Abstain and maintain.Stepping forward never back.

Hi Duncs

Someone sent me this yesterday.

Cycle of Addiction

Pain
external substance/activity
temporary relief
guilt/consequence
pain

Good to have you back. I dont post often but still read the forum regularly.

Evening diary
Rob thanks for the post,don't be a stranger my friend.

Well dear diary I went labouring today, grafted hard came home feeling chipper and walked the hounds down to meet Sarah.
Our Callum phoned distraught he had used my beautiful bike pictured as my profile picture to go to the gym,locked it in the bike rack to come out and find it stolen,lock cut and left and my transport gone.
The police? f*****g useless,crime number and nothing else.
The hotel say they will look at the CCTV
Me?? I will recover my bike, I know a great deal of people in this town I call home and have an army doing the ground work.
Rational thinking? Gone!!
Revenge and rough justice the top of my mind.
Funny thing is a bike fitting my bikes description appeared for sale just two hours after it was stolen on a popular website.
Tomorrow we will be seeing said bike,if it's mine I will be reclaiming it.
If not the search won't end there.
I have done a great deal of wrong in my life.
Do I deserve this
Is this karma??
So if you see a person riding this very unique bike and it's not a big fella with a mop of curly hair tell them from me
Best you don't worry about the road ahead, best you look over your shoulder because there's a fella who will find you.
Over and out
Duncs

Hi Duncs,

Well, It's definitely frustrating for you and the family. I would be exactly the same. In fact I had my bike stolen yonks ago from workplace and it really unsettled me.

You have right to be angry. It's your belonging, You worked hard to buy it and of course it will bring many emotions out.

I do hope you can recover it quickly but also try and keep cool instead of charging like a bull in China shop going to see that fella who sells bike. Remember that your safety matters and you must think rationally here.

Can't you identify your bike (any marks from cutting the lock as you know where it was or any other scratches) & if it's the one, get police involved straight away, not showing the "seller" that you recognised it?

Just few suggestions. I understand your anger, It's human to feel the way you do. None of us likes to be robbed..its disgusting really! But I do fear about your safety so Please...stay safe!

I will get hold of you through other channels tom for the updates and truly hope all will get resolved for you soon.

Sorry to hear about your misfortune Duncan. I hope manage to find it. I would invoke Karma - such things happen to the best and worst of people. I think Karma takes care of the long run and this blip aside, your long run is blossoming.

Keep an eye in ebay. Search "Voodoo Bike" perhaps with "Hampshire." There seem to be a few on there.

Does your house insurance include bike theft insurance? Worth checking. Sorry if I am teaching an old boy to suck eggs.

Best wishes,

Mark

Hi Duncs

Stop trying to be the big man. Its likely you wont see the bike again. Did you deserve it? No, but how you react now is important. Tell the police of your finding. Yes they can be slow and frustrating, the alternative is you go to this person/location yourself and find anger cloud your judgement with a criminal. Is your safety and freedom worth a possession?

Evening diary
Sandra thanks for popping by and your messages away from the forum they fill me with humility.
Rob fella I make you wrong on this occasion, fella I am not trying to be the big man, I am doing what I am capable of, I know where my bike is and I am going about the right way to reclaim it, I live on an island, I have three children who are all adults, as a family we have a great deal of associates, through them we have gained the information we need. We have done our homework and know what we are dealing with and we will deal with it.
Regarding the police they are three days behind me and admit they are powerless to do anything because they simply don't have the time or want.
It comes down to the fact that if I wait three days then I will be two days late.
Yesterday I did something that I haven't done in my entire life, I didn't when handed the information go gung ho like I always have. I actually have thought it through and have a solid plan in place.
I can't afford myself not to, I equally can't afford to replace my bike,I don't drive and it gets me over a hundred miles a week.

Markman we like many other folk don't have contents insurance,it's something that we will be adding to the list along with bicycle locks that come with insurance in there own right.
I will learn from this a great deal.
Here is a fact that I will be sharing with many folk that I find incredible.
In the past two weeks six bicycles have been stolen from the bike racks at the village hotel Portsmouth, the hotel have failed to notify their clientele of this fact,something I find disgusting as we as a family are paying a great deal of money monthly to be members there.
Not too long ago the site where the hotel has been built on was derelict waste land and one night when riding past on my way home from work there was three travellers caravans on the land and no fewer than eight police vehicles blocking the access road to the site.
Doing what defending waste land??
Where are those eight police vehicles today ????
Defending folks property???
Not mine I am afraid.
I have a choice to live a life of my own making.
I intend to fully.
Without addiction clouding my thoughts.
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back.

Evening diary.
A busy weekend of work, tonight I got to spend some quality time with our two sons,some supper and a barrel full of laughs.
Made a pretty tough week worthy of the effort I gave it.
Tomorrow a new week begins, seven days of work scheduled so I will cut my cloth accordingly and reward my efforts the following week with some down time.
I found great value in some very decent folk this week and am humbled by their unconditional contribution to my life.
I am inspired.
Addictions hold even less controlling or dominant as a result.
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back.

Evening diary
Well another 11 hour day of graft done and dusted, labouring tomorrow day then cooking tomorrow night, I will squeeze the gym in somewhere in between.

I got to thinking today after seeing another bookies through the window has had a shiny new makeover, why are there four machines in each shop??
Because with honesty I can only remember two being used in any bookies I frequented at any one time.
For me I wanted the isolation, I didn't go into a bookies to socialise, I didn't want to be disturbed or distracted.
I wanted the feeling of solitude,the ultimate escape.

