a different strategy

Day 4 - Monday

Extremely tired this morning didn’t sleep well at all last night over thinking however with tomorrow off work i think i will just about survive lol

Went looking at new cars with a friend yesterday (not for me ) but i did see something i really liked but with a 17K price tag i was dreaming.....maybe one day if i finally beat this thing

Got into work this morning to find we are actually being paid early this month before Christmas ....not entirely sure whether this is a good thing or a bad thing as January is going to be a longgg ride

But with losing so much money last week i won’t be turning my nose up at it

Decided to be proactive last night and get to grip with my finances.....i have around 1200 quids worth on 2 credit cards and an overdraft and about 6 grand left owing on a personal loan

I have a little savings but nothing compared to what i should have after working full time for 3 years

I plan on using the maijority of my savings now to clear the cards and the overdraft and start a clean slate

still living with the parents at the moment and whilst being extremely difficult at times it allows my disposable income to be very high and in theory i should be able to put enough away each month to clear debts quickly

anyway its late so off to bed tomorrow is another day 🙂

Day 4 - Monday

Extremely tired this morning didn’t sleep well at all last night over thinking however with tomorrow off work i think i will just about survive lol

Went looking at new cars with a friend yesterday (not for me ) but i did see something i really liked but with a 17K price tag i was dreaming.....maybe one day if i finally beat this thing

Got into work this morning to find we are actually being paid early this month before Christmas ....not entirely sure whether this is a good thing or a bad thing as January is going to be a longgg ride

But with losing so much money last week i won’t be turning my nose up at it

Decided to be proactive last night and get to grip with my finances.....i have around 1200 quids worth on 2 credit cards and an overdraft and about 6 grand left owing on a personal loan

I have a little savings but nothing compared to what i should have after working full time for 3 years

I plan on using the maijority of my savings now to clear the cards and the overdraft and start a clean slate

still living with the parents at the moment and whilst being extremely difficult at times it allows my disposable income to be very high and in theory i should be able to put enough away each month to clear debts quickly

anyway its late so off to bed tomorrow is another day 🙂

Well done on posting keep it up. You are in a great position to firstly address your current debts and secondly kill this awful addiction.

I think you are relatively young which makes me want to say don't be like me ! Be someone who has a great future ahead and not looking at yourself late on in life with a millstone around your neck caused by literally throwing your money away!

Keep posting and think of the silly old fools who didn't get a grip soon enough! X

Strange- thank you for the support yes one of my biggest fears in the world is seeing myself in 10 years in ruins i have so much i want to get out of life and if I'm gambling i quite simply can't achieve it …..

day 5-

off work today …well i say off i only work 4 days a week tuesday is a professional development day

not feeling down as such just feeling slightly underpowered, unmotivated to put it simply my head feels cloudy

i have an important exam next week which will ultimatley effect my career in the long run

to be honest I'm not prepared in the slightest for it I've tried to do a few hours on it today and i just can't concentrate enough to let it all sink in

this mixed in with Christmas approaching extremely quickly , money problems and a few social issues its all getting me down

i have this weekend which I'm going to have to lock myself in the library for if I'm going to have any chance in passing this exam

at least i guess i will be keeping busy !

also paid a few debts up this morning it felt good but going to have to be very careful with money this month or I'm going to be in big trouble the new year

Day 6- Wednesday

Some people call Wednesday the “Hump” of the week

Not quite sure i agree with this as i find Thursday as bad if not worst

Early start in work today but got to leave slightly early Aswell

Nearly completed the first week of no gambling in my opinion one of the hardest parts of recovery as it makes you let go of the last chunk of money youve lost which coincidently is usually the biggest

Reading through a few diarys on here last night and liked a part in someone’s about a gambler and they’re selective memory ( only remembering wins and never losses or pain associated with those losses)

In a way i wish i could keep this mindset im currently in forever as it clearly shows the path i need to go down to sort my life out ( stop gambling , count each and every day , pay debts , save money )

Unfortunately i know from past experiences that after a month or so this mindset begins to wear off and old habits begin to set in

I was thinking last night that i really want to go travelling in the next year or so its something which ive been meaning to do since about 18

but because of gambling and various other problems in my life i haven’t been able to make it happen and before i have any real commitments i want to see the world for a few months going to expand on this over the course of my diary

Hi Nipped.

I've read through your diary entries and you're clearly determined to stop wasting any more money on gambling.

I'm 25 now and been addicted for a long time. If I was able to go back in time to when I was 21 (the age you are now), I would tell myself to buck up my ideas and realize that gambling won't solve any of my problems. I would probably tell myself to face up to the issues that I'm having and not let gambling be some sort of distraction for those problems. Unfortunately, I didn't stop at 21 and in fact things got a lot worse for me. You sound like you have a good future ahead of you if you can stop now. Clear those small debts you have, then focus on what you want to do. You say you want to go travelling; don't kid yourself on that gambling will help you achieve that goal. It will only set you back. You can also save up for a place of your own and put a little aside as savings. Don't allow complacency to creep in and stop you from becoming what you want to be.

