Not only do some people have no money, some people don't have what we have.
Like being able to type on here and share.
LIke having a family.
Like being able to use all of their senses fully.
Like being in a recovery journey.
Yes, we all have our own problems but there is always someone else worse off and we really do have do thank ourselves for what we HAVE got.
Have a good evening.
GT
Oh Elizabeth!
Therein lies the problem...'It's just the guilt I feel' 'I should be able to do it' 'I'm very teary which is unlike me' 'all I can think is grow up'
You are very hard on yourself aren't you? Try to have some compassion for yourself, and let yourself feel however you feel without judging yourself. Ban the word 'should' from your vocabulary immediately! awful word that we use to beat ourselves over the head with!
Take care,
f x
Ps - there is nothing wrong with being vulnerable. When we bottle these feelings up and deny them, we gamble.
Thank you Freda for some more words of wisdom.
I am hard on myself but im finding it very hard to except what ive done and who i became i have like ive said before excepted money gone but its the rest of the cr** im finding hard to put to one side.
Bills mounting up,illnesses etc it just feels like 1 step forward 5 steps back but as SA says i have alot more than alot of people and eventually i will get myself on an even keel financially.
I received a letter today about my rent arrears which arnt huge but they make it sound like its the end of the world.It really annoys me it will be up to date on friday but the woman was so rude and uncaring it took all my willpower not to tell her to f*** off.
Anyhoo enough of my whinging and feeling sorry for myself hope everyone is doing good.
No gambling today No gambling tomorrow.
Stay Strong.x
"No gambling today. No gambling tomorrow."
That last statement that you made really said it all.
Yes, you may be feeling down about your past mistakes but remember that they are in the PAST.
What REALLY matters is what you are doing in the present and what you intend to do in the future.
Christmas will come and go and just think about what your next Christmas will be like when you continue staying away from this evil gambling world.
Stay strong and stay very positive, you ARE doing very well!
GT
Hi Elizabeth,
I've just caught up with the last few pages of your diary - it sounds like you're having a tough time right now. I'm afraid I've no words of advice for you, at least none better than those already offered.
I just wanted to say you should take great pride in remaining strong through times like this. Rather than beat yourself up over past mistakes take time to appreciate the success you are achieving in not repeating those mistakes, especially while your defences are down a little.
Stay strong. (I'm stealing your lines now!)
James
Hi Elizabeth. Thanks for your post on my diary 🙂 love getting support off people especially at times like this when my willpower is so weak!
Have been reading over your diary and just wanted to tell you that you are doing so well. I know this time of year is very tough but just remember that Xmas is only one day and once that day is over you can look forward to a new year and a new beginning. Just think how much better off financially you will be this time next year if you have still quit the gambling. I think we're all going to be in the same boat this year...trying to ensure that we don't increase the debts too much but trying to make sure our families have a lovely time also. You're in the fortunate position that your family will at least know why things are so tight...my husband doesn't have clue!!!
Lots of Love
Shorty xxx
Thanks ADE,JAMES & SHORTY for your support your right shorty its times like these that posts give you a little lift.
Still not feeling great cant quite get out of this dark,teary mood.Have got my head round christmas now and ive stopped worrying about it.What will be will be.
Not sleeping to great either but its weird its not tossing and turning getting cross because i cant sleep i just lie there not really thinking or stressing just cant sleep although im tired then feel knacked for work.
The force has been strong today but the force can go shove its self.
No gambling today No gambling tomorrow .
Stay Strong.x
Another week over and another payday and within 2 hrs of being paid im skint but thankfully not because of gambling because i paid what bills i could to take any temptation away, no money in the bank no money for gambling.
Quiet evening in with the boys then into town tomorrow for haircuts.
Thankyou to everyone for a week of supportive posts mood starting to lighten abit.
Stay Strong.x
Dont feel as dark today as i have been most of the week or really last couple of weeks.
Off to get the boys haircut soon then home to clean out the fridge noticed how minging it was last night should be enough to fight urges i dont seem to be able to shake off.
Hope everyone has a good weekend.
Stay Strong.x
Sounds like you have a great plan in place - no money within 2 hours of paying your bills.
Enjoy your day of housework and keep fighting of those evil, demon urges.
GT
Hiya Elizabeth,
Well done for getting through very difficult times this past couple of weeks. The stress of having very little money, the guilt we feel being a mum and a gambling addiction can play havoc with our emotions. I hope paying the bills gives you a bit of peace of mind..and that you feel in someway your getting somewhere. Keep fighting the good fight.
Love Delx
Thankyou everyone for the support.
Well the little urges dont seen to want to go away but cleaning my minging fridge helped and the boys and i went into town [although i think theyve cut LOs hair abit short]treated the boys to lunch out and have just tryed to keep busy as this seems to be the only way to fight the urges.
This really is getting tough and i have to say that the giving up smoking isnt going very well but once ive really got on top of the urges then ill give giveing up smoking another ***.
Seeing my dad and stepmum tomorrow which always seems to wind me up so will have to be on top mentally but we are going for something to eat out so just got to keep my mouth shut for about an hour and half.
No gambling today No gambling tomorrow.
Stay Strong.x
o*g ive just counted up and today is 31 days with no gambling i cant believe it ,ive been so fixated on money problems that i hadnt realised it was that long.
I stopped counting days after my slip and now im so glad i did as it really dosent feel that long.
Well this gives me the incentive to plough on through december and christmas and bring on the new year as i want 2012 to be my year.
If i drank i wounld have one but i dont so ill have a cup of tea and one thing that has got me through is this forum and the kind and thoughtful people who are on this tough journey i wished id found it earlier .
Heres to another 31 days.
Stay Strong.x
Elizabeth, i just wanted to say congratulations on 31 gamble free days, you should be so proud of yourself, that cup of tea is soooo well deserved 🙂
heres to the next 31 and the 31 after that, roll on 2012, i feel it is going to be a great year for all of us on here.
Thanks ADE & PAT
Im very chuffed with myself just got to get through this week financially which i will do by a rizla paper its going to be close.
Then i can start a new month with no illness or cancelled jobs which should put me back on an evenish keel with money oh yeah then theres christmas so that will skint me out but today i dont care will probably whinge about that next week lol ;0)
No gambling today No gambling tomorrow.
Stay Strong.x
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