Adam poker 2015-2022-the future

Back at my flat tonight.... ready for work tomo..... fresh as a daisy...... rested a lot this weekend.... much much needed.... im sat now listening to music and resting up before an early start for work tomo....

Wish i could post pictures of my flat up as im super proud of what ive managed to accomplish not only over the six months from december completely renovating the flat and garden into what it is today but the seven years on here since 2015 getting better and better at not gambling in order to save money to own the flat outright.

I still owe money on it but am looking to pay it back over the next ten years (will be a tough ask), but im willing to put in some hard graft at work and will say yes to any overtime i can get in order to pay it back.

Then when i hit 50 hopefully my flat will be paid for and i can focus on saving for retirement after what i plan to be six months sebatical at work to chill in garden over a summer and watch the football.

That's my plan for the next ten years.....

All the best Adam xxx

The rest and relaxation  is so important, 

You should be super proud of where you are at , both not gambling and life in general.

testing, frustrating, crazy, not thinking straight, emotions all over the place, impulsiveness creeping in, thoughts of playing poker again have all stemed from signing up to facebook again two days ago.

Signed up to facebook just to look up someone for work just needed to know the spelling of their surname.  but once i had found it left my account open.

Then today after work got back and thought id go on started to look up friends and friend requests etc.... then i thought of the sunday billion free poker tourney i played years ago and thought id like to play that again....

So i looked it up and now u need to be an 8*8 member to play.... so then i crazily thought why not join as my gamstop is over can just play the free tournies (when calso infact my  mind became wired and i was thinking if i can join again i can play poker for money again? horray that would be great? of course totally forgeting all the years and misery it brought, the stress etc that at that moment went completely out the window,....

So i looked up my gamstop and tried to get it cancelled..... luckily it runs untill july 2023 so one more year...

So youd think that was the end of it,,,,, byut then i thought i live at new address i can use other email and sign up to a poker site with that..... the madness continued..... i had a moment of about to click on the deposit.... then tried to get verified and luckily my mobile number didnt get accepted as i think the reason is its on gamstop or related....

So now after a bath, speaking to my mum, and six hours of feeling uptight and agitated with the what ifs, should i shouldnt i's, i have come out unscathed....

But however the main thing was that if i was over the five year mark........on gamstop.....then i would have no doubt signed up and started playing i was soo gonna do it.....

925 days would be down the drain...... for what would no doubt have been a couple of weeks or a month of late nights and early mornings sitting at a computer eating unhealthily and ultimately stressing myself out....

Note to self today is a major wake up call.....

So no damage down but if it wasnt for my blocks id be back at it

 note to self massive day count doesnt stand a chance against my will sometimes to start playing again.

All the best adam xx

Dear @adam123,

Thank you for sharing, it is important to understand that no matter where in your recovery you are these things happen, but having your barriers in place and support around you allowed you delay yourself gambling which ultimately stopped you from gambling. 

If you need any further support please give us a call. 

Thanks, 

Ben

Forum Admin

Hi Ben,

The problem is if i could have gambled, i would of!!!!

I have the blocks in place but come next year there will be that opportunity again

If i act impulsively then i know i will gamble.

Need to put in plans of actions...

Five years not gambling online is huge

Already been four years i guess

My finances are soo much better....

This month my outgoings on bills are over 900 pounds...... due to 160 on annual tv licence..... so had i started gambling again who knows how much id have spent..... i only earn 1000 a month...

This month i should earn 1200 as ive doen overtime which is great as i can afford treats and save a bit for the winter months when heating the flat will be expensive.

The only thing that really matters at the moment at this time, this year, is that i wasnt able to gamble and im now in a better mindset.....  Next year is a different matter.

Looking to save 4k this calender year towards my debt, ive worked out in need to earn 900 pounds overtime from now till december and spend just 200 a month on food and socialising altogether....

Not sure whether its possible will see once im used to my new spending habbits..... Soo far i have no idea how much my food budget needs to be? will be buying savvy and only buying things on offer but will see how  much it costs.

All the best Adam xx

Just back form the leisure centre..... Not been taking advantage of it for a month now so decided to go to gym for an hour..... half an hour on treadmill then 6 mins rowing 1000 metres..... then play ed tennis with my mum for an hour..... not the must stenuous of hours as just took it gently..... gonna look to go again sunday i think...

Now im living on my own my mums not feeding me up so ive got no excuse now i should be able to watch what im intaking and do more exercise as im near the gym been at the flat for two weeks now and ive been to the gym three times whilst ive been here...

Will look to loose my belly and put on some muscle..... but first things first just got to go more... thats my aim for the rest of the month.... if i aim to go every other day then if i miss a few ill still be going quite a bit...

Really been indulging in easy food since being at the flat.... will look to eat more fruit and vegatables along with smaller portions.....

Easier said then done...

Im not stupidly overweight.... im bulky but i walk a lot at work and lift boxes and fluids throughout the day so will look to get trim and see where it goes.... looking forward to the challenge..... the challenge is not eating too much whilst not eating too little and not being hungry..

With regards to my gambling i really dodged a bullet the other night and will knuckle down to see me hit the 1000 day mark end of august.

All the best adam xx

Hi

Thank you for your honesty well done.

Going to the to gym is a healthy habit.

In recent yeasr I have found out that I am diabetic and some times I am being naughty yet not to often.

Easier said then done exhcanging unhealthy habits in to healthy habits 

Saying you are not stupidly overweight sounds like you are being hard on your self.

You are bulky there is more to love.

Yes the challenge is not eating too much whilst not eating too little and not being hungry, having balance in your every day life.

With regards to my gambling thank you for letting us klnow that you were vulnerable.

Life with out self inflicting pain sounds much healthier.

Keep it up.

Love and peace to everyone

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham UK

The thing i admire about you so much Adam, is that you learn lessons, then plan plan and plan.

I`m not sure of the answer to this question, but do Gamban give you notice that your subscription is about to end?, If not can we request a notification say a month before it ends to give us warning?, and finally on Gamban , maybe email them and ask if they can enroll you now for the minute your subscription ends.

You are so strong helpful and a real role model for anyone trying to quit, keep doing what you do.

Ps hope your mum took it easy on you regarding the tennis, lol

Adam,

Well done on staying strong mate - the gambling devil always sits on our shoulder telling us a punt is good - we know this is not the case but the addiction urges can be strong.

Stay safe

Best x

Thanks for popping by Dave and lids, today I've been to work and has a really productive day..... Then went back to folks for dinner..... Then back to flat watched a bit of a film then now I'll have a reasonably early night...... 

Tomo I've invited some friends over for a bbq so I'll get up earlyish then go to supermarket and buy some food then back here to chill for the day.  Hoping it'll be sunny we will see.

All the best Adam xxxx 

Hi

Thanks for your sharing your healthier life today with us.

I always feel good when ever I have a full productive day.

Today I tried to make a peace of wood square and then spilt in two on the bench saw.

Then went to cut both sides perfectly only to foget to lock the saw blade.

I was nto ahappy bunny. LOL.

Enjoy your self with your freinds and the BBQ.

It is so nice to make healthier choices in our life.

No fear no anxiety, just to be your healthy self.

Love and peace to everyone

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham UK

I bet u weren't Dave...

Everything going really well.

Super pleased I didn't gamble .

All the best Adam xx

meant to type bet u were, there autocorrect changed it...... cheers adam xx

So today i'm thankful.... very thankful for all i have....all ive worked hard for...... and for my health....all is contributing towards me being in the position i am now..

had i gambled last week i would have reset my counter (which would be very annoying and a knock on my self esteem), i would have no doubt had a couple of months of excitement followed by the endorphins and the buzz.... then the reality of me not actually being very good at poker would result in significant losses and a huge dent in my finances and thats if im lucky if i wasnt then who knows how deep into losses it would take me....

Yes stearing clear although sometimes is not as clear to see for myself is no doubt the best course of action.

i've been working on all aspects of my life over the past year.... .namely,,,,,,,,

work..... my line mamanger didnt like me emailing his bosses about things that id like to change and putting forward ideas..... soo much so that he said to me when we were alone that he didnt want to be my manager anymore..... so ive not asked him or spoken to him about work, holidays, anything now no messages etc no contact for three months now...... In that time ive put my energy into getting my ideas forward and my bosses bosses love them... soo much so that theyve got me to write the wob (weekly operational bulletin)..... now to keep myself entertained on an eve and at some times at work i put some hours into doing it.... im looking to improve staffs mental well being by showing ways to relax (films, books, podcasts, music, sports vids, mental well being videos) all recomended by other staff members.  Ive also put in a crossword i created (a funny one about staff), i  put patient survey results in to boost confidence amongst staff.  Ive put jokes in..... and lastly ive been doing funny interviews with colleagues to spread joy and laughter.... All in order to Improve staff members lives a bit.....  The feedback this week has been great..... and im really enjoying doing it....

If anyone on here has any ideas of what i can put in it im all ears? i work in a hospital by the way if that helps.

Finances.......  I've since i came on here really closely looked at my finances.... when i started i done a spreadsheet and to my horrer even tho i was trying really hard in 2016 to not spend much (by not buying drinks, food, clothes, holidays etc as i was gambling i spent 8k after bills that year)...... so i really worked hard to stop...... and year by year i got better.....untill the point when i managed to stop completely.....I rented out my flat as my folks didnt think i was well enough to look after myself and to be honest the way i was spending there was no way i could afford to pay the bills on a flat on my own along with the mortgage and the gambling i was doing..... so 7 years with my folks later ive fully paid off the mortgage and now just owe my folks the money they put into the flat...... so now 2022 after starting here in 2015 im sitting in my flat and can comfortably pay the bills and not only that but ive started to work pretty much full time to add to the strength of the position im in and how much i can pay my folks back..

Flat..... got the flat back in december...... since then my folks and i have decorated entire flat, jet washed patio, done all the gardening, got the carpets put in, bought painting, microwave, tv, tv stand, sofa, armchair, table, cutlery, shower curtain, sun chair, dvd shelves, just need more dvd shelves, chair and to bring down my double bed when we rent a van for the day......

Social life...... Since the lockdown ive really appreciated my social life again...... you really apprecate things after they are taken away from you for a while.... Since ive been at flat ive had most of my friends over to check it out and ive had 3 bbqs soo far..... think ill see how many i can have this summer!!!!!.  

Health..... in April i joined the gym and due to social life i havent honestly been very much..... its one thing i really need to improve but i get tired after work most days.... but i have been four times and april was free so those four times have cost me 15 pounds each visit which is a lot but once im more settled ill look to improve those numbers.  Im still not drinking or smoking its been 6 years not smoking and 4 years not drinking in august...... and then the not gambling is huge for the health too and in august that will be 1000 days.... so there's a lot to be celebrated in august....

So my main objective for 2022 was to be independent and to be fair i pretty much am now..... my folks are helping me with all sorts for the flat but im getting up for work on time, im working well, im sleeping well, im feeding myself, the flats really clean, im socialising and bar almost gambling last week (gamstop stopped me) the independence is great.   

So thats my update on myself....

ALl the best adamxxx

Good evening Adam you should be really proud of yourself and what you have achieved.You have come such a long way forward since stopping gambling and are now enjoying an independent life.You seem to be getting on well at work and have a good social life.

The rewards from not gambling are huge and life for you just gets better and better.

Thanks for all your support during my journey.

Take care

Delightx