Good luck in your exam and keep up the posting!!

matin67 - wasn't actually going to post today but felt it would be rude not to reply to your support

thanks for the kind words its nice to hear from someone roughly the same age as me a lot can happen in 3/4 years but ultimately we are in the same boat

i said to myself at 18 i wouldn't be gambling at 21 and here i am so if i don't seriously do something about it now il be in a big mess by 25

these are the so called "best years of our lives spending them in masses of debt isnt the way it should be

fortunately what i have at the moment is more than manageable and if i really behaved myself could clear the lot in 18 months

anyway day 7 - exactly a week on from the last relapse although it feels like a month

anyway I'm I've been in a pretty good mood today nice and positive would like to keep it that way

urges have died down now apart from this i don't have enough time to go spend 2days down the casino

weekends just round the corner but going to have to work on this exam pretty much right the way through can't wait for tuesday to come and go now so i can relax a bit !

will try to post tomorrow if not some point over the weekend

peace

riday - day 8

My favourite day of the week and im absolutely shattered

Funnily enough I’ve actually had a couple of small urges throughout the day

Primarily because of the amount of expense Christmas is bringing with it I could really do with a couple extra hundred this month and the casino would be my usual option

Determined not to go back down this route though

Instead I’ve bought everything I need on credit not ideal but I suppose 17% apr is a lot better than the casino having it all

Hoping to get a few small cash gifts from family and close freinds for Christmas so hopefully this will help but January is still going to be tight

have a good weekend folks and stay on the right road !

sunday - day 9

apologies didn't have a chance to post yesterday and also not much to report

im not going to pretend that this weekend has been a barrel of laughs because it hasn't infact its been one of the most boring weekends I've had all year

the gym was about as exciting as it got

was extremely stressed and bored yesterday around 7pm after just returning from the gym didn't really think about gambling until i found all of my mates where busy

sunddenly i was struggling 21, 7 o'clock sat night and jack to do

smarten up pull couple hundred out the cashpoint try my luck ? no no no

its these thoughts that have gotten me into the mess i am in today I've got to change my thought process

managed to make myself some food and chill out for a few hours and then bed

waking up this morning hangover free and gambling free was great and i feel refreshed now

ive tackeld a particularly confusing question in my exam i was stuck on yesterday and feeling a little bit more confident

anyway just about finished my revision for the day and I've done more than enough this weekend so off out for a bit of food and a laugh with my mates

day off work tomorrow my boss took pity on my and allowed me to have it as study leave !

life aint so bad after all !

day 10

10 days has gone extremely quickly if i am honest

i have no doubt that before i can blink chirstmas will have come and gone !

anyway had today off work spent 7 hours revising and by 6 o'clock i was starting to lose my head

I've spent this evening with a friend who is completely oblivious to my issues

well i say oblivious he knows i gamble yet chooses to ignore it most of the time

my friends aren't exactly a supportive group lol

and as far as i am aware none of them gamble to the point where its a problem ......bar me

thats not to say they don't have problems of they're own that I'm unaware of

anyway this exam is starting to exhaust me now

i really will be glad to see the end of tomorrow regardless of the result

got the morning and early afternoon to do some last min revision and then its the moment of truth

will post back tomorrow with the result

stay strong 🙂

day 11

(about to go off on a little rant so feel free to jump a few posts if you like)

exam done and failed !

well i say failed ......i was marked as "not competent" so i guess i am incompetent then ?

to be honest i couldn't really give a flying f@@ck about the result and now even wondering if i am in the correct career choice

whats annoying me most is the fact that I've put 7 agonising days into revising this topic and all i get is a kick in the teeth

i was very short with my tutor who seemed not too bothered by the result either

going to seriously have to consider my moves over the holidays as i now have 2 exams to re sit along with another 4 next year

seriously considering jacking the lot in and starting something that interests me more

anyway back to the most important point of the day !!......

i didn't drive straight down to the casino to go into self destruct mode and wack 500 quid away

it was tempting but i actually came straight home so every cloud and all that !!

Hi nipped.

Sorry to hear you failed your exam. It's not the end of the World. What's your course? Maybe a different career choice is an option. You've still got plenty of time to change paths.

When I was studying for exams, two pretty big things that would make me want to gamble would be 1. Boredom and 2. Studying for exams/doing some type of Uni work. It's good to hear that you resisted the urge to give in to the addiction when you were faced with both of these things.

Just remember that some of the wealthiest people in the World failed exams, dropped out of college or uni and then went on to become a great success. Failure is seen as a big taboo in today's society. Everyone fears it and doesn't like to talk about it. But, you know what? It can be a really positive thing as well. Each failure can be a learning curve.

Whatever you decide to do, it will be better without gambling.

cheers for the support martin I've taken a couple of days to calm down but I'm seeing slightly more clearly now

im in accounting at the moment have been for about 4 years

but where as my mind is extremely business orientated and I'm good at what i do I'm not sure if accounts is just too much of a specific field as some of the legislation's and formulas make me wince

considering a move to business management

anyway

Friday - day 15

Not been on here much last few days been real busy with other things and just haven’t had the chance to post

Still haven’t gambled and 15 days has gone quick

On a shoestring budget at the moment and with a big works party next Friday one that’s not going to last a week ( more credit cards)

Gotten over failing my exam now was going to email my lecturer and cancel my place on the course in my rage on Wednesday

but eventually calmed down and decided against it

Been stressing way too much this week, having trouble with a delivery company today who are usually good caused a lot of trouble for me ( Friday the 13th curse perhaps ? )

Stress at home aswell my skins gone bad and generally feeling unwell

Feeling fed up can’t wait to do absolutely sweet fa all weekend recharge the batteries

i Wonder how many gamblers will use 13 as a lucky number today ?

sunday - day 17

very strong urges today thinking that i need to make some money quickly

managed to resist so far mainly because I'm too hungover after going out last night to make it tot the casino !

financially I'm all over the shop at the moment got this work party friday which is gonna be at least a ton if not more

can't wait for chirstmas to be over and i can get back to normal in january