A new start

Well done, the days are stacking up.

The lack of sleep and feeling sick about the money did gradually fade for me to allow me to function normally although I don't think you can realistically ever forget about it completely but maybe that is not such a bad thing.

Best night's sleep I had after finally admiting I had a problem was a week after telling my wife and then having my first one to one counselling session. Came home at about 8.30, had something to eat, spoke to wife and was sound asleep by about 9.30 and slept for 9 hours solid. Think I just finally felt I had started down a better route and no longer had any secrets to hide.

Keep up the good fight.

Day 6 going well. Starting to feel a little better about the losses - still not great obviously but managed a full night sleep for the first time in almost a week. Onwards and upwards...

Day 6 going well. Starting to feel a little better about the losses - still not great obviously but managed a full night sleep for the first time in almost a week. Onwards and upwards...

Just checking in - 7 days GF, feeling like I'm in much better head space today

Well done WW, keep going! glad to hear you're feeling a bit better.

Thank you velvet7 for your words of encouragement.

Day 8 done and dusted. Onwards and upwards...

Good going on what will now be 9 days GF.

To to stay focussed on today and the short term future - thinking too much about the past, about mistakes we cannot change can make us feel depressed, likewise thinking too long into the future about the monies we owe and will have to pay back over months/years can cause anxiety.

Easy for me to say and type the above, but very difficult to stick to. I regularly have thoughts about past mistakes, believe no one will ever kick me as hard as a kick myself sometimes, but I know that I am on the right path now, over 30 days GF and my life is feeling like life again.

Take care and stay GF mate.

Not much to say today other than that today marks 10 day GF. Early days but filled with some optimism. The real tests are yet to come I suspect (usually the case for me is 6 months - 1 year, letting guard down) but feeling pretty good so far

Well done so far Whatswrong.

One day at a time its all anyone can do. Once we accept where we are its about where we move going forwards!

Money comes and goes just make sure its going on the right things and it'll all work itself out in the end.

Thanks sjwsjw. You're right - one day at a time and the rest takes care of itself. I see that you're doing great in your own recovery - 40 days is impressive and something I definately aspire to

Hi Whatswrong,

Thanks for the post on my diary. From reading yours I can see the similarities. For me this last time has been not just about the money lost but the time leading a double life as well. I'm certain thats were the mental aspect comes in. We change as people when we gamble and I don't like that person when gambling.
Over the weekend, I was a man possessed, driving miles from one bookies to another spending hundreds in the process, then scouring hundreds of online casinos to find one that I'm not self excluded from. Its sounds so sad to the non-gambler but so familiar to the CG.

To solve the depression I found exercise is the best cure but any hobby will do. We can create so much spare time to gamble that its a void that needs filling when we stop.

I wish you all the luck and will keep checking on your progress. Well done on 12 days, onwards and upwards

James

Thanks 'What's Wrong' for your encouraging words on my diary. No two days are the same when trying to overcome this addiction so I agree, it has to be 'one day at a time'. Truly wishing you all the best, keep going .............

Sorry diary, I have neglected you of late - been busy with work and other commitments. 15 days in now, had a few little thoughts about my money situation but nothing about gambling. It still feels like its something I don't want to touch ever again, but keeping my guard up nonetheless.

Have a good weekend all!

Over two weeks, WELL DONE!

Keep up the good work, stay vigilant, you can do this!

31 days in now, and still GF. Feeling good about this, but finding it more difficult that I hoped to let go of the losses. I know that it's gone and not coming back etc, but it still leaves an emptiness i cannot shake. In previous relapses, I've been able to get over these much sooner, but I think the scale of the last one combined with my current status (low paid job, struggling to make ends meet) has made it much harder.