a new chapter

Thanx Sandra!

Well day 8 nearly done and the weekend was no where near as bad as i thought it would be... kept myself busy! that is over a week done YAY! good luck all xxx

Hi needtomoveon

you've made a brilliant start- your diary makes good reading. This is a hard journey but there are some really brilliant people on here who are here to support you and not to judge. I wish you well in your recovery, and hope that you have a great week.

Stu

Hey there needtomoveon,

Congrats on doing so well, you see weekends are not as bad as long as you keep yourself motivated. Wish you all the best and keep up good job!

We will beat it

Sandra x

NTMO,

well done on getting to where you are now, as you say it was daunting but quite easy in the end, keep up the great work it will be a long journey but one well worth taking.

Phil

Thanx guys for your support....

Well last night I had an EPIC FAIL!

I thought I was doing so well, but for some reason (mainly cause I was feeling really P*ssed off) I decided to go on the online slots. When I say EPIC - 2 months salary EPIC - the thing that really gets me is I actually won, and I have won enough to pay off my credit card and clear my overdraft(s). There wont be any of the win left - but for the first time in months I will be in credit in both my bank accounts. So why do I feel so c**P. I feel that I have really let myself and others down. I woke up this morning, probably feeling worse than if I had lost the money. I know it it a long process and everyone takes things in their own time, but I really thought i was coming along okay... it just goes to prove a moment of weakness and thats it back to day one!

anyway I guess it is a lesson learnt. I know now that even though recently I had been playing to chase that win to clear my debts, then things would be okay - actually they are not. I think in fact I know i would rather have not gone on at all and still owed this money, at least i could work and earn the money to pay it back rather than having one lucky spin. depressing really.

Anyway onwards and upwards - day one again - and believe me I have NO desire to gamble, NONE.

I start the evening job on Monday - which means at least 4 days of the week I will be working two jobs - which will leave me very little time to think about gambling, and the rest of the week - I imagine when i finish work I will just want to chill out...

Feeling a little low today, a bit set back, but I know I will beat this!!!

Keep up the good work all... L xx

Hai MovingOn.

Loved this line!

''Rather than sitting at my computer scared at how much I had lost tonight I am on here and I am smiling. That has to be a good start!''

Also love this line.

'' We cannot win coz we cannot stop''

So simple yet so true. Stick close to the diarys and keep on MovingOn and Up. Congrats on job

Hey Volcano - thank you! I think that is what I needed. It is soooo true, you can never win whilst playing....

Feeling much better now than earlier - I think coming on here helps. I am going to thank my lucky stars that last nights mistake hasnt actually cost me financially (although emotionally it was difficult) and try and take something from it. Even winning doesnt make me happy....so best to stay away altogether. onwards and upwards... oh and i like the MovingOn... much more positive!! thank you L xx

Hey Moving on:-)

You doing just fine! Just take a day at the time and will get easier. Don't beat yourself up for what happened. Trust me sometimes i sit for 10 min looking at the bonus e-mail i receive, (before deleting it after) but it's getting easier when time goes by, feeling stronger with each day:-)

Long road but we all can do it:-)

Best wishes and stay strong

Sandra

Hello MovingOn.

In your absense going to write your diary tonight.

Day 2, im doing well. Still smiling and making giant strides in this non gambling. Realised that cannot win as we cannot stop, have a newwekend/evening job and things are on the Up.

Its all good

😉

Hey Ssndra & Volcano - thank you both! day two and moving on! 🙂

looking forward to the weekend and not back at the week - this place does make me smile - far more than the online slots xx

hope everyone is doing well - onwards and upwards xxxx

Day three done...x

Hai Movingon, your diary's gathering a bit of dust there.

How's about an update.

Nothing matters in these diary's, whether its day 10, day zero or day 1001. Its areal vulnerable time in the early days and even harder to handle when we're also in admission that we've been sucked in by the gambling beast. We all fall down, yet with support on these diary's we ever prop or help each other back up.

Keep MovingOn and Up

Hi volcano & all s far orry for absence my phone broke which was my main access, my partner is a little wary of me going on the laptop for obvious reasons :$ anyway pleased to say think I am on day 14 or 15 not sure and have not checked - been so busy with the new job the last thing I have thought about is gambling bit I know I am from out of the woods yet. Anyway I am now back and hope to be able to post regularly take care all moving on xxx

Hai MovingOn.

Superb to see your still striving on. Complete no brainer in hard earned money for living rather than the gambling. Steady you go and dont work too hard, remember to live.

On your tail in stacking the non gambilng days. Abstain and maintain

Thanx volcano x

Wow I think I am on day 19/20...... That is the longest in years that I have not gambled! Quite proud of myself really. Found myself not really thinking about it too much, this time last month if I. was alone or even if my partner was asleep it would take all my will power not to go online, every advert seemed to be for online slots and I couldn't really see a way out. Now it is so nice to check my e-mails and there are not 10s or 20 emails in a row ' credit card deposit approved' and I don't have the sick feeling not knowing if my cash card will actually go through. Far from out of the woods - still get the urge but getting there. Moving on xx