Having tried and failed many times before I finally feel I can write in here with meaning.
Wrote a couple of recovery diaries before but it never worked because I guess deep down I never really wanted to stop.
Was a compulsive gambler for around 8 yrs and the addiction was really taking its toll so much so I took out a payday loan on 30/05/14 and gambled the lot on roulette in less than 2 hrs
Since that day I have managed to let go, admit I had an addiction and set about my life in an honest way.
I made a decision that I would give my everything to stop gambling just one day at a time with the support of the chatroom, netline and by telling my parents everything.
I am starting to feel the benefits less anxious, more self esteem, my debts won't increase and I don't feel a slave to this terrible addiction anymore.
The temptations and urges are sometimes there but by working plenty of hours, playing sport, handing over finances to my parents and going running again I am beginning to turn my life around.
Day 28 today and just for today I will not gamble.
Just wanted to document my thoughts and progress this is the longest I have ever managed at recovery.
Hi Garth
Very well done on 28 days that is 4 weeks being gamble free
I can relate to your PD loan because the last time I gambled on slots online I took a 300 PD loan to survive the month on but I spent it all on slots online
And that was when I had stop
Wishing you well on this journey to abstain from gambling
Suzanne x
Hi garthcrooks
Well done on getting to day 28, a great start. I too had terrible problems with payday loans 5 or 6 years ago. Think I had 4 or 5 on the go at once, even those ones where you had to go and write new cheques each month in order for them to roll over. Obviously all that money had been spent on the fobts, ended up ruining my credit record, which is only just starting to recover.
Glad you're starting to feel less anxious and better in yourself.
Best wishes
Andy
Thanks for the well wishes. It's been a rollerocaster month had to put many barriers in place but my mind is so much clearer and I can honestly say I have no desire to gamble again and that complacency and changing my thoughts, working on my character are what is most important.
I have put many barriers in place but my strength has been in deciding each day I will not gamble just for that day and ultimately in my heart not wanting to gamble knowing I cannot win because I cannot stop.
Day 30 of recovery today and i'm very motivated to achieve things at the moment and look forward to a bright future, debts decreasing and more money to spend on myself.
Day 33 today. Cant believe how far I have come.
I sit here and despite getting the occasional urges, I actually have no desire or dont ever want to go back down that horrible path of self destruction and misery.
Good week so far handing my notice in at work tomorrow and got news of two interviews.
Onwards and upwards amazing how much time and passion for life you can get back when you don't gamble.
Day 36.
Proud of myself. Didn't think this was possible.
Life is getting better bit by bit.
Hi
It's good to read your diary...I haven't gambled since the 9th of June not sure how many days that is is all I care about is that date stays the same. I see that some days you don't have any urges, I thought I was strange cos although gambling itself crosses my mind I don't have any urges.
It's great to see that your posting regularly and I see the determination in you're writing.
nice one kl. hope you are still gamble free?
Still don't want to gamble but been having strong thoughts about it today possibly due to my parents being away for a week and leaving me to manage my own money for that time. I know this time last year I gambled everyday when they were away so thats probably why i'm having thoughts.
I will not make the same mistakes though and determined to beat this.
Just got home to some good news having just got in from work got a 2:1 in the second year of my uni so pleased with that.
Imagining what I can achieve without gambling.
Day 39. still fighting the good fight.
your so right all we were is slaves to this addiction , glad to see we are not anymore
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