Abstain and maintain.Stepping forward never back.

Afternoon diary
In between shifts, eight hours labouring done, my biceps burn, lol why did I ever join the gym lol, still had a fun day with my pal and fare play he went Dutch on the scrap metal we have collected over the past few weeks and that will treat Sarah and I to a nice supper tomorrow night after I finish another day of labouring. Off to my other job in half an hour, time to freshen up and enjoy a night at the stove. I now have a few days work next week but all early shifts so I will enjoy the evenings with Sarah and keep the money train rolling in. The following week I will be able to get back in the chair for a few more hours tattooing and hopefully the bottom of my sleeve will be done, the design encrotches my hand and am still not sure whether or not to get it re designed to end at the wrist, I am comfortable with having it on my hand but do understand the stigma that can be attached and truthfully my tattoos are for me, I don't have them to wear as a badge, funnily I since having my forearm done own a lot more long sleeved t shirts.they give me great therapy and I just have to look to know where my mind once was.
Right the stove calls.
Looking forward to the heat from it lol.
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back.

So good to see you working single shifts next week Duncs! I know it’s what you do but brutal hours is not healthy & I worry about you.

Love the new pic & I’m sure you will figure out exactly where you want the sleeve to end before you take to the chair - Kelly

An irrelevant random for you Duncs, but don’t make the same mistake I made with regards to your new sleeve tattoo. I got one done on my right arm a few years back and left it on the train !

And will echo Kelly, I’m just a Saturday shift a way from a day off after putting in the shift and hours this year and I can feel myself wilting and getting grumpier..We’re not designed to work !

Evening diary
Thanks for popping by Paul and Kelly good to have such great support, your words alone are amazing therapy.
Paul not such a random post from me yesterday, I have quite a few old school tattoos done in my late teenage years. I stopped back then because addiction wanted the funds for gambling tokens, I willingly gave all I had and more for the next twenty years, the luxury of inking my skin like so many other things got left by the way side.
Today my ink carries a great significance, I really have thought it through, the right side will be sleeved with for me what represents the dark side of my mind, the haunted side, a reminder for life where addiction has led me, and we are reworking my old ink into the top rather than covering it because I don't want to forget my life in any way.
Then I will start on the left arm sleeve representing the light in my life, Sarah, the kids and of course my beloved hounds will feature and in some way my love of cooking.
The whole act delivers great therapy for me and I accept each session I get to sit in the chair as a reward for my efforts and to remind me of my progress.
So I wrote that post yesterday as more therapy. I accept that life as an addict has intertwined, left many scars and tarnished memories, from that I will sift through the remains and take heart that I have been given the opportunity to make amends were possible, and better my life as an outcome.
I used to be ashamed of the person I was, today I do believe that the shame would come as a result of burying that life.
I am prepared to learn and have an unbridled desire to live life to the full as a result.
Just for today I choose to earn my way through pure hard graft.
I got home late afternoon and got to spend a couple of hours at the gym with Sarah and Lily. Once home I cooked us all a Chinese buffet, egg fried rice, hoisin beef, prawns and p*k choi and kung Po chicken which got everyone's undivided attention, oh and a rack of pork ribs delicious and a fraction of the cost of a takeaway and no msg in sight!! Something in my mind should be banned as it's shocking.
But that is something I know I will never be able to do so I will leave it there.
I will keep the hard earned, not a single penny waged.
My name is Duncs I am a recovering compulsive gambler
The three most important words
NO BET TODAY.
Stepping forward never back.

I take my hat off to you Duncs - you work so hard, cook so well, care so much - amazing, simply amazing!! We may as well throw an 'inspiring' in there as well!
All good wishes x

Morning Duncs, I think you misread my post, it was an irrelevant Random from moi to you. A few years back I got one of my spare arms tattooed by someone I know and they did a great bit of art but then I got drunk and left it on a train, infact the second arm that I’ve lost on a train . Prosthetic humour, yet true

Anyway it sounds cool.meaningful and good value your art to your arm. Have a good day Duncs and family

Morning diary
Paul I definitely think your wasted as a brickie, you have the gallows humour that befits most kitchens I have spent my life in.
I know a couple of lads who have some decent artwork on their prosthetics, sort of two fingers up to the fact they have lost limbs but still get it on.
Fair play fella.
So today I am on my way to a days cooking, my glass is half full and I intend to keep it that way.
Sarah woke me up with a surprise;) and I am full of beans.
The fella I labour for has a glass half empty, I marvel at the fact he takes the worst from every situation and focuses on that.
He knows where I have been in my life and how I have lived it and every day I work with him I try in vain to top his glass up!!
I accept that I can only change what I can
I see the good in even the darkest days
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back

Hi my dear friend ☺

Thank you so much for your support and am so pleased to see you clear headed and making the most out of life! Don't forget to slow down also..you need rest my friend!

I see many mouth watering converse going on your thread..probably not something chef Ramsey would approve for Sunday aft, but me is cooking mash & steak with tomato salad! 😀

I thought I share the common theme on your diary ☺

Take care and look after yourself!

Ps. I still chuckling to myself after our last converse where I did hear in the background the whole alarm system being set up for your bike :-))))))))))))))))

Hugs to you & your lovely family!

S&B xx

Morning diary
Thanks Sandra for your kind words, it's so good to see you rode the storm and are back in calmer waters.
So a very busy and successful weekend at the stove, today I move into a new week another one which will hopefully grow the reputation we are building for good honest food.
Valentines day sees a few extra bookings and we have a menu which will hopefully please everyone, today I have a long day at the stove to prepare the bulk of it, tomorrow I am labouring and Wednesday I am doing both jobs, Thursday at the stove and Friday I have rewarded myself with a days rest!! And then back cooking on the weekend so another busy week but tomorrow night I am off, I will get to spend it with Sarah and Friday all day.
So I look forward to another week of achieving what I set out to do.
Addiction still sulks away deep in the depths of my mind, I have an eye on him, waiting to see when he will try and brave another attack, trying to convince me that his way is better.
I know how he twists the truth,how selfish his desires are.
Me I wish to be selfless.
Today I will make a choice to allow that.
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back.

Have a great week my friend, live your dream

Wilsy

Afternoon diary.
Wilsy thanks for popping by.
I have had a flat out non stop four days, two days solid cooking and two days labouring with an evening of cooking on top so today I am treating myself to a day of rest before I embark on another ten long days of graft
Today Sarah and I went to the gym we didn't use the gym itself but a couple of hours spent in the wet room, steam,sauna and spa lovely way to spend a couple of hours and I walked out feeling refreshed and most of all relaxed.
I have had a terrible pain in my left hand this week upon waking I can hardly close my hand into a fist, the pain wears off through the day and returns when I relax at night. Not sure what I have done and the fact I am a lefty means I use it all day every day.
I am giving it an easy day today and if it continues I will seek medical advice.
So we enjoyed a ploughman lunch and the house is full of an incredible smell, a whole shoulder of lamb marinated in tandoori roasts slowly in the oven, we are going to feast tonight as a family.
Sarah is having forty winks on the couch presently with the hounds curled up with her.
Me I am catching up with the winter Olympics and what has gone on in the world around me.I am without doubt reaping the rewards of the effort I am giving life and I will continue to do what is possible to keep life this way.
I honestly didn't think that this was possible, to live with a genuine sense of contentment.
I understand myself so much better today, I also believe what others need from me too.
There is life after addiction, please embrace it, take all the help available, I could never have got to where I am today without so much support.
It's not the money, it's not debts, it's the time and self respect you gift yourself the day you look wholly at re(dis)covery.
As my shiny friend used to say
Never give up on giving up.
That is profoundly true.
My name is Duncs I am a compulsive gambler, no bet today.
Abstain and maintain
Stepping forward never back.

you enjoy your rest buddy, another great post

Wilsy

Morning diary.
I have woken up with a heavy heart this morning, yesterday evening I was told of the unbelievably sad and horrific news that the young brother of a lad that used to wash pots for me died in tragic circumstances.
He was 15 years old, hadn't had a chance to live and fell from the top of a multi storey carpark.
So many questions left unanswered for this family, one that was very tight knitted and will be I know in complete turmoil.
I did what I can, I held out my hand and offered my deepest sympathy and said I will always be here if I can do anything.
I accept I cannot do any more than that, I do truly feel their grief.
I can only hope in time that as a family they can all find peace.
Rip JT. Too young to be lost, it is a truly cruel world at times.
Off to work shortly, a walk with the hounds first to free my mind.
Humbled.
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi Dunc, hope this finds you and yours well. Thought I’d post to say thank for all the help and advice you gave me at the start of my recovery. Been reading my diary for the first time in ages and the brutal reality of my addiction came flooding back. It’s been some journey mate. Please take care, Gazza

Morning diary
Gazza thanks for popping by that is a truly outstanding achievement you have made,six years gamble free, with honour and strength my friend.
Up early this morning back at the stove,my favourite day of the week, for me the shop window of the week,if we get Sunday lunch right customers come back through the week.
I still have a painful hand but I am working through it, I will phone the doctors tomorrow and make an appointment.
So another week closes and I am determined not to waste a single minute.
I had a talk with one of my chefs yesterday about my addiction, I think I surprised him but I felt wholly comfortable talking about it. I am not ashamed of the person I am.
The shame would come if I didn't learn from what my life has been.
I have the ball in my own hands and don't plan on relinquishing it today.
Today matters, just for today I will not gamble
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back.