Amongst the months of struggles and a period of urges, the bookies finally figured out my self exclusion from their monitors.
This is the end.
Hello @anemotioni,
thank you for joining the GamCare forum and for starting a recovery diary. You said 'this is the end'. What did you mean by that? The end of your gambling? If so, then it could also be the start of your recovery.
If you want to talk about it 1:1 feel free to contact us on the Helpline on 0808 8020 133 or by Livechat.
We hope you continue to post and update us on how you're feeling.
Best wishes
Deirdre
Forum Admin
Hi
After years of unhealthy self inflicted pains and suffering I set a healthy boundary to give up the unhealthy habit.
For me these boundaries helped me from hurting myself.
Yet these boundaries indicated I cared a little bit more about myself and people around me.
Healthy boundaries are the beginning of a much healthier life healing from the pains of my past.
That boundary decision could be viewed as the end of self abuse and the beginning of a much healthier motivated life where I could become more motivated and less afraid.
Love and peace to every one.
Dave L
@absentee
Hi
Recovery is about not only abstaining from but understanding when we are vulnerable and finding a healthier life each day.
Only once we stop hurting our self can healing our pains and start our path to healthier living.
Your decision for self exclusion is a healthy action and will be one of many actions to improve you life onwards.
Your crazy urges just means you are emotionally vulnerable and will understand more about your emotional triggers.
It gets harder before it gets easier and healthier.
That is very empowering to know it takes more than just a self exclusion.
Please do not give up on your self.
Dave L
@absentee
Yes - I initially thought they'd ban me from all bookies until finding out blanket exclusions are impossible.
This led me to abusing the restrictions and travelling out of town and costing me a mere grand.
I'm at my lowest financially but whenever an urge comes back I immediately log onto O2 and pay off an extra month of bills.
I have 2 parrots of my own and slowly coming to terms with prioritizing their veterinary care.
Losing from gambling had made me numb because it was a regular occurrence, I am happier now, miss the thrills of winning big but accumulaters are sucker bets and in the long term is a waste of time.
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