Abstain and maintain.Stepping forward never back.

Duncan,
Congratulations for making the right choices today. Life is never easy is it, we have to keep fighting and staying away from the evil habit that drains our wallets and our soul.

Your honesty is refreshing and shows what our recoveries can give back to us. We don't just stop gambling, we stop lying and being selfish.
You are an inspiration to so many, keep making the right choices and keep walking those famous hounds!
Paulds

Duncs , a couple of great posts lately. It is on my to do list to come & sample your food in the new year & hopefully share a cold one with you after service.

Dan

Morning diary.

Paulds fella thanks for popping by I have been given something amazing, an opportunity to right the many wrongs I brought to my own life, from doing so I gift myself a brighter future.

Dan fella it would be lovely for you to be able to visit my fare city and dine, and even greater the opportunity to shake your hand a share a pint after.

I have been honoured to be able to meet with a few folk from the forum in 3d, something which I have found humbling and truly enlightening because I believe that I can see the honesty in folks eyes today, and talking with fellow recovering compulsive gamblers life is pleasantly stripped back, there's no feeling of being judged for your looks or wealth, there's no peacocking, no bragging or one trying to out trump any other, just a bond,a belief in the act of recovery.

My life is full of folk trying to tell me what I should be doing with my lot, folk who judge me without knowing me, folk who truthfully are not interested in the outcome unless their own nest is feathered and I know the motives, f**k I lived that way for a large proportion of my life, I would have trodden over the wounded or weak to make myself seen,I would have twisted words to make them my own, I would have pushed anyone in front of the bullet heading my way, I would ridicule anyone to be valued higher.

The outcome?

A lonely, bitter, twisted man who felt wholly undervalued, a man who grew more self centered and over opinionated with each breath.

I believe today I have found measure, yes I can lead,I have to at work,but I value the strength of my team, i believe they value my efforts equally.

I uphold honesty, I refuse to judge folk, I no longer want more feathers than I need, I will happily gift them to anyone with genuine need.

Stopping the next punt is the most important act in my life, but it's not the answer, stopping that punt provides a foundation, one I can build upon.

Addiction is today tethered, it doesn't ride roughshod over my mind, it doesn't have the words to twist my thoughts to anger, it knows that I have taken the opportunity to grow wise to it's dribble.

In equal measure I respect that addiction will lay in wait for the rest of my days, I learnt that lesson through feeding its hunger repeatedly, I know that today I could never satisfy it's hunger, truthfully nobody can, but I have learnt through recovery how to satisfy myself.

For that I am inspired to relentlessly pursue the opportunities that lay ahead.

My name is Duncs I am a recovering compulsive gambler no bet today.

Stepping forward never back.

Inspiring post to read dear Duncs,

Your recovery journey has not been smooth sailing, but by jeez, you are showing us all it can be done, your commitment to yourself and therefore your family, and your new job, is just inspiring, you have and are working 100% at all of it,

You are truly gifting yourself now,

Suzanne xxx

Hey Duncs...just thinking...anything on the menu for Xams? I'm not the one to eat in public but hey!....anything is possible on this journey of ours ☺..since I'm skipping my work Xmas dinner (by choice) i rather attend pre Xmas feast round ur pub lol

Keep on keeping on and woofs to ur great four legged friends ( i had an awesome time spending time chasing them around the hill 😉 )

Be good, stay safe...catch ya anytime....as always unconditionally

S x

Morning Dunc's and thanks for the wise words, it does mean a lot .

I totally get what your saying regarding the posting and to be honest it gives me far more back by posting than I feel I'm giving to others , it helps me so much with my own recovery by commenting on the diary of others and I know you understand that yourself .

People come and people go , some return and some as you say are never heard of again , that feeling of losing people is something I will have to get used to the longer I hang around I suppose , it still hurts but it doesnt matter how many times you return , just as long as you do return .

I seem to be continually learning about life on here and that its not always black and white , I could maybe describe it as 50 shades of grey but wouldn't sound exactly right , would it Dunc's ?.

Thanks again my friend and Best wishes foir a gamble free day ...................................Alan

I'm waiting...What is on the menu & is it running into the New Year coz I'm covering for the colleagues with kids & Christmas is postponed in our house!

Thank you xxxx

Morning diary.

Thanks for all the kind words, this week has been the busiest since I started, I have already worked over 50 hours in the first four days of it and have three to go! Still no complaints about that I am totally committed to providing the customers something to remember. I have received more great feedback this week and one of the owners sent me a text on Monday that got me all emotional for a minute lol.

Regarding menu's ladies I am running a festive menu alongside the normal menu so there's a wealth of stuff to choose from from, it would be lovely to see you both again.

Myself I am looking at new years day as my next day off, until then the relentless schedule will dominate my life, new years day is going to be our Christmas day, a day for me to celebrate what we have, an amazing family, a desire to live life with as much self made joy as is on offer.

Sarah gets very stressed around Christmas, her desire to spoil our kids and fill up the cupboards to the point of them overflowing something that I see as a result of how she grew up, I respect it and we work through it.

Again this year it's secret santa in our house, the five of us get to buy a gift for the one person we are picked to do so and being the fact we are not having the presents until new years day the kids are extatic because they can buy in the sales between Christmas and New year so they will get more for the money.

Christmas for me brings out the best and worst in folk, the competitor comes out and the commercial world has a field day off thebback of it and I see the pressure it can bring.

I used to use that as a green light to get wholesalely at it,I would always end up burrowing to pay for Christmas because I would have gambled whatever we had in the false belief it would lead to greater purchasing power.

The truth is I had enough to start with but addiction always had me believe otherwise.

I bought into those words, those words that were my own twisting of the truth, because I was as committed to feeding addiction nothing else.

Today I believe I have a better knowledge of happiness and what creates it,for me it's not found in a shop or food hall, for me it comes through the joy of what I actually have.

I am truly blessed to have a family who I admire, respect and want to be with, a job that provides endless opportunity and true friends to share life with.

I used to willingly risk it all

Today I can see what I staked

I am wholly committed to ensuring that I learn from the repeated mistake.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi Dunc's,

Get yourself on the next series of master chef!!

Recover going from strength to strength.

Great stuff... S.A 🙂

Evening diary.

Sa fella masterchef is something I enjoy from the outside, but I would never entertain applying for the show myself because I am not in competition with anyone, I am simply enjoying doing what I have always wanted to do, that's make folk happy through my love for good honest hard work.

So I finished the week doing 88 hours of hard graft, a record breaking week of revenue and lots of fabulous feedback to accompany it.

Addiction stood in the shadows, gutted it wasn't able to impregnate my mind.

I accept it's presence, I can today see right through it's bu%ll $hit

Today again I enjoyed making the right choice

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back

Hi Dunc's , just wanted to say that when you post on your diary , you remind me of a big jam donut ?.

"Your presence brings us pleasure and your departure merely makes us hungry for more "

Couldn't resist a bit of catering humour !!.

Well done on abstaining and maintaining my friend .

Regards and best wishes ............................Alan

Hi, Duncan,

Many thanks for the post on my thread, as ever, you're spot on about him. And I will take your advice and buy a ticket.

All the best - enjoy your schedule but don't overdo it.

CW

Hi Dunc's and thank you for taking the time to post on my diary , I know that it's a busy time of year for you so I really appreciate it .

Although I realise now through the change's I've noticed in myself and my daily life just how good recovery feels , In my eyes through your continued abstinence , you demonstrate in no uncertain terms how good life can become again !.

I'm not the sort of person who would to coin a phrase , " Blow smoke up someones backside " [ was being polite there !] if I didn't feel it was justified but credit where it's due Dunc's.

Thank you my friend .

All the best for now ....................................Alan

Morning diary.

I have been neglecting you again, the truth is I have been putting all my energies into stabilising my life / work balance and based on the fact I have been working an average of 13 hours a day it's been difficult.

But doable and wholly rewarding. still a week today and life will return to a more even keel, my Inn is not doing a great deal between Christmas and New year and on new years eve there's no food just a night for the drinker's so I will start to take time back in shovels.

With honesty I am glad that the peer pressure of Christmas will be gone, I have a pretty jaundiced view of the whole thing today because for me it is simply a time for exploitation.

An example, I like those pre tubbed tasteless prawn cocktails lol, don't ask why, f**k I cook to a very high standard and have always got excellent prawns in stock, but nothing beats a pre tubbed one at the end of a day's graft, either that or some sandwich spread! !!

So in that giant supermarket where every little helps I buy my guilty pleasure for less than two quid, yesterday I went to grab one and low and behold they have jumped up a pound a pot!

On a quick inspection of staple goods on a quick browse everything has been chalked up!

Oh except potatoes and sprouts!

They are doing everyone a massive favour there!

Not in my mind, sprouts are nasty things that have ruined many a well cooked plate of food and the variety of potatoes on special offer are not good for anything except potato printing!

f**k all the uneducated folk who are going to buy them and try to roast them are in for a shock! They just turn into a squidgy oily mess!

I actually wanted to take them out of folks trollies and give them the extra quid to buy spuds that will be delicious lol.

Today I see it in black and white, addiction would have had me buy that tub of cocktail and then would have used that pound to beat me up, I would have run head first into it's arms and chased that pound until I was potless!!!!!

Yesterday I just refused to be mugged off and elected for toast.

Toast is a true delight, whether you put jam,ham,beans a fried egg or just butter it you are left feeling satisfied and if you aren't then wing another slice in the pre heated toaster and boom instant gratification!

Sarah has her works party tonight, they use their lottery winnings from the syndicate they have to fund it.

The irony being for me if they had pooled their stake for the year they would have had nearly four times the money to spend, there's an irony in that.

For a great proportion of my life I fooled myself into believing that I didn't have enough, when actually I was the owner of more than I needed, for twenty years I would willingly throw it away for nothing but an ever decreasing outlook in return.

Today I am able to see the futility of my actions

Not just with regards to my gambling but of many other things to boot.

I am inspired to keep my self respect

That is founded by a choice

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.