A not so secret diary of a compulsive gambler

morning andrew,

just reading the last few entries of your diary, like a few have said, i wish you the best of luck with Mrs ADT, however your children will always be your children and that will never change. we all have our good days and bad days but its about overcoming the negative thoughts and remidning yourself how far youve come and how much things have improved.

Things will get better and take each day at a time, stay strong fella
Have a great weekend 🙂
Ben

One day at a time Andy. Remember that. No point worrying about the future. But quickly, you said you can't control it? You already are mate. You couldn't control when you are gambling (it controls you) now your not gambling! You have taken control back not just of that but everything will now fall into place. Keep going mate!

Day 28 4 weeks. Pretty good number. Drinks with friends after work last night was good. Untill i got on train alone..... Gonna knock drinkin on head for a few weeks now to much going on reach a point and get down as start thinking. Need a clear head. So gonna get daughter soon have a picnic and see some family. Stay gamble free everyone

You know what 28 days is fricking awsome lol cant belive im 28 days gamble free haha!!!! Feel positve. Just had a measage from my wifes friends asking how i am told her exactly how i am hope she feeds it back. You know what im on the mend!! I just remembered i was drunk last night money in my pocket and didnt have an urge to feed the machines 4 weeks ago i would have been filling them up. Postive vibes people!!!

Good for you Andy !! And yes my friend 28 day's is" fricking" awesome and you know what ? It get's " fricking " better every "fricking " Day LoL !

Lovely to see you feeling more upbeat buddy , Have a " FRICKING " awseome day !!

Best wishes my friend .

Alan

Ahh then the kick in the plums Mrs adt has told me she doesnt love and doesnt ever want to get back. Tough one to accept but one iv been expecting. Generally id take this news to a fobt and have it out but nope im gamble free gonna keep it that way and try keep busy

Sorry to hear that Andy , especially after the post earlier , if you were expecting it or not , it's not something thats easy to accept but kudos to you for not running back to the fob't buddy .

You know whatever happens your going to be a much better person without gambling in your life and I'm a firm beleiver in things happening for a reason and accepting the things we cannot change , so maybe in time ,ok your futures going to be different but also much much better !.

Stay focused buddy and take it one day at a time , the teams all here for support so no need to do any of this alone !.

Alan

Sorry to hear you bad news mate and after you posted so positive earlier on its horrible when things seem to be going well them bam something throws you right back down, will be hard and painful to get past this bad time but always remember nothing lasts forever and time is a healer even if it dosnt feel like that now no matter how hard things get it always gets better eventually.

Keep strong 4 weeks is something to be proud don't let nothing or no one set you back you'll come out on top at then end!

So my daughter has laid me out. Daddy a man stayed in mummys bed the other night..... Had it out with rachel saying it aint true. But surly a 4 yr old wouldnt make that up??? I really am at the limit today . What a rubbish day

Hang in there Andy can imagine how hard your prob feeling it now, kids can get mixed up and can say things that's don't appear to be how they actually are but then in same breath they can say things exactly how it is so I would hold fire on it for time being til you feel you have something solid, truth always finds a way out so if it is true you'll know soon, but if it true she obviously isn't worth it mate if she can do that after just a few weeks you can do and do deserve better should be a time your shown support, like it's been said above I am too a true believer in everything happens for a reason!

Don't give up tho what ever you do you've done 4 weeks now and that is something worth keeping up do it for you, always follow your diary it was one of the first I read around this time last week and it's partly reason I'm here today fighting this battle.

You'll pull though this no matter what No pain lasts forever, keep strong mate all the best.....

Good post Rylex - I echo what you're saying. I wanted to post back but couldn't find the right words but you've done that for me. Stay strong Andy.

Fantastic post rylex! Andy your a good man and will get through it! You know where I am!

Well life expoded yesterday its official my had that man stayed over she lied and lied them said its true but nothing hsppend. Stinks to me im in a lot of pain but she has done somthing that has forced me to have to let her go. She told me two weeks ago she went to a solicitor to file for divorce..... Soooo gambling has ruined my marrage to the point if no return. I did everything in my control but she didnt want to know. I need to concentrate on myself and kids and get my house back gonna move into spare room tuesday. Therapy tomorrow i need it. Fed up of the pain i gave felt the last 5 weeks need to heal now

So sorry to hear that it's true, was thinking about you last hoping it wasn't the outcome you most dreaded, she obviously didn't value you your relationship like you did which definitely says too me you deserve better, I know people will argue you shouldn't of done what you did in first place blah blah, Ye maybe so but you had problems and you've done everything to change that but for her to move on that quick and not give it a chance well....

Maybe this is the closure on that you need to move on to the next step now, the uncertainty of not knowing was always going to hold you keep you at a certain level, everything happens for a reason one day you'll look Back on all this as a bad memory, as I keep saying no pain lasts forever keep strong Andy your strength is showing though everyday and it will all pay off in the end.

All the best mate there's people on here for you if you need us you'll get though this!

Hi Andy , I caught your post last night and wanted to reply then but I didn't want to just jot something down without thought .

I'm really sorry that things have turned out like this for you and it must be a huge shock to you , whatever youv'e done gambling wise you really don't deserve to have that happen so quickly and I'm a little shocked to be honest with you .

Youv'e had some great support and posts on here,especially from Rylex, the only thing I can really add is that if She think's that little of you , then maybe your relationship wasn't as sound as you thought it was ? , people react in different ways and maybe it is in retaliation for your gambling but only she can answer that , however if your going to accept that your relationship is over then you have to draw a line , think about getting yourself to where you want to be in order that you can contiunue to be the father that your daughter is going to need , you and her are your priorities right now .

As I said before were all here if you need support with anything , so just ask .

I really wish you well my friend and will talk to you again soon .

Alan