Are there four machines in each bookies to water down the figures, to make the damage caused less significant?
I can only remember a couple of incidents where someone seemed to win big.
And truthfully did they wage as much as the withdrew??
I don't know is the answer.
But I do know that there is without doubt an allure that surrounds the fobt
If that's your method of gambling it's surely only got one outcome.
Loss, financial,mental,physical and emotional.
You can and I have wage a thousand pound in twenty minutes and lose the lot without a single return.
What is the maximum jackpot
A monkey, five hundred pounds.
How often does that jackpot pay out??
I view the fobt in sober times like this as the dream breaker.
I will do well to remember that when addiction creeps into my mind.
Because sober I can see how irrational and frankly ridiculous feeding them is.
I quote a line from an old BBC film
"I need the buzz"
"well buy a bloody beehive then!!"

As for the shiny new makeover I saw today I looked to our youngest son and said
"well at least I didn't pay for that"
Because I lined many,too many with my hard earned!!
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi Duncan

First of all congrats on reaching a lot of time gamble free, your diary is inspiring.

The reason there are four FOBT's in any one bookmakers is that's the maximum allowed. Now if these machines are not a menace to society then why not let the bookies have 30-40 in a building wall to wall? Today is very significant as the govt are finished doing a review of them (23-1-18) after consultation from both sides, the bookies and stop the FOBT's campaign.

The government has already said that the stake will be reduced between £50 and £2. My personal opinion is it should be reduced to £2 to align it with the rest of the industry or they belong in the casino. The bookies have argued that reducing it to £2 will cost jobs and close hundreds of bookies, which begs the question, HOW MUCH PROFIT DO THESE d**n THINGS MAKE!.

Speak soon.

Shaun

Hi Dunc's and congratulations on your gambling free time.

My opinion on the Fobt's is that the goverment doesn't undertsand or doesn't care about the nature of gambling addiction. Its not about the stake.. its about the passage of time. It matters not whether the stake is £50 or £2 or 20p for that matter... the money always goes....

For me working more or less minimum wage... playing on these machines even at a low stake..I do alot of damage. The only answer is to remove them.

The goverment won't remove because they are only able to see the world in terms of economics, money and jobs... rather than the health and happiness of the population. We live in an inherently exploitative society which if you think it through long and hard enuff is inherently evil.

Thats my opinion anyway.

Regards to all... S.A

Morning Duncan,

hope you are well mate and enjoying life. Didn't not want to leave you out as I've been trying to lend support to others as much as I can but I've known you a while now and I know your formula works well and I just enjoy reading your posts without feeling I need to comment or give you any advice as you are rock hard haha, a pro and legend at this giving up and abstaining lark!

Keep it going my friend, you are a shining example and good influence on so many people here.

Your old warrior palace friend, wilsy!

Morning diary.
Fellas thanks for your comments I believe the subject is a truly emotive one.
For me the answer to bookmakers is simple.
To gamble you should be means tested and your credit rating would reflect on how much you could stake, because the truth is I spun a hundred pound a spin towards the end of my gambling life, a stake that is almost a days income and I would not stop at one spin.
But like the legal loan sharks and pay day loan companies the truth is the lesser earners are exploited.
Regulating machines would not stop me gambling, in fact I would simply gamble for prolonged periods.
I am responsible for my own actions I accept that wholly and I understand that change, wholesale change to the way I live my life will result in addiction being less powerful.
The gambling industry promotes responsible gambling!!
Do they??
Really...............
Right we have arrived at our next job.
Time to do some lifting and shifting.
Duncs.

Evening diary.
On a train to a nights work following a days work already, I will take it whilst its there and not waste a penny of my hard earned.

I read alot about folk not being able to replace the buzz that gambling gave them and in truth it's something I struggle to relate to because the more I think about it for the last ten or so years of my gambling life the buzz came as a result of either getting away with the act through a thread of lies created or by simply surviving until the next funds became available, I got used to living on often worse than the bread line,being able to make something from nothing, living from day to day,an often empty fridge and embarrassingly filled at times through shoplifting.
A life of extreme highs and lows.
I had no relationship with money,it held no meaning.
I would cover my shame with extravagant purchases,buying things with money that was needed to function,bill money and such to try and kid the folk around me that life was great.
I cannot lie today, I know what happens,it's a life built upon one lie after another and when one lie is unearthed the whole lot come tumbling down.
A house of cards, no foundations to build upon.
Yes life throws curve balls, I accept that abstinence is purely a factor of giving myself the opportunity for a life without self created carnage.
Abstinence alone is not enough.
This diary is six years old today and the last time I gambled was the first day I truly sought change.
For the opportunity I am humbled and proud.
I today choose life.
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back

Dear diary.
Just climbed into bed, a ten mile cycle home as my train, the last train was cancelled.
Still got to turn the legs over and I do love the small hours, urban foxes scurrying from driveway to driveway looking for a free meal,not much traffic and what traffic there is isn't in a rush, the moon was beautiful a wedge lighting the night sky and plenty of stars to guide me, I am sure Joan's brother Ed was looking down a smile on his face that his kid sister is finding a way.
Then I got home and snuck out to the field with my beloved hounds watching them catch the scent of whatever animal has passed through,a pocket full of treats ensures they don't stray far from my side and a promise of a ginger nut with our tea upon our return home.
They are all curled up together now and I will let my mind drift off.
Back to labouring in the early hours then another evening at the stoves tonight,a burns supper to serve.
Oh and a sneaky bit of haggis for me,something I adore!!!
Friday morning I am having off work, I will reward myself with a workout at the gym.
Good night my dear friend,you are a true blessing,for it I thank you.
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back.

God bless you Duncs!!!

Goodnight!

S&B xx