot more than just cutting off your money supply now I'm afraid! All that does is stop you from gambling, it doesn't get to or tackle the root cause of why we do it. With a divorce behind you, there's going to be some pretty painful memories I'm sure but with the right tools & a lot of hard work, you will be able to live a life without gambling!
Have you thought about getting some counselling either through your GP or the helpline (GamCare provide it free of charge) and, or considered GA? I'm the littlest, oldest laydee in my group & I'm still the right side of 50 but it's pretty ageless/sexless/raceless etc to be honest so you would be welcomed with open arms. I spent a very long time thinking money made me happy but then used every bit of energy I had squandering it...Addiction is a lonely place & as wonderful as our furry friends are, they can't stop all of our hurt. Being a compulsive gambler isn't so much a gambling problem, it's an us problem & I'm still fighting my whys but I'm starting to understand that being in my gambling bubble protected me from a crazy world that I never even realised was crazy @ the time! I'm learning to forgive myself & am very much back in charge of my finances again now, with little more than a beady eye watching over me occasionally.
I heard 60's are the new 40's (only have to take a peek @ Abstainer's diary, Staying strong to end the misery to see why)...Time to take control back & show addiction the door - ODAAT
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