A new start hopefully for real this time

Hey well done Ashley for coming here your story is all so familiar on here but you being here shows that you have the will to stop stay strong my friend you CAN do whatever you want it's up to you.

The bear

Hello Ashley,

Welcome to this forum.

I'm echoing bear's words..Everything is possible if you set your heart to it. you made the right decision signing to this forum, because we are all in the same boat and understand each over. Stay close to this site, and keep posting. It is not easy road, and you might get tough days, but as long as you keep your guard up, you will be safe.

Day at a time is best approach in this recovery.

I wish you all the best and look forward in following your recovery.

Take care

Sandra x

Thanks for the thoughts Bear and Sandra.

Day 2.

Resisting the temptation to go chasing losses. Successful so far.

Dont think the girlfriend is speaking to me, I slept on the sofa last night.

Struggling to find a way out of the financial hole I am in at the moment, simply isnt enough money in our accounts to cover everything due out.

Am feeling empty and hollow inside, am destroying a good life with my gambling. I did go 90 days without gambling a few years back and need to get into the right mindset again.

I cannot win on a fruit machine. Even if I were to win a double jackpot it only puts a minor dent (

Think of today as your first step to a long and hard journey to a non gambling life - it won't happen overnight - but taking baby steps will help to pan out the bigger picture

I'm not a gambler, but have a wonderful friend who is and is currently in residential for 3months to try to recover. I'm using this forum as a way to better understand this illness and how it effects suffers on a daily basis. I am amazed at how people don't understand what you all go through and how hard it is for you. I think that coming on this and writing to us all that you want to stop and are willing to stop is a huge step forward.......good luck and be strong

Now on Day 3.

Spoke in depth to the Girlfriend last night.

Think she is going to stay around and give me one more chance. Going to take a lot to start to build up any trust again though.

Have made a list of targets for the next few months, rewards I may be able to buy myself if I dont wastefully throw money into slots.

Have also done some maths with wins/losses, and am well on the way to convincing myself its not worth it.

Just need to keep that conviction going longer term.

Hi, your story is very similar to mine and the only thing we can be thankful for is that we realised before we got into major debt. Winning a jackpot for me I don't think would ever put even a minor dent in what I owe family/ friends because I would just put it straight back In to try and win more.

Keep it up and stay strong! We can all do this

Apologies for the lack of posting.

Now on day 34, doing very well. Everything is settling down. Managed the holiday with the girflriend, was an amazing time.

5 days in Vegas (booked before my latest lapse) and 5 days in New York.

Can honestly say I wasnt even tempted in Vegas. None of the machines I saw there seemed to have features, just spins which are clearly just chance and no skill. Didnt spend a single dollar in the casinos.

Slightly low bank balance which will mean a lean month but at east I have a positive experience for it this time rather than an empty feeling inside.

Already planning a winter sun holiday for Feb/March time which is easily achievable if I dont throw money away on gambling.

OVerall feeling very positive, and things with the GF are much better after the holiday.

Shes at work today and Im at home, going to go do some tidying up and sort some washing from the Holiday, quite nice to be having a day at home without thinking can I spare some money/find some money to have a quick gamble with.

Somewhere around day 150, and back here for some motivation. Am doing well, haven't gambled, haven't thought about gambling that much.

Finances are all in order and there lies the problem. Much like last time I stopped for a few months, all the bills are paid, and there is some money left in my bank account. On its own not a bad thing, the problem is the last couple of days I have been thinking what harm could a quick go on the fruity do, you can afford it. Have resisted so far, as I know from experience where that path leads, but as have a day off, and the GF is working need to find something to occupy myself before I do just have a quick tenner which will no doubt become far more.

Don't do it. Please don't do it. It'll ruin you, and your relationship with your girlfriend. Not only will you not win in the end, you stand to lose so much more than money. Go shopping, cook a nice meal for when she gets home, anything but the gambling. Please.

Annnie

Little Christmas update on my life. All is going well. Still pretty much gamble free. Well over a year now. Slight wobble this week, got a message from an online site that I used a couple of times ( last deposit was day of my first post, Seoptember 2013) that they had given me a bonus in my account for Christmas. I have lapsed slightly in that I played with the bonus, but havent deposited anything. I know its partly my fault for not having closed the account, but it makes me so mad that they clearly try to sucker people back in!

Other than that, life without gambling is going well, still get the odd urge to play fruitys especially if down the pub, with people I dont know that well, but havent given in to them!

Have a holiday booked between boxing day and New Year, planning on proposing to the GF who somehow is still with me. Looking at saving up a deposit to buy a house, save wasting money on rent. Everything is looking good. Even had money to buy decent Christmas presents for the my family and my girlfriend, not scraping things together at the last minute for possibly the first time since I have been an adult.