A new chapter!

Thanks so much ODAAT. Also thanks Mark, I'm watching Breaking Bad again each night on tv. my third time round, such a great show.

So its the end of day 6 and its nice to not have any urges. Had a really bad night in work, I'm really angry, just need to try and chill and not stew over it. I'm off this weekend, so may be tested, but feeling more positive about where I am.

Day 8 and a tough day with several big temptations. I have only got a small amount of money which will keep me out of trouble, just enough for a haircut and some food shopping. The rest is safely in the bank and I have no access to it. Loads of sport on tv to enjoy today, I should really be out and about but I'm still really low and struggling to find much get up and go. New York is 89 days away and I am so lucky that I got my promotion in work as the extra cash will allow me to go, just as long as there are no more slips between now and then.

No bets today!

Day 9 and I got through yesterday ok and today I will also get through. Just done the update for the challenge and am now watching the football as well as flicking between athletics and tennis. Might go out for a few drinks later at a comedy club with a friend. Getting through 9 days is quite an achievement considering how hard life has been lately. But I'm plodding on and will hopefully find things easier than the have been lately!

Wow double figures today, 10 days clean which is a big achievement given how I have been feeling lately. Back in work today which will keep me out of trouble. Not carrying around much money has been a big help too. So onwards and upwards. my trip is closer and day by day I can make it happen!

Day 11 and off to work shortly, not much to report really, just got to plod on day by day. Feeling ok and no thoughts about gambling today. Just need to keep my head down and work hard because by doing the right thing I will be in New York in less than 13 weeks. No bets today!

Keep plodding on Phil, New York is around the corner.

Suzanne xxx

Thanks Suzanne! I did a rare day shift today and I'm off tomorrow so I'm going to enjoy my night and chill with a few beers. Another day without a bet, feeling a lot more in the zone now and starting to think more and more about my trip and believe that I will be doing it! No bets today.

Enjoy your evening Phil, I believe you can do it, you just have to let the gambling go, and enjoy recovery.

Suzanne xxx

Day 13 and I had a few urges this morning which I managed to get over. Was supposed to be in the beer garden this afternoon but my friends not feeling too well. So fridge full of beer, nice weather and a well earnt day off work to chill. No bets today and in a better frame of mind!

Lovely to hear you fighting the urges & the mind not being quite so disruptive now! Good skills tucking the money away...It might only earn pennies in interest but they are pennies in your pocket & not a single one wasted on gambling!

New York is only 12 weeks away...You will get there - ODAAT

Day 14 and 83 days till my trip! Thanks so much for the post ODAAT. The reality is that if I can get control over this then New York won't be my last holiday, the money I save from not gambling could pay for some more pretty amazing trips.But baby steps are needed and I need to take things one step at a time as planning ahead does put pressure on me which isnt always good. So right now all I need to do is survive day by day and then when I come back from New York I will have passed the century again and will be needing to plod on and not slip as this has always been a danger time for me. Sadly I'm back in work this afternoon, but my moneys secure and I won't be gambling today!

Glad you are back on course mate.

Keep going and the blip will be a long and distant memory! I'm still plodding on and the urges are becoming less and less but I know I must remain vigilent!

Hi Phil

Great to see your strength and positivity back, yes you can do New York, but just remember my friend it really is one day at a time, for always, to think too far ahead can be stressful, one day at a time is fantastic in it self, and with that thought, we can build up the days, accept recovery 100% and your new life in recovery, takes on another amazing journey.

Suzanne xxx

Phil.

Fella a chef I had the pleasure of working with many years ago used to say on a daily basis

'Treat each day as if it's your last because one day you'll be right'

I used to think that qualified me to spend all my hard earned and not care for my future.

The truth is I was wrong, I took too much time trying to win a life of what I saw over the fence rather than living the amazing life in my own right.

Looking forward to things is a pretty alien concept for the active compulsive gambler to believe in, because we could in action ruin the best laid plans in one gambling episode.

Don't over think things my friend.

Live for today because by making the right choice you will want to see tomorrow.

I don't think that you appreciate how far you have travelled in your recovery, fella that motorway bridge is no longer a viable option, that's something to behold.

Keep believing

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Thanks for all the feedback its really good to have the support and so many words of wisdom. So its day 15 and I will be safely in work this afternoon away from any temptation. Just got to concentrate on getting through things day by day, I won't be gambling